He used to be very calm, smart, affectionate and collected. It seems though as the years go on he gets worse and worse. It's really starting to worry me because mental health runs extremely strong in his family, his great grandfather was mentally ill, his grandfather killed himself, and his father is in a mental hospital for schizophrenia. Now he flies off the handle very easily. When he is upset he doesn't leave me alone and keeps aggravating me until I'm bawling. I will even beg for him to leave me be for a while but he will back me into a corner and scream and scream, he never used to do that. But it's extremely odd, once he calms down, it's within a matter of minutes that he's cracking jokes and trying to be affectionate, when i'm still hurting like hell. I've been walking on eggshells with him trying not to set him off. He's impulsive and even the sentence "can that wait until after our bills?" will drive him mad no matter how calmly i say it. whats going on here???
2007-11-17 05:25:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Sounds like the behavior of someone under a lot of stress, maybe at work? He may be suffering from a chemical inbalance?
You may or may not need a shrink but I'd at least try a family counselor. That might be easier to talk him into since you would be offering to go with him as an equal partner in the difficulties.
If this doesn't help, see the doc about some tests and maybe some drugs. Drugs are always the last choice in my opinion.
Best of luck!
2007-11-17 05:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Pragmatism Please 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems as though your husband may have some serious issues. The best way to deal with things would be to leave the house for a while. Go on a vacation without him. When you tell him, make sure you have a family member, friend, or someone with you. He may have something called bipolar disorder. It sounds as though you both just need a break for a few days. When you're gone, he'll realize how much he's hurting you and hopefully change his ways. If that doesn't work, you need to get some medical help for him. I would suggest the doctor run some tests on his brain, and other tests to diagnose the issue.
2007-11-17 13:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
--Thank you so much for including the family history.
--It is also important that you have mentioned that the abusive behavior is a new development.
--There is also significance to his mood reversal so quickly following the outbursts
These observations can help lead a psychiatrist down the right path to identify your husband's problem. It is a psychiatrist he needs to see, a medical doctor MD who specializes in the brain function and behavior of a patient.
Use a notebook or calendar to document the occurrance of his odd behaviors. If you can uncover a pattern to it, this will be imensely helpful to the Dr. Try also, to include what foods or environmental changes or activities he is doing just before and just after the outbursts. Then insist on going to his appointments with him. If you will refer to the issue as a "we" problem rather than "his" problem, it may make getting him there and through what is necessary to be less of a problem for him.
Abusive situations - your safety has to be #1. If he is backing you into a corner, that corner needs to be the front door where you can escape to safety.
Keep in mind that he IS AN ADULT. He has to be responsible for his own behavior -- and live with the consequences.
2007-11-17 13:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he could just be a 'contrary' person.
But considering his medical history in terms of his family, it would not be unreasonable to suspect bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. His actions fit both disorders.
But, I am not a psychiatrist. And that is the only person who can give a definitive diagnosis.
I know that horrible feeling of walking on eggshells. I had to do that when my husband was an alcoholic. I'd never know what mood he'd be in. It was awful. Thank God, that's over.
Does your husband drink perchance? That would also effect his moody behavior.
Your best bet is to get him to a psychiatrist. Approach the subject when he is calm and in a logical frame of mind. Otherwise, he'll be defensive and no good will come from it.
Good luck.
2007-11-17 13:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs an evaluation first by his family physician to make sure there is nothing biochemically wrong with him. After that comes back normal (or not) then you need to ask for a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your family doctor can also get him started on medications to even out his mood and the psychologist or psychiatrist can monitor his response and increase the doses as needed in addition to counseling. I would suspect he is going down the same road as his relatives (this can run in families) but with medication and counseling, the outcome can be completely different than theirs.
2007-11-17 13:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by J B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BPD would have already shown up before now, so it can't be that. But given the family history, I would try to catch him in a good mood to go to a psychiatrist. And I mean psychiatrist, normally I say they're not necessary, but in this case I think it is. If you fear for your own safety, I would go to a friend's house or shelter, and maybe, if he sees you in a shelter, that you're that afraid of him, maybe he'll be more conducive to seeing someone. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but if he refuses and it gets worse, you may just have to leave. And I don't condone divorce, but to keep you safe, it may be necessary. Please take care of yourself above all.
2007-11-17 13:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly420☮ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow the other people's advice, and I notice that nobody seems to have mentioned the Al-anon Program, which is the same as AA, but for wives/husbands and friends who are living with 'difficult' people, - mainly drinkers and drugges of course.
I attend Alanon and have for 12 years. I ahve been able to change MY behaviour so that I am able to live in the same house as my S.O., who is a recovering alcoholic with Asberger's syndrome.
2007-11-17 14:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds bi-polar. He needs to seek treatment & it sounds like you could be in danger. Leave with a note telling him to get help. I truly think he doesn't mean to do it. Typical of ups & downs associated with bi-polar disorder.
2007-11-17 13:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by TUESDAYSUX 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He seems to have some impulse control problems. I dont know what all is going on in your lfe and his, but it could be stress related and that is something that responds well to counseling and support groups.
2007-11-17 13:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by petra 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs help and you had better stand your ground and demand that he get it or else....
2007-11-17 13:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋