need advice about my wifes panic attacks?

Question

it's a long story, but my 23 year old wife is bipolar. she used to have really bad panic attacks 5 years ago. she is on two different medications for it. the past year has been filled with stress and money problems for us. she has lost a ton of weight and she doesn't look heathly to me or others. the other night she was panicking so bad she was sick to her stomach 20 times. this was normal for her years ago, but hasn't happened in along time. im very worried about her and i don't know what to do ? im starting to worry that she may not be taking her meds, because she lost her medicade and the pill refills are expensive. you can just tell in her face shes panicking all the time, and shes pale and always tired. i just don't know what to do to help her and im wondering if i should talk to her mom and dad and see if we can all get together for an intervention of sorts ? any advice or opinions on this would be welcome. we don't have a ton of money and we have no insurance to see a doctor.

i don't want to get into graphic details of our situation, but it's been a stressful 7months for our entire family. but she is the only one with bipolar, so it affects her worse than the rest of us. i think im gonna call her mom tonight and see what we can do. im mostly worried about the weight loss and how tired she always is. i have a feeling that shes not taking her meds. she has plenty of them, but i think shes afraid when she runs out of them she won't be able to refill the scripts. we were on state assistance, they kicked us off because they say we make too much. thats a load of bull because between the both of us working , we only make under $30,000 a year and were always broke due to bills and such. i don't know where to turn, but i agree she needs to talk to someone and quick.

Answer 1

OK, the first thing your wife has to do is understand that SHE controls her panic attacks. They do not control her. It seems like the other way around, but that is not the case. Your wife's fear and negative thoughts are what is causing them. She needs to go out and get every book on the subject that she can and learn every thing there is to know about what is going on inside her head and what is causing these panicky symptoms. Once she figures out what is making all of these feelings happen, she will start to fear it less and it will eventually get better. Your wife's brain is just really sensitized right now. It is as if the alarm system in her brain, that normally should only go off in a dangerous situation, is malfunctioning and it is going off at anything. So she feels scared all the time. She has got to educate herself about this and learn that only she can make herself better.

Basically she just has to quit caring about it. You can't fear something that you don't care about. When she starts feeling panicky, instead of her sitting there vomiting, she needs to start reading a book, watching a movie, and she needs to keep saying to herself "I don't care. This isn't real." She needs to stop thinking negative thoughts all the time and replace them with positive thoughts......even if she doesn't believe what she is saying. Her mind is in a horrible cycle right now that she has to break out of. It takes a long time to break this cycle, but if she works at it, she can do it.

It took me 2 years to completely recover from my panic attacks. I had them so bad I couldn't go to work or drive or eat in a restaurant. I was a prisoner. But I learned so much about them that I quit fearing them and now I haven't had one in ages. If I start to get palpitations or panicky thoughts, I just say "Who cares?" and then they go away. It is all in my head. I used to go "oh my god! what is going on here?!" and worry myself sick. But no more. And your wife can get there too. I got over them without taking one single pill.

There is also a great website called anxietybusters.com. They have a wonderful free message board and they also have some tapes that sell for a couple hundred bucks. I purchased the tapes and it was literally the best 200 bucks I have ever spent. But even if you don't have the money to spend on that, there is a doctor that offers free support on the message board.

Best of luck to your wife. She can email me anytime at [e-mail]. I have been through what she is going through and made it to the other side, so maybe I can be of help to her.

Answer 2

My Dad is bipolar and doesn't take his meds either. Bipolar people actually dont like their meds because they bring them down from a natural high they get from being bipolar.My Dad drinks a lot which calms him down but obviously creates another problem--hes a full blown alcholic. An intervention might help as we have done in the past,sometimes it only works temporarily as they slip back to their old ways--I wish I could seem more positive, but my Dad has a bad case of it. Maybe your wife has a lesser degree and there is more hope for you. I have met 4 people that are bipolar, and they all have some similarities. There must be somewhere where you can learn more about help--try Doctor co.uk--wishing the best for you.

Answer 3

Panic attacks are serious so I feel for you. Stress always brings on more. She needs to see a doctor and get meds. Do you have any free clinics or can she be covered by the state? She really needs help and I do understand how she feels. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I have to deal with it also. Good luck!

Answer 4

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 5

I used to have a terrible time with panic attacks. I highly recommend the book at:

http://www.PanicBook.com

It helped me tremendously. The site has some great info on it. I don't get panic attacks anymore and what I learned in that book was the major reason.

Answer 6

Been there. Its a tough road.

I would say, however, that this will cost you more in the long run than seeing a doctor would.

Unfortunately, over time some of these medications can lose their effectiveness and it may take awhile to find the right combination of other meds that work. People have been known to kill themselves during this interval.

And yes, she may have stopped taking them due to their cost.

If she says that she is taking them, tell her that you love her and you want to see her do it. "You can resent it all you like, but your life is more important to me then whether or not you resent it."

If there's no money for the pills and/or doctor, I suggest you do talk to your parents and hers.

This one's nasty and dangerous. Don't let it linger.

Answer 7

I started getting panick attacks 2 years ago. now i'm hesitant to answer because i'm no where near as bad as your wife but my girlfriend tought me this trick and it works for me. First take a deep breath and hold it for 3 seconds then release the breath and 3 short bursts repeat this and usually you will calm down. Anyways hope this is some help. good luck.

Answer 8

Yes for sure get parents involved. Between all of you maybe a solution can be found. And there are ways to get help with doctors and meds. You just have to do some calling to see what you qualify for. Stay on the phone until you find some help. She is miserable and can be dangerous to herself or her children (if there are any) And I know you can't been happy.

Answer 9

get her to a mental health professional, and request samples of some kind of mood stabilizer.. there are new drugs out there that do not incapacitate people like the older class of drugs like lithium and geodon..

if she can get samples then the doctor is obligated to continue to medicate her with the samples until you guys can afford to get the meds by some other means..

she also need to understand that the attacks are brought on by anxiety.. anxiety is a disease of "what if".. "what if this happens" or "what if that happens".. she is much too concerned about things that in reality will probably never happen.. once you understand that(both of you) that, then if much easier to be able to calm her nerves.. you must be able to understand where she "is", and help her understand that is about "what if"..

Answer 10

just tell her to let them happen andnot fight them. to just give in and accept them. to tell herself when she feels like she is gonna die to just calmly give in and say to herself 'ok just die if that is whats gonna happen just die' after she does this time after time she will enventually get to the point that her body and mind realize nothing is going to happen to her and she will be free of the 'panic bully'