i believe my 2 year old niece is being molested not sure what to do?

Question

my niece is 2 she stays with me almost every weekend. her parents have a guy staying with them who i believe is molesting her. today she told me that eric bites her where her diaper is. she has shown other symptoms as well. i didnt see any marks or anything when i changed her though. my husband doesnt want me to make any calls b/c he thinks it will backfire on us b/c i have called cps on them b4 for them not taking care of the kids and they didnt let us see them for a long time. im just really concerned about it and im afraid the parents arent going to believe she said it or are going to say that we told her to say it. if theres no proof of it will anyone take the word of a 2 year old or will they just brush it off. i believe her and shes also having trouble sleeping and talking about stuff ive never heard her talk about, she has also been calling the guy i believe is doing it daddy to is any of this normal and who would believe it.

Answer 1

Make sure you are sure that your gut is telling you something is wrong sexually before you report it and you are not just upset about something else. OBVIOUSLY IF YOUR GUT TELLS YOU THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG YOU SHOULD REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY AND HELP THAT LITTLE GIRL!! but if it is a spite thing and you do it that is wrong to the child who will have to go through tests that are awful because someone was mad at her parents.

Answer 2

My wife and I are foster parents and have seen what sexual abuse does to a child first hand. It devastates the child. If the perp. is a close Friend of the family and the child has a bond with him it will create a lot of trust issues and could create long term probs. Pushing her to give more answers might make her withdraw even more. Some children will talk openly others won't. Her changes in behavior could definitely be a tip. If you have called cps (child protective services?) before, it sounds like it may not be a stable environment and the parents may not be capable of making the right choices for her. Where we live if a child is removed from there home they will try to place the child with family before seeking a foster family. If you do a "hotline call" it will be taken seriously and kept confidential. If your fears are true, then the damage has begun. The sooner it stops the sooner she gets the help. Best of luck

Answer 3

My younger brother was also being molested at one point.

The absolute most important thing to do is to emphasize excessively that you will always love them, etc, no matter what. What happened to my little brother was that his molester (it happened for a while, sadly) told him that his family and friends would hate him if he ever told what had been happening, and that everyone would think he was a liar, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if that approach was common, so, yeah, if that's what you suspect, you REALLY need to combat that very possible idea that's being pushed into her mind.

For her sake, I hope it isn't happening. My brother (about 10 now) is really struggling to cope with himself even 2 years or so after we found out he had been sexually abused.

The other important thing (as well as excessively emphasizing love etc) is to make it VERY clear that the abuser was wrong, that she has done NOTHING wrong. She also must know that she is completely safe from the abuser if he is found out.

Unfortunately, due to molested children being so young, it may be very difficult to get a case against the molester to hold up in court as their defense will hammer away at the child's unreliability. If it turns out this way (if it gets that far and CPS, the police, and counselors have suggested that a trial won't hold up), you also must not let your niece think that her abuser will never go punished for his actions.

If you truly suspect something, above all, you MUST speak to the parents, and make sure that they take her completely seriously. If she is being abused, and her parents do brush it off when she finally gains the courage to tell them, it will destroy her, emotionally and mentally. Above all, you can not let that happen.

And as it has already been suggested, do contact the CPS.

Edit: also, when you ask her questions, you CAN NOT put ideas in her head, i.e. don't ask "was *person* doing anything to you", ask "has anyone been doing strange/discomforting things". Don't ask "did the person *do something specific*", ask "what did they do?". If she gets ideas put in her head, it makes her a whole lot less credible to the police etc.

Answer 4

I would definitely let someone know. If you feel you can't talk to her parents or that they will not believe or be supportive, then there's really no choice but to alert the authorities. The most important factor is the child & her well being. Molestation can be devastating and will affect her for the rest of her life. The older she gets the less she will confide in others about it because she will begin to take on the blame for it - kids always seem to find a way to make it their fault in their own minds when it is not their fault in any way. Even if her parents won't let you see her initially, when they find out that it is the truth, I would hope they are grateful enough to you to recognize that instead of causing her harm, you actually saved her. In any case, protecting her is the most important thing to do.

Answer 5

As a social worker, I have had many people ask my advice concerning this subject. They want to know what to do if you have no proof. Here is what I tell them... Call child protective services. The people answering the hotline are trained extensively and will decide if the situation merits a visit from an investigator. It is not your job to decide and who would want that weight on their shoulders anyway? Right now your concern needs to be the child's safety, not whether or not you get to see her. What good is seeing her going to do for her situation at home? Contrary to what people often think, children do not tend to lie about things like this. If she is making odd comments that you would not expect to hear from a two year old, something is going on in her home that needs to be investigated. So, like I said before, it is your responsibility as an aunt to protect your niece. Call child protective services as soon as possible.

Answer 6

call socail services ... you can call annomously... they can go in and check her out properly to see if anything is going on, try not to worry about her going into foster care when making the call... normally they try to find relatives who want the child before putting them in the system... talk to your husband about possibly adopting her to give her a better home and make the call... even if they don't let you see her for a little bit (which they'll have no proof that you made the call) would you rather not see her for a little bit or possibly have her keep going through what she could be dealing with? ask yourself how you would feel if it was true and she was being hurt and you knew that you had done nothing to help her. you sound like you love her alot and are really concerned for her well being, just make the call and do whats best for her

Answer 7

This must be devastating for you. No one wants their child to suffer something like this and to have their trust broken in someone they're close to. The best advice I could give you is to not write her reliability off. Yes, she is four and has been exposed to the knowledge of sex while no four year old should even know what that is. However, when people speak about repeated molestations and rapes in their home, in many cases, it continued because the mother refused to believe their child or confront the facts. I don't think you are one of those mothers. While it is possible that this may not have happened, it could have happened. It feels horrible to even think someone you trusted so much could hurt your child, it's much worse to not believe her and for this to happen again. Remember, in the vast majority of rape cases, a person (including children) are violated by those who are close to the family and trusted by them. That's how they gain access to the child. I suggest taking her to a psychologist and to her doctor to check everything. Since she is so young, if she was raped, there may be some signs of trauma upon examination. Don't doubt her because she smiles when she talks about it. I urge you to seek the expertise of professionals.

Answer 8

If you believe that the child is in danger then you need to call child protective services. The parents are old enough to take care of themselves. A 2 year old is not. Tell the parents what she has said to you. If they do not believe you or do not do anything about it then call. If you truly believe that they are just going to brush it off. Then call and don't say anything to the parents.

Answer 9

Ok seriously now what is the bigger concern? Her parents being angry with you or getting this kid the , expletive deleted, away from a potential molester???

Honestly now, as an adult who is seeing signs of abuse it is your DUTY to bring this to the attention of the proper authorities NOW!

And yes they will bring in social workers and therapists to assess the child. Any time this is brought to the attention of police they bring in specialists and usually remove the child until they can prove or disprove the allegations. At least they do here and if they don't there I would be very shocked.

Answer 10

Pick up the phone and call the police!! I could never sit back and do nothing if I thought for one second that my niece was being molested. You can make an anonymous call if you're that worried about getting into trouble with your family.

Toddlers and babies can't defend themselves so we as adults have to look out for them. Don't fail your niece...her entire future mental, emotional, and physical well-being depends on you.

Answer 11

In the mouths of two or three a thing should be established. You've gotten more than enough answers that are encouraging you to take action. Doing nothing is saying I am not involved. This is a lie, you are invoved if you do nothing. It is you olbigation/duty to make everyone you know that something is going on. If you are wrong, the parents ought to be glad someone cares to put them in check.