i don't know about the porn habit?

Question

ive been with my bf for 3 years, we actually broke up a few months ago because i got tired of him looking at porn all the time and not caring that i wasn't okay with it. he doesn't understand that it makes me feel like i'm not good enough...and he tells me its not me and yada yada. i thought if he cut down on it then id be okay with it, so i got back with him. well, it still bothers me. i'm almost to the point where i just really dont care anymore. idk if that's a good or bad thing. how am i supposed to deal with this one??

Answer 1

You're giving him the okay to be into porn by not delivering an ultimatum. If it's making you uncomfortable, obviously you can't go to the next level with your partner. I normally wouldn't say to draw the line between Playboy and playing house, but I think in your case you can do this.

If he's worth keeping, he'd want YOU to be his own monogamous private porn star. He gets the real you AND his fantasy chicks. To me, that's cheating.

Answer 2

I would desire to consider ocimom .. watching porn isn't .. established for the two of you an it is going to consume at your marriage . think of roughly it ,if it replaced right into a classic concern why are people struggling with it plenty to maintain it away. If he's watching it known day in an time out that's no ask your self he cant carry it mutually once you get ur turn with a view to communicate. I by no ability aloud porn in my homestead, that's degrading to women an adult adult males. he's using that to shelter his desires quite of you... How does that make you sense? My husband has one concern on his ideas whilst it is composed of intercourse ME! I cant shelter his desires an he can shelter mine. Porn is an evil ***** who must be thrown out of your place, there is somthing greater goin at right here than you're prepared to have self assurance. You being a proper youthful female would desire to be sufficient for him. Ask him why he feels the would desire to do it himself an how long this has been goin on. the reality that u watched porn once you have been little is quite frightening. I say you the two would desire to do somthing quickly till now that's to previous due.

Answer 3

You won't like this advice...leave him.

Until he realises that the habit is harming his life, he will NOT quit. A porn addiction is the same as any addiction. So, since you have a problem with his watching porn, let him try to find a woman that doesn't have a problem with it, and there are some women who don't - in fact enjoy it as much as he does.

Now for you. His watching porn does NOT mean that he finds you lacking in either the looks or sex drive department. So, soothe your bruised ego and come to realise that you are the person you want to be. If your next boyfriend looks at the odd porno, be more worried about how and where he expends the energy created by the arousal, and not necessarily the source. The watching of porn is an outlet for fantasy. Although, it is not necessarily the best outlet.

Anyway, good luck with the next guy.

Answer 4

You cant expect him to consider you when it comes to porn, i mean he should rub your face in it, but seriously i think its you that needs to consider the reasons why he watches it, and that its something seperate from you. At the end of the day if you two arnt compatible in your sexual needs and expectations then its not gona work out, but theres nothing wrong with what he's doing, and dont listen to these uptight people who say theres anything wrong with enjoying porn. I have a fullfilling loving relationship with a good sex life, but i still watch a good amount of porn, its just part of what i like. I was talking to some of my friend the other day about this and they all agree that it helps them relax and control the hormones that a rushing around young guys bodies.

Answer 5

Just about every guy on the planet likes porn. That does not mean it's ok to go buck wild. You have very rational feelings about it. When it's an all the time thing it's not healthy for you, him, ot the relationship.

You have told him how it bothers you. You have even told him it's ok in smaller doses, and he has paid no heed. He is disrespecting you. Not because it's porn, but because this is something he can control and he has chosen it over you.

Obviously he's not going to show any concern toward your feelings. It's time to get out of the relationship. If this is his idea of being a loving and caring bf then move on to someone who knows what that means.

Answer 6

reason 1 he may be looking at porn:
he has an unfulfilled sexual fantasy that you guys havent satisfied yet and the only way to feel good is by looking at it
Solution:take a peek at what he looks while hes not aware of it , and talk about with him whether he wants to do it , but didnt have the guts to tell you
Reason #2 he may be addicted , seek help here on the internet theres tons of sites for this
remember that a relationship is about helping each other out instead of escaping at the first mistake

Answer 7

porn is an addiction, just like any drug or activity like gambling, shopping, etc. that causes the adreniline rush that affects other chemicals in the brain.

an addict goes from being a sincere, warm hearted and honest person to someone who is only focused on his next high. everything he does he does in order to get his drug, and a time and place to use it.

when a man watches football he subconsciously places himself on the field and imagines that he has the attributes of the star athlete he's watching and that the audience is cheering for him, along with the cheerleaders. when a man watches porn, the same thing occurs. the women in the movies have no true human qualities, they are simple, easy to please and want only him. your man watches them and wishes you could be more like them, without a personality, without needs of your own, simple, easy to satisfy, and always available.

I bet he doesn't think he's addicted to porn, but will hide it, lie about it, spend too much on it, and use it to deal with his problems. I can also guarantee it that he will begin to rely on porn in order to complete sex with you.

get out now while you still have some dignity, and until he gets help, but don't expect him to get help for a problem he doesn't know he has

take care of yourself.

Answer 8

You don't say how old he is, my guess is he will most likely grow out of it. Its a bit of a juvenile thing in most cases. The other thing, do you ever fancy someone you cannot have ? Robbie Williams, John Bon Jovi etc. these are things that make the world go round, fantasizing is just that, and relatively harmless, he should be more discreet though !

Answer 9

Your boyfriend is the kind of guy who would rather live in the fantasy of his nasty movies and he's selfish to boot because if he cared about you he would not continue to knowingly make you feel so badly about yourself. Do yourself a favor and find a guy who likes to live in the real world. Us females tend to internalize everything so you are feeling like there is something wrong with you because he is so into the fantasy of porn, but let me share some knowledge with you. Your wrong. You are not the problem; he is and he is the one with a problem who cannot deal with his own self doubts. Porno is not a bad thing, but just like everything too much is a problem and when you are in a relationship you should both be enjoying what your doing. Find someone new and be happy. Leave him with his hand and his videos.

Answer 10

honestly porn shouldn't bother you. it's when you want to be sexual with him and he would rather watch porn are he isn't interested that it should be a problem. if he is doing it all day everyday then it's a problem also. i don't own any porn but i will watch it. i don't watch it often it maybe like a every once in a while you know. i hope it works out.