how to ask if she has a BF without risking friendship?

Question

there's a girl in one of my college classes that i've grown to really like since the start of the year. We sit beside each other, talk about everything, she invited me to her place for a party a month ago and even let me spend the night there (not in a funny way), we help each other alot with assignments, and we've had coffee together but that was while helping me with an assignment. We are becoming good friends atleast. But i'm not sure if she's pursuing anything more than friendship. Her Facebook says that she's in a relationship but she never says anything about a bf. But someone did leave a comment asking her about how things with her and the bf were going; it seems that he may be far away. This bf's name is also tagged in her profile pic and i think there is some implication in her msn screen name. But has she not said anything about him b/c she thinks i only want to be friends OR b/c she doesn't want me to know about him yet?? I want to get closer to her BUT....

i don't want to risk both relationship and friendship by doing so. If she doesn't want a relationship then i will still want to be friends. And i don't want to seem desperate or akward. What do i do ??

ok. i figure she doesn't bring up the bf subject with me b/c either she thinks that it is irrelevant, that we are only friends, that she is unsure how she may want to progress with me. i dunno

k with the MSN thing. her screename includes her "suspected" bf's name, but it is also an akward screename i don't really understand anyways. Could i just ask her what her screename means and then she if she mentions "oh it's something do do with my bf". B/c even if i didn't supsect a bf, i never coud guess what the name means.

Answer 1

Ask point blank. "Are you seeing anyone". Its a common question so she wont be offended. And if she is and she says yeh blah blah blah. Dont change the subject because it will tell her you asked because your interested and it might make things awkward so just continue by saying something like "thats cool, how long have you been together, does he go to school here?, etc." Makes it sound like your actually interested about her life and not just HER persay.

Just to give you a little heads up though I would say 99% chance she has a bf if its on facebook, and in her profile pic and someone asking about her and her bf.

She could be the type to not bring up her bf with other guys. Sometimes guys just dont wanna hear it.

It wont ruin your friendship by asking, if anything it will make it stronger because she knows your interested in that part of her life and she can talk to you about things now that she couldnt before.

As far as kinda liking her goes. Just keep things the way they are. Keep hanging out and stuff and who knows maybe eventually she will want to be with you, or worst case scenario she wont and you just become BETTER friends.

Its a win win situation.

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

If she has never mentioned a bf to you, ask her if she would like to go see a movie with you, and maybe dinner after, if she mentions it then~~~~ Then you'll know and you can just say oh ok, I'm sorry I didn't realize you had a current relationship, but can we go just as friends? You can do things as friends and so often things like that can build into something stronger. If her boyfriend is real or not, this is one way to find out without sounding too forward. Also, you might ask her if she wants to have a night of LAUGHTER...... and ask if she would like to go to a local Karaoke bar and sing with you, it helps a person release stress with studies in a very fun way and this way you can see another side of her you haven't seen, it's a way to laugh together and maybe ask if she wants to do a duet, just enjoy another fun side of her. If she sees this side of you and likes the way you are, it will surface soon after. It also might be that she has no boyfriend at all and only posts that to avoid that closeness while in school or due to weirdos on that site. She may not even have a bf, and if she does, she will let you know in time if she starts to feel weird. Even a night of bowling as old as that may sound makes people LAUGH and become closer. It can be a way to become closer in a very fun way.

Answer 3

Quite the sticky wicket, but if you're going to act, you need to do it soon, before the window closes, and you're eternally deemed a "friend". Just think about a girl you've been just friends with for a long time. Do you want to start dating her now? Once you've been type cast, it's too late.

That said, if he doesn't come up in conversation, and he's never around, he's not strong competition. Make your move by inviting her out for drinks to blow off some steam, or to a student activitiy. Don't call it a date (There is a whole episode of Seinfeld that deals with this). Just kind of ease her into it and see what happens.

Answer 4

well it seems like you guys are good pretty good friends so you could just ask her i am sure she would talk to you about it, but if you dont want to do that. start a convo about your past relationships and then ask her like "yeah so what about you" and maybe she will just come out and say it "oh right now i am with the wonderful guy" or maybe " yeah i have a bf but i dont really know how long it will last" and if she says that you probably are gonna have alike a 2 hour conversation about why things arnt working out lol but at least you know.

Answer 5

JUST ASK!!!! Bring it up a slick way though, like talk about one of your buddies thats always fighting with his girlfriend is driving you nuts, then say "Im glad Im not in that kind of a relationship" or something, just totally give her a CHANCE to tell you. Maybe shes just wanting to be your friend, maybe shes confused, or maybe her and her bf are splitting up and she doesnt want to talk about it too much. Either way, if you guys get along, and you dont want to cross anylines if she is involved, the way I see it, your just being a good guy. Plus, you really have nothing to lose.

Answer 6

If she only wants to be friends why is she not being honest with you about her BF, if its only friendship then you don't usually hide things like that, unless she does want more so doesn't want to tell you in case it puts you off, but if the info is on her face book page then obviously its not a secret.
I think the best thing is to just come out and ask her, honesty is the best policy after all.

Answer 7

What is wrong with a friend asking another friend if they have a serious relationship? I made a female friend at the gym (I am a female) and asked her, do you have a boyfriend? So why can't a male friend ask a female friend if she does?

Then if she does not have a serious relationship, you can decide how to progress. Better informed than sorry you did not try.

Answer 8

You could tell her that you saw on face book that she had a BF and you could bring it up that way just say you never told me you had a BF. and ask her how that's going, or you could lie which i don't agree with but you could talk with her the next time that you see her and tell her that you got dumped by your GF that goes to another college, may that will open her up to talking about it. either way GL!!!

Answer 9

is a simple question, just ask her do u have a boy boy friend first, second u have to get to know if she will like u for something more than just a friend. ask her questions some time, like do u believe in friendship between men and female, see what she will say.. or like what do think about me.. but take it slowly don't move so fast... and try to be nice.

Answer 10

ask her about him. Say something like, "I've seen your boyfriend's name on facebook and msn and whatever...how come I've never seen him with you?" or "why don't you ever go on dates" or something but don't say it in an arrogant way at ALL. if she gives you a warning glance back off. it is possible that she's not attracted to you or that she thinks that you're coming on too fast. good luck...