How do you handle someone that just talks about how terrible their life is?

Question

When it's really not example;

Complains about how mother is charging her rent. She's 39 living with her mother!

my response,"I don't have advise, I've been paying rent since I was 18"

is there a nicer way to deal with these people??

I ask,"How are you doing?" in the morning and I (regret asking) get,"Oh terrible!!"

I think, WE all have problems..and we should just look at the positives and stop making everything negative..
I'd hate to be rude and say,"you know I have problems too but I don't bring them to work!"
She grew up in a nice neighborhood..
When she's in a bad mood she'll ignore you like it's your fault I honestly tried to be friendly but hey I'm getting ready to tell her off!! What is the proper way to deal with this?

My point she's a grown spoiled brat..and I see her every day (at work)

I have to deal with her.

Answer 1

I'd suggest cutting conversations short. I mean if youre at work you clearly have work to do. I don't respond at all. Literally, while she's talking I'll just look and sometimes even work on what I'm working on while she's talking and then if she tries to get my advice on something I'll just say "hmm I dont know." and just continue on what I'm doing. There's an art to doing this and not coming of rude which is important to learn. Good luck, I have an employee just like her except mine is a hypchandriac and she's had this knee pain for ever and the doctors have done everything and she's already convinced herself they'll never find anything. Once they fixed it and she purposely did something to screw it up again. These people sometimes just need an audience. Don't give it to her.

Answer 2

I try to ignore people who just complain and complain all day... and I mean l'll listen to their problems until I realize that they just have these petty little inconveniences.

Homework is a big example... I know people who b*tch all day about how they have homework in 3 subject, and how horrible it's going to be having to waste maybe 1 hour at the most doing little tiny assignments. And all I can say to them is... my workload is that of an ambitious college student, at least they're not losing sleep! Yeesh.

Answer 3

Okay, basically there are tons of these people around and I hate dealing with them too..since you tried to tell her you had no advice to help her and she still goes off about how hard she's got it..it's time to tell her off a little bit, sometimes being harsh is what you have to do to get to some people. For example, "I know you think your life is hard, but everyone has hardships and no one likes someone who walks around only thinking about themselves. If you want to complain then go to someone else, I'm tired of it." And walk away.

Answer 4

I had a freind like this and I eventually had to cut her out of my life, it was just too mentally draining. You don't have this option however. I think if I were you I would quit giving her the oportunity to go on and on and just keep it short and sweet with her. Talk about the good things that happen to you and she will probably want to quit talking to you because she is unable to suck you into her drama.

Answer 5

My brother is like this too.

I give me some tough love and tell him very bluntly that he needs to seek professional help then bringing his problems to other people.
Sometimes there are programs offered in work health coverage that allows employees to call and speak with someone when they need to. If this program is available have her call.

Answer 6

This can be handled several ways. During a rant, you can let your eyes close and start snoring. OR, you can say"I'd ask you how youre doing but I dont want you to bring me down, im feeling good right now...", or there's the yada, yada, yada when she starts complaining.......

Answer 7

This person is making a cry for attention. It sounds like she's lonely and just needs a little validation. Give it to her. Don't necessarily give attention when she does or says things that you don't like, but just pay attention to her.

Answer 8

im inclined to avoid people who constantly reek of negativity. i dont find it in the slightest bit fun, uplifting, worthwhile, etc. its a waste of my time to listen to such s.hit cause im sure there are zillions of people with REAL problems like try not even having a place to pay rent on, even if it IS with your mother. when such a person insists on getting in my face with that, i ask 'got anything GOOD to say? if not, thanks for keeping it moving....byby!!!'

Answer 9

I would like to know the same thing, because my co-worker is that way and it's starting to annoy me. I know that it helps to talk about your problems, but damn...

Answer 10

It is one thing to sympathize with your friends, it is another thing to allow them to bring you down. Misery loves company and they are draining you dry. Allow someone else to attend their pity party.