Help! What Should I do?

Question

Hello, I have a 12 year old niece and today I came across a letter she had in her note book. It talked about how her family didnt appreciate her and how she wished she was dead. I dont know how to approch ths situation. Should I tell my sister about what I read or should I speak directly to my niece? Please help.

Answer 1

Pretty typical pre-teen funkies. Not any of your business. Why were you going through her things?

How old are you? Which gender? And what are your intentions concerning your niece?

Answer 2

Wow! I'm from the philippines and in Davao, a child with the almost the same situation hanged herself a few days after writing some notes on her diary about her problems. Seek professional advice from a Psychiatrist or a priest before ever making any move. Your talking to her directly might offend her since she will know you read her notes. Talking to your sister might also be counterproductive. Your sister might go into denial and be negative about the situation. But if you think that won'tbe so, then you may talk to her.

Answer 3

You need to tell your sister, not your niece (She will think your digging through her stuff). She is 12, so she is going to be going through somethings at this age. She doesn't feel pretty, her period, all kinds of stuff you know teenage stuff. So, I wouldn't jump all scared ship yet. It could possibly be that she got into some trouble and she wrote that down. I know when I was younger much much younger like that age, I had the same feelings. I think at some point we all did, we got in trouble and nobody loved us, and the family was out to get us..... I would however speak to your sister. Call her in the morning, it will give you peace of mind. Good luck to you and your family!

Answer 4

I would talk directly to your niece. I think you need to make your sister aware of the situation, but your niece might feel more comfortable speaking to you. Reassure her that she is loved and valued and ask her why she is feeling the things she is feeling. Keep her talking. Have the name of a counselor available if that seems to be the next course of action.

Answer 5

talk to your sister, she is your niece's mom and she should know about this. your sister then needs to talk to your niece. however, it's prefered have you talk to your niece if your niece has a grudge your sister. Talking to someone outside of the household would have a different impact on her cuz she probably doesn't hold a grudge against u like how she is mad at her family. If she is feeling suicidal, then tell your sister and contact a professional immediately.

-hope this helps

Answer 6

If you have a strong and open relationship with your sister. Then let your sister know about the letter. Especially if she loves her daughther so much. She will appreciated from you and who knows she might be so busy:that she hasn't notice her daughter is crying out for help. Becareful how you approach about the letter. Don't approach your sister with your niece in the same room ok.
If you don't have a strong relationship with your sister and its not a good environment. Then maybe approach your niece first.

Answer 7

While the thought of her privacy being violated will make some noise,this is one of those things that need immediate response,tell your sister right away. There may be more deeper issues with your niece that have not yet come to the surface. As the adult it is your duty to protect the child and make sure she is safe. Any problems that arise can be dealt with later as it is your nieces life that first must be considered and possibly saved.

Answer 8

I am 12 too and I know how she feels. I say things like I wish I was dead. I know it's immature. But I get stressed real eaisely!
Were getting older and we are hitting puberty, having attitude. and mostly peer pressure. It's hard when your almost a teen and have loads of homework and you start getting involved with guys. It's a tough situation.
Talk nicley with your neice about what goes on in her life. I am sure she would rather talk to you at this point!

Answer 9

You do need to call your sister right now. She needs to figure out how to help her. Being depressed and feeling desperate is not that uncommon, but those kinds of thoughts do lead to suicide attempts that can cost her life or cause her to become institutionalized or drugged and impact her future. She needs to know she is loved and appreciated and they need to figure out how to show her this. Feeling like you need to die in order to make people feel sorry they treated you badly is the common motive for teen suicide. I am sure her family does not realize she feels this way, it is a very quiet form of desperation. Teens are under a lot of pressure and their hormones can be tortuous, it does take a lot of team work to try and be sure they are not drifting into depression and to get them out of it. It could be just about anything that is making her feel this way, but she does need to talk about it with her mom and she needs to be asked how it is that she could feel more appreciated - while she still can be. I spent nights for several years in my teens by my mom's sink, fingering her knives. I had also selected several buildings to jump from. Fortunately, I never actually acted on it, but I was that close. For your niece, the pain is very real.

Answer 10

This is a tough one. I would talk to both of them before your niece hurts herself. Her mother should know about the letter and I think it's time for her to talk to a shrink. Good luck!

Answer 11

If I were you, I would take her out on a "girls night out" - do some chick flicks together, have some popcorn, bake cookies... this will open the door to dialogue, and then maybe you can get to the deeper issue behind it. It might be something really small and simple.. then maybe talk to your sister about what she said - but don't mention the note.