A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceed to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp it.
2. There are 10 Commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 Disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6. We do not refer to Jesus as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10. We do not refer to the Cross as the Big T!
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat Me".
12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as, "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The reccommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah God!"
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
2007-11-17 06:28:55 · 8 answers · asked by Cathleen 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Lmao...
What a corker..
Top marks*
2007-11-17 07:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by DINGLE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah!! and there was this priest who had a little farm with hens and cocks. one fine day the koks fled the farm and the priest was so worried that he wanted to alert his fellows from the pulpit, but got a little confused:-
his first question was:- who has a kokk? and all the men stood up.
shocked with this the pries changed his question:- who has ever seen a kokk? and all the women stood up.
embarassed as ever the priest said :- this is not what I meant.... who has ever seen my cokk? and it was then that the altar boys stood up......the priest fainted..
2007-11-17 06:38:25 · answer #2 · answered by ville009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! Ha Ha! 10!
2007-11-17 12:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2007-11-17 06:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by .... 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Very funny! I loved this! lol Good one.
2007-11-17 07:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny
2007-11-17 06:38:00 · answer #6 · answered by dennis747 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol
2007-11-17 06:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Class
lol :)
2007-11-17 06:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Moooo! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋