Generally I appreciate receiving a card more than a present on my birthday (or christmas). When I've put ALOT of thought into getting a good meaningful present for a friend is it wrong of me to be secretly a little offended/ungrateful that for my birthday I get what seems like something she probably had spare and wanted to get rid of and didn't even bother to wrap. I said thankyou and did mean it but I just would've appreciated equal effort.
2007-11-17 01:09:34 · 9 answers · asked by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I understand what you're saying. You're one of the rare people that it is really the thought that counts. For example, I bet you would appreciate something handmade much more than something bought from a store. I'm the same way, so I know what you mean.
You should still be grateful though. She could have completely forgotten about your birthday and not even wished you a happy one, much less give you a gift.
2007-11-17 01:43:28 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should always be grateful for a gift; you could have received nothing at all. Life is not a competition about who can give better, or equal gifts. It wouldn't be fair to compare people on that criterion, because different people come from different backgrounds.
In addition, I think it's inappropriate for people to try to equate a certain amount of money with the cost of a gift. Friendship is worth much more than any material thing.
A gift should be given with no expectation of return. Doing this is very rewarding.
I recommend the book "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman. This book has helped me understand issues like this.
2007-11-17 22:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always nice to get a present, but if I got something of one of my friends the way you did I would be sad. Not because I felt that he/she did not put any effort into it (as I think that with every present given there is some thought and effort behind it) but because it would make me feel as if he/she felt they HAD to give me something no matter what it was - even though they had no time, money or idea what to get.
2007-11-17 09:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Bibsy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the way that I see it your friend could have totally forgotten your birthday all together. At least you got something....surely it is better than nothing. Just appreciate the gesture, and whether you use the present or not it was given to you by a friend....not your enemy
2007-11-18 09:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by Darkchild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's perfectly normal to be disappointed if you make a lot of effort and someone else doesn't, but it was your choice to go to such an effort.
Whilst you would of course have preferred an equal amount of effort you did at least get a present and that's how you should look at it.
2007-11-17 09:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by Plocket 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it`s the thought that counts.. She actually thought about you.. Maybe she doen`t fully understand how you tick but at least she did make an effort to show you that she does care, and does think about you.
Be truely thankful, there are many in the world who get nothing, not even a word..!!
2007-11-17 09:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Terry M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend cannot predict your feelings in response to the gift she gives you.
I'm sorry you are disappointed, but you should be grateful that you received recognition of your birthday at all.
Many people do not receive anything for their birthday.
2007-11-17 09:16:39 · answer #7 · answered by teach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may not have disposable money but she may have given you something of hers that she cared about.
Friends do not keep count! Be grateful for having a friend, gift of no gift. True friends can be with you all of your life--which is the greatest gift of all.
2007-11-18 02:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Bromeliad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you value her freindship more than she values you? she should have made more effort but perhaps she had other things on her mind and didnt have time, birthdays are only a day
2007-11-17 09:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋