my family found out that i might be gay on the internet and now i have to talk to them about it and i don't know where or how to start the conversation. i'm female and its hardest to bring up the subject with my mother.... and she seems to be waiting for me to come to her about it bacause she knew before i was told she knew. can anyone help?
2007-11-17 01:26:50 · 10 answers · asked by sassy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just sit down and talk to her. She's your mother and, going by what little information you gave, she loves you.
I have two daughters, ages 17 and 15. If either of them came to me and told me that they were gay, I wouldn't love them any less.
2007-11-17 01:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by wildfire6460 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, if she's waiting for you to tell her, then she already knows. And if that is the case, she's being sensative about it and will be understanding regarding the situation. If she wasn't understanding, she would have flown off the handle the minute she found out.
As far as how to bring up the conversation, do it in a setting that is comfortable. In the car, while making dinner, etc. The more formal you make it, the harder it is going to be. So if you keep it in a less tense environment, it opens the door to discussion, rather than an inquisition, which is what you want. As for your opener, simply say "Mom, I know what you read on the internet about my sexual preferences, and before this goes any further, I want you to know that it is true. Please don't judge me, I am your daughter, it's not a phase and I've always been this way". Then let the conversation go from there.
I wish you luck!
2007-11-17 01:59:47 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I notice that you keep saying "might be gay". Does that mean that you are still unsure? I think that you should tell your parents that this is a personal struggle, and that you need time to figure out things for yourself. Assure them that they will be the first to know. This is personal honey, and if you are not comfortable bringing up the subject with you parents then don't. If they come to you, tell them what you feel and be honest. It sounds like your mom is waiting for you, so at least she is not pressuring you.
2007-11-17 01:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jen N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would strongly suggest you find out if indeed you really are gay. If you really are then sit down with your mother and have a conversation about it. Don't feel like you mother will not love you anymore or look at you differently because she won't. It is hard for a mother to stop loving her child. She might turn to you and ask you if it was something she did or didn't do to you to make you like this. Parents tend to blame themselves for the way their kids turn out. Reasure your mom that it wasn't anything that she did. If your gay then your gay there really isn't anything you or your mother can do about it. Don't be shy or embarrassed about what you are, embrace it. The more you feel comfortable with it the better you mother is going to handle it. All mother want to change their children mainly after they come out with it. She even might want to belittle you or pick on you about it. Just know that this is the way that your mom or other siblings are dealing with it. It is going to be a long road but sooner or later they will come to grips with it. They might say to you that as long as you under my roof you will not bring another girl onto my house and disrespect me like that... I didn't raise you to be like this. That just means you mom is rebelling against it. She might even take it as far as You will not kiss a nother girl in front of me or anything like that. You will have respect for me and your father.
It is going to be ok. No I am not gay but I do have a gay friend that told her mom that she was gay about 2 years ago. and now her mom is okay with it. Yeah it took her sometime but now they all do things together, and her mom even tells her " janell you better not be looking at my butt, I can feel your eyes on me" But they joke about it. Give your mom some time and she will come around. But when you tell her make sure you tell her that just because you are the way you are, doesn't mean that she did something wrong. My friend disowned her mom for about 6 months, because she told her mom this " Mom why can't you acept me for me and not the person you want me to be"? That is when her mom work up and started to talk to her daughter again.. I hope I helped you out. I wish you good luck and stand your ground and when your momstarts to yell at you, just tell her that yelling at you isn't going to change the fact that I am gay, and I am not going to stand here and take it. God Bless you and I will be praying for you to have the strength to BE YOU!!!!!
2007-11-17 02:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by kandie w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a toddler that became raised from toddlers with 2 fathers or 2 mothers will learn how to call them the two mom or the two Dad, in line with probability Ma and mom or mom and Mommy, to distinguish. they gained't locate this extraordinary or unusual, till somebody factors it out, or maybe then, as youthful toddlers, they gained't experience unusual, their view of what's primary won't replace, they're going to easily locate it extraordinary that different each and every person is distinctive from them (not any different way around). As for who's the mum or who's the father on the applying, frequently situations, Father/criminal parent and mom/criminal parent is used, and who fills out which line is on the discretion of the couple.
2016-09-29 10:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in fact that you are gay then sit down with her and have a mature conversation about it. This is probably the hardest thing you will have to face with her, but it's better to get it out in the open so you don't have to live with this secret. Good luck to you!
2007-11-17 01:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peace and Blessings,
As a parent, we are not looking at how you tell us the things you have to say. Just do it. It may be nerve racking to have to sit down and tell a parent something that they might not agree with you on. My daughter is gay and I knew she was and that did not and does not change my love for her. If your mother already knows and is just waiting on you to tell her then I suggest you sit her down alone and away from everyone and just explain yourself to her. I personally ask my daughter and being we have a great understanding, she looked at me and told me YES. I don't agree with it but I respect her decision to like women. She knows this. I cannot speak for all parents, but nothing my daughter does or say will ever change my love for her at all.
I hope this was helpful to you.
Not judging just sharing my experiences with my daughter.
2007-11-17 01:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by real talk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with her when u 2 r alone.. just rember that u haven't done anything rong and its not ur fault! she is ur mom so she will understand... and also as she already knows she's probably not bringing it up as she is probably worried of upsetting you, talk to her.. just start by saying "you already no what i want to talk about mum, but we have to discuss it" etc etc or something along those lines.
x
2007-11-17 02:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by leftmy♥incali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,it'll be hard but guess what....thats what mothers do. listen to their children and accept them the way they are and loves them no matter what. she can cry..but i bet she loves you
2007-11-17 01:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom I am gay.
2007-11-17 01:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋