muslims:How does one control their temper then?

Question

I have a bad temper, if I was mad or upset, I have moved away from the situation, when I was standing I would sit down, when I were sitting I would lie down, and I have recited the "darood" and "laholawallah kuwatta", but to no avail.

Praise be to Allaah.

Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only Allaah knows their full extent. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:

http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=658&ln=eng&txt=paradise

Answer 1

Here are some tips, hope they help you



1) SEEKING REFUGE WITH ALLAH FROM THE SHAYTAAN:
Once,when the Prophet (saw) was sitting down there were two men swearing at one another.One of them was red with anger and the viens on his neck were standing out.Prophet (saw) said:"I Know a word which if only he would say it,this (anger) would leave him.If he said "Aoodhu Billaahi min al-shaytaan." (I seek refuge with Allah from the shaytaan.") this (anger) would leave him." (Bukhari


Prophet (saw) also said:"If a man gets angry and says "Aoodhu billah" (I seek refuge with Allah), his anger will cease."
2) KEEPING QUIET

The Prophet (Saw) said:"If any of you gets angry let him keep quiet." Anger usually makes a person lose control,to the extent that he may utter words of Kufr (Allah forbid) or curses , or the word of divorce which will destroy his family,or foul language that will earn him the enmity of others.
There are 2 ahadeeth of Prophet (saw) in which he stated:"The most hated person in the sight of Allah is the most quarrelsome person" He also said:"A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.

If you are a believer,you must not even talk indecently,but rather you shuold only speak good.Any quarreling too much only invokes the wrath of Allah,the Almighty,the Powerful.

3) KEEPING STILL:
Prophet (saw) said:"If anyone of you gets angry let him sit down if he is standing.If his anger goes away,(that is good), otherwise let him lie down."
One of the benefits of this Prophetic teaching is that it prevents the angry person from doing something crazy and out of control.


4) REMEMBERING THE ADVICE OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH (saw):
Abu Hurairah once told the Prophet (saw): Advise me." The Prophet (saw) said:"Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times and every time the respone was "Do not become angry."
In another place, the Prophet (saw) said:"Do not get angry and paradise will be yours."

5) REMEMBERING WHAT ALLAH HAS PROMISED TO THOSE WHO AVIOD ANGER AND STRIVE TO CONTROL THEMSELVES IN THE BEST WAY TO EXTINGUISH THE FLAMES OF ANGER:
Prophet (saw) has told us about this great reward:" Whoever suppresses his anger at the time when he could express it openly, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection."

Another immense reward is described in the hadeeth:"Whoever suppresses his anger when he is able to express it openly, Allah will call him before all the people on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose whoever of the hoor-al-iyn he wishes."

6) KNOWING THE HIGH RANK AND DISTINCTION THAT IS BESTOWED UPON THE ONE WHO CONTROLS HIMSELF:
Prophet (saw) said:"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle another to the ground, the strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry." The more angry a person gets the more highly valued is his self- control.

Once, Prophet (saw) passed by some people who were wrestling and asked "What is this ?" they told him: So and so is a strong man.No one challenges him but he beats them at wrestling." Prophet (saw) said:"Shall I not tell you who is stronger than him? a man who is mistreated by another, but suppresses his anger, has defeated his own shaytan and the shaytan of the one who mistreated him."

7) FOLLOWING THE GUIDANCE OF PROPHET (saw) WITH REGARD TO ANGER

He is our example, and his attitude towards anger is clearly demonstrated in many ahadeeth of which one of the most famous was reported by Anas, who said:" I was walking with the messenger of Allah (saw) and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a stiff collar.He was accosted by a Bedouin who pulled his cloak roughly. I looked at the Prophet's neck and saw the mark left by the collar.The bedouin said:" O Muhammad, give me some of the wealth of Allah that you have!" The Prophet (saw) turned to him and smiled and ordered that he should be given something."
another way in which we may follow the example of Prophet (saw) is by making our anger for the sake of Allah (swt), when the limits of Allah are violated. This is the worthy knid of anger. Prophet (saw) became angry when he was told about the Imam who was putting people off praying because his recitation was too long.He became angry when he saw a curtain decorated with pictures of animated creatures in Aisha's (raa) house, His anger was only for the sake of Allah


8) KNOWING THAT SUPPRESSING ANGER IS ONE OF THE SIGNS OF TAQWA (Piety) :
allah has praised certain people in his book and the Prophet (saw) highly commended them. There have been prepared for them garden's as wide as the heavens and the earth! One of thier characteristics is that they..."spend (in Allah's cause) in anger and pardon men, verily Allah loves al-muhsinun (good doers)." (3:134)

These are the people whose good qualities Allah has mentioned, people whom others admire and want to catch up with. Another of thier characteristics is that " when they are angry they forgive." (42:37)

9) PAYING ATTENTION WHEN ONE IS REMINDED

Anger is something natural, with regard to which people differ.It may be very hard for a person not to get angry, but a sincere person,if he becomes angry and is reminded about Allah, will remember him and will saty within the limits that he has prescribed.Some examples of this follow

Once, a man asked permission to see Umar bin Khattab and permission was given.The man said:"O son of Al- Khattab, by allah, you are not giving us much and you are not ruling us fairly! Umar became so angry that he was about to hit the man, but Al-Hirr Ibn Qays (who was among the people sitting with Umar) said:" O Ammer al- Mumineen, Allah said to his Prophet (saw): :Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good and turn away from the foolish (i.e dont punish them)." (7:199) and this man is one of the foolish.: Umar did not take the matter any further when this was recited to him.He adhered to the words of Allah.This is how the muslim should be, not like the evil hypocrite who, when he got angry and was told about the hadeeth of Prophet (saw) to seek refuge with Allah from shaytaan, said:" Do you think there is something wrong with me? Do you think I am crazy? Go Away!" we seek refuge with allah from failure.

10) KNOWING THE BAD EFFECTS OF ANGER
The bad effects of anger are many, harming both the self and others.A person may swear and utter obscenities and may hit others, lashing out with no control.It may even lead to killing.Even if anger does not go as far as this, there may still be broken bones and injuries.If a person with whom a man is angry runs away, he may turn his anger upon himself, tearing his clothes, slapping his cheeks, falling unconscious or breaking dishes and furniture.

One of the worst things that result from anger and cause social ills and family breakdowns is divorce.Ask many of those who have divorced thier wives, how and when it happened and they will tell you "It was in a moment of anger."

Feelings of regret and failure haunt people's minds and life becomes bitte, all because of anger.If only they had rememberd Allah and come back to thier sensess, restrained thier anger and sought refuge with Allah from shaytan... going against the shareeah only ever result in loss.

Allah says in surah araf verse no 201: "Verily those who are pious,when an evil thought comes to them from shaytan,they remember and they then see aright."
Ibn Kathir says that evil thought include anger as well.
The phycical harm that results from anger is very serious, as the doctors describe, such as thrombosis, high blood pressure. fatal heart attacks, diabetes, etc.We ask allah for good health.

11) THE ANGRY PERSON SHOULD THINK ABOUT HIMSELF AT THE TIME OF ANGER:
If the angry person could see himself in the mirror at the time of anger, he would be put off by his own appearance! How happy the shaytan must be when somewhen is in this state.!

12) DUA:
This is the believer's constant weapon.He asks his lord to rid him of evils, problems and bad characteristics, and he seeks refuge with allah from falling into the pit of Kufr and wrongdoing caused by anger, because one of the three qualities which will save a person from hell fire is bieng just and fair both at times of contentment and at times of anger.

We must remember that when we are angry, shaytaan flows in our blood.Imagine how easy it is fro him to make us do crazy things in a state of anger.

Answer 2

Yes, there are continuously the ones moments whilst you consider like slaughtering any one or yelling till you may have misplaced your voice for weeks... however you must take manage over your self, so listed here are a few recommendations! Steps one million. Realize that matters may also be dealt with good invariably; it is only a topic of what style of perspective you set into it. two. Be thoughtful of others, and eventually, your self. The manner you react will eventually have an effect on your atmosphere. If you must rebuke any one for doing some thing incorrect, you'll continuously do it frivolously, in a individual location. This procedure is continuously larger for every person in the end. three. Realize that no person loves to be round folks who get irritated without problems, and act abusive. The best manner you'll difference the predicament is via commencing with your self. four. Get clear of circumstances in which your anger could get the excellent of you, equivalent to while any one is teasing you. Ignore the opposite individual and stroll away. If you need to, do that a couple of occasions till the individual will get the trace that you're going to no longer tolerate it. But on no account use your mouth or frame negatively to inform any one that you will not manage teasing or some thing of the style. Tips * When you consider like you're approximately to explode, rely one million, two, three, four, five after which come to a decision how you're going to act. This surgeon-advocated procedure has certainly helped, I can vouch for that. Warnings * Although it is going to appear tough within the opening, you're going to get it so long as you set your self into it. No one wakes up at some point as a modified individual, and also you are not able to gain knowledge of a brand new talent in at some point... * ... and sure, finding out to manage your mood is certainly a talent since no longer every person can do it, and it is a best factor to grasp, well for you and for others. Hope it is helping.Good Luck!! ):-)

Answer 3

Salaam Alaykum,
Yes I have had anger control issues my whole life and it can have devastating consequences if you act on them..here is a true story..a man and his wife had been happily married. Everyday he waited after work and his dinner was waiting for him at the same time everyday. One day..no wife..no dinner..he was upset and found her smiling and talking to another man. In a rage he waited until she came home and he shot her. The evidence and witness accounts in the discovery which he read from his lawyer in jail went like this.
His wife went to the same supermarket everyday. She planned on making his favorite stew for dinner that night. The supermarket did not have what she was looking for so she went to another..thus causing the delay and the man she was speaking to was a complete stranger asking her kindly for directions. The man cried openly when he read the discovery report and never tried to fight his guilt in the trial and accepted his life sentence. This is why we must think through our actions..this case is extreme of course. But a good case in point when the shaytan takes over our mind.
Wasalaam

Answer 4

Asalamu Alaykioum,

Well, with my anger issues its not very big but its still anger which is wrong, it really does help me to think of Allah (swt) and also think of al Jinnah (paradise) and how sweat it is, i also begin to recite Shahada in my head and Istagfir Allah, that helps me to get rid of my anger, subahanAllah, it works..
May Allah (swt) lead us all the straight path and keep the Shaytaan out of our ears...
Salam:)

Answer 5

I used to have a bad anger i could killl someone it was bad - got into fights - but then read that that if someone had a little anger he don't go to heaven , i used to say Allah (swt) how can it be a man has not even one single anger - but now i have no anger its gone - pray 5 times a day and its gone i lll email you a reading by a musim pir if you want later -
now i understand what it meant no anger - got into a fight with a drunk person - and still i had no anger even in fight

Answer 6

You sound very distraught. Speak to your Imam or an elder. You may need therapy, counseling and perhaps a tranquilizer before you cause a problem which may cause you jail time and many regrets.

Answer 7

all of your free time praise Allah and his beloved prophet Mohammad pbh