6 Year old says I baby him?

Question

My fiance's 6 year old son says I treat him like a baby. I call him pet names that any mother would call a 6 year old, like sweetie and sometimes Snookie. His mom died when he was just 2 and I'm not trying to replace his mom. I asked him why he thinks this. He said it's because I ruffle his hair and occasinoaly pinch his cheeks. But I never do it infront of his friends. He also says it's because I give him a kiss on the cheek before he goes to school and I leave a mark. I hardly ever do. Occasionaly I'll put a note in his lunch box saying "Hope you liked what I packed! See ya later alligator." What should I do? I talked with my fiance and my fiance's talked with him, but he STILL says I baby him. HELP!

I NEVER do it infront of his friends. I know what it's like to have that done infront of friends.

Answer 1

If I were you I would listen to him.Sounds like a very independent young man. He's more looking for respect from you I think. Then again it could just be a phase. My son went through the same thing and started yelling at me when I would call him "buddy" which I have done since he was born LOL!! By no means do I think you are trying to replace his mother but I think if you give him a little more room and just talk to him like he's asking you it will actually bring the two of you closer and eventually you will be able to do those things with him (in private of course not in front of his friends) and you will find that you will BOTH respect and love each other all the more. Good Luck!! : )

Answer 2

He sounds like a typical boy. Don't call him sweetie or Snookie even in private. And don't kiss him on the cheek when you drop him off at school, especially if you have lipstick on. Try blowing him a kiss or kiss the top of his head where the lipstick won't show, but not in front of his friends. I'd keep putting the notes in the lunchbox though. I think that is sweet and as long as they aren't too big or girly looking his friends don't have to see them. It's kind of hard on mom's, but boys get to an age where they don't want to be babied.

Answer 3

he thinks your trying to replace her though
what u should do is sit him down and seriously talk to him
no pet names or silly stuff
tell him that u love him and that u want to be like his mommy but not replace her dont put notes like that in his lunch box if u do put one that says i love u in there and stop the cheek pinching and dont call him snookie , sweetie is ok but not all the time use the childs name.

or if that doesnt work just stop everything all together just wake him up help him get ready and give him his lunch box.

or if u cant stand that u could always try this: GET PREGNANT

once theres another kid in the house he'll wanna be the baby again belive me. my sis had another baby (this one a girl after 2 boys) and the 2 yr. old is regressing trying to be a baby again. he gets in trouble for it though.

Answer 4

I want to say this nicely. I do not mean this how it may sound. You are never going to be able to take the place of his real mother. He will always have a soft spot in his heart for her. If he does not liked being kissed or called pet names, then you may want to refrain from this. In his little eyes you are invading his personal space and he may feel threatened by this. Instead of trying to love on him, try having fun with him, such as reading books, playing games, making cookies. Then let him call the shots when it comes to hugs and kisses as well as pet names.

I know for an affectionate person, this may be hard for you to do, but he will get more out of the relationship if you let him call the shots when it comes to affection.

Answer 5

Well maybe you shouldn't pinch his cheeks or call him baby names in baby voices like he is a newborn baby or something. He is just growing up. He has obviously never had a mother figure, so maybe he just doesn't know any better. It seems like this kid is better off being treated like "a man" since he has had only his father most of his short life. I mean yes he is young, but not a 2-year-old. Treat him as so.

Answer 6

Keep doing what you're doing, but update a little. Change "sweety" for "buddy", or "Snookie" for "charger". Switch up hair ruffles for pats on the back. Send something cool in his lunch...like a batman sticker. Give him some big kid responsibilities around the house. Let him know is little ways that you see his growth and like it while at the same time still find every way possible to show your love for him.

Answer 7

Kids today are harder, growing up quicker than we'd like. Maybe times have changed, but we have to change with them. It may just be time to start treating him like a man, and not the rosy cheeked cute little boy that you see. instead of calling him sweetie or snookie, call him champ, pal, boss, that type of thing. instead of ruffling his hair, maybe a playful punch on the shoulder. instead of kisses, shake his hand.

Answer 8

Well you got 2 give him some room dont emmbarass him or anything let him come 2 u. he misses his mom so he thinks ur trying 2 replace her. u should sit down and talk 2 him and tell him that u know noone could replace his mom and since you pinch his cheeks and kiss him it reminds him of his mom. So just give him some room and let him come 2 u.Hope i helped!

Answer 9

Maybe try to respect his wishes... to an extent of course. Try not calling him things like "Snookie" and give him a hug rather than a kiss. It is normal for a child to go through this, especially if they have lost their mother. Be there for him as much as you can, but try not to cross the line that he draws for you... if you are too pushy, it might make him push back that much harder.

Answer 10

I agree with the people who say to respect what he's saying. If you're ruffling his hair, pinching his cheeks, kissing etc. to make him feel good, it's not working. If you're doing it to make yourself feel good for feeling like you're taking care of him, you need to stop because it's backfiring. 6-year-olds are definitely beyond that kind of thing. that's not to say you can't show love and affection, but try doing it by curling up on the couch together at story time, or asking about his day, or playing a game that he likes with him.

besides, it's a good thing to teach kids that they're the boss of their own bodies. i teach my kids that unless it's for safety (like lifting them out of harm's way) or at the doctor's, nobody's allowed to touch them unless it's okay with them ... that means no hugs, no kisses, no tickles, etc. if they say stop, even from me and his dad. i tell them if an adult ever keeps doing that when they've told them to stop that they should tell another adult. why confuse them by saying that mom and dad are allowed to do it?

P.S. does *anybody* like it when you pinch their cheeks? i think not....