what do you do for someone that talks about wanting to die?

Question

He is in constant pain evey day. He will not talk to a professional about this. I have thought about contacting his medical doctor. Do you think he will listen to me? Is there any more I can do. It is to the point that I dont want to be around him, I know this is wrong, but what can I do? Please help.

he says something about wanting to die every time I am around him.

please, I am serious, and the man is my father. He suffers from severe arthritis. I am not the only one he tells that he want to die.

Answer 1

He needs to find a cure no matter what and then find happiness in life once again - I am in the same situation, the only thing that keeps me going is constantly trying to find answers to my health problems and occupying my mind so as not to get depressed (i.e. yahoo answers!).
When you are in pain and your life style is severely crippled by such, you begin to regret your existence because you cannot achieve anything humans should be able to (job, ambitions, love e.t.c.), you are left with no other options but death - he probably doesn't want to die really, its just his situation has got to the point where he no longer sees any other option as he has lost hope, this may have taken years to happen - thats what its like for me, I hope I've got the right end of the stick here, he's not just an emo is he?

Force him to get out and enjoy the moments he can if its at all possible, I know any good moments help me a lot.

As for people mentioning religion, I have a faith, but god isn't going to miracle away his pains, he needs real answers for goodness sake!

Answer 2

You listen, and you tell someone close to him or responsible for him about it at once. If he has no responsible party, call his doctor. And don't let him make you feel guilty--you will probably save his life, and he will thank you someday.

Edit: Have his doctor refer him to a pain management clinic. They will give him something strong enough to help him live with arthritis. He may also need an antidepressant. Has he ever been seen by a rheumatologist? There are several new medications to treat rhematoid arthritis, such as Humira and Enbrel I think. Anyway, don't just let him keep talking like this. Take action.

Answer 3

First, you ask him outright, "Are you thinking of committing suicide?" Look him right in the eye and ask him. Asking this will not "plant the idea in his mind" so don't worry about that. But it will let him know you are serious and concerned. If he says yes, then call a suicide hotline or 9-1-1 immediately and get him some help.

Look, he's talking about it all the time. If he ever does follow through, you're going to be stuck with a tremendous burden of guilt because you'll wonder if there was something you could've done. And yes, it's a drain to be around him now.

Here's the deal, ask him outright if he's thinking of committing suicide. If he says yes, you already know what to do. IF he says no, then tell him, straight-up, that if he mentions suicide, death, wanting to die, or anything along those lines ever again, that you will call the professionals and get him some help. This is not a threat, this is letting him know that you care about him enough to take his comments seriously and get him some help.
You will not "drive" him to do anything by taking a firm stand. But you are protecting yourself and your emotions, and you're letting him know you hear him and you care, and that you will take action if necessary.

In the meantime, yes, definately contact his medical doctor and fill the doc in on what's going on. Also, find phone numbers for the local suicide hotline and post them where your friend can find them easily (like on the fridge). Tell him that if he ever feels like he might harm himself he's to call 9-1-1 or the suicide hotline immediately.

One final note: on the off chance that he's simply talking all this death stuff to get attention, he'll knock it off real quick once he knows you're DEAD SERIOUS about calling 9-1-1.

If he gets mad at you, tough poo-poo. Don't you let the fact that he might get mad intimidate you. You do what you have to to protect him, yourself, and also to protect your emotions from having to deal with the guilt you would live with the rest of YOUR life if he actually DID do something.

Best wishes, I hope this helps.

Answer 4

Most definitely a cry for help...any discussion about suicide needs to be taken seriously even if it is just being used as an attention getter. you could even take him to a hospital (emergency room) it might be effective if you even tell him that you want to meet a friend in the hospital. I don't condone lying so I don't know how you will convince him to go with you. if you tell him its for him you could make him run the other way. Do his parents know have u talked to his parents? I had to physically drag a family member into the doctor for help....they were admitted a year ago to a hospital for other issues they are still there.so I know how it feels to want to help someone, but it is best for a professional in these cases. Call a local hospital for advice, or even your doctor. but first step go to his parents. just know it could put a damper on your friendship but to me that risk is worth possibly saving someones life. True friendship is about being there through the good and bad times ;)

Answer 5

He may be saying this because he wants attention, but usually thats not the case and its much more serious! He is probably depressed for some reason. You need to contact a suicide hot line or a psychiatrist for him. Even if he says that he doesnt want help, it is up to you to get some. Because youre his friend you should be there.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

You don't give very much information. Why is he in pain everyday? Is it a new feeling or has he been speaking of death for years? Does he say it in frustration, or just mater-of-factual, like: I wish I lived in Florida ( it's cold here)? You should be discussing this with someone else that knows him...if their is no one else, that may be a big part of his problem. A therapy group for his illness may be the answer, and you'll probably have to take him to get him interested.

Answer 7

Suggest that he go to a pain management specialist. Ask him why he chooses to exist in pain? Pray for him, pray with him. Be kind to him when you see him. And if it gets too be to much for you to be around him, tell him that you are still alive and don't feel comfortable hanging around in the land of the living dead with him. Tell him you care about him, but it's too much hear him talking of leaving all the time. Explore ethnogens, there are many natural plants and fungi which can help with pain and possibly the underlying condition, and are not regulated by the FDA. Bottom line is you can only help someone if they allow you to. The choice to live is ultimately his, help him by providing him options and support.

Answer 8

This is difficult. A friend of mine had this problem with her son, and now he is dead as a result of suicide (He had PTSD).
I guess if you know who his doctor is, you can call him and see what he says. If he doesn't have any ideas, call a local mental health clinic and see what they suggest.
Committing someone is hard, as it should be. Since we don't want to give just anyone the power to commit anyone, but it is important that you do everything in your power to get him to accept some help. You don't want to go to his funeral, and you really don't want to go to his funeral knowing that you might have made a phone call, and didn't.

Answer 9

If you can contact his doctor, then yes, I think he would listen. What about his family, can you tell them? Is he young enough that you can talk to someone at his school? You can call a suicide hotline and get their advice also - or would your friend talk to them?

You are a good, caring friend. He's so lucky to have you in his life.

Answer 10

Listen to him and talk to him!! Tell him you care and you are here for him everyday if he needs you.- My neighbor used to tell her boyfriend she wanted to die just about everyday. He never took her serious, then one night she told him that and never showed up to work the next day. He went to go see why she didn't show up and he found her dead in her bed. (She overdosed on sleeping pills) She had 3 kids and everything in life going for her but she just didn't see it. Please don't give up on him, he sounds like he really needs you right now. Call his doctor and do whatever you have to do. Take him seriously!!