why do people feel they have nothing to live for?

Question

So many of my friends are depressed. And I don't mean they are just sad or pessimistic, I mean they are clinically depressed and taking medication and getting therapy. The thing is, they have totally valid reasons for being depressed. Dysfunctional childhoods, family suicides, abusive lovers, health problems, unstable parenst, etc. It seems like they can never get the love and care that they need. I care about my friends a lot, but I alone can't love them as much as they need. I don't know how to help them feel better. They all want to die, and I don't know what to tell them. I know the first step in getting better and finding the love you need is learning to love yourself, but how can people love themselves when no one else seems to love them?

The people I'm talking about are in their 20s, if that makes a difference.

Answer 1

Love can't cure clinical depression. I am very loved and I love myself, but I still need my antidepressants to function. It's a chemical disorder, not just a circumstantial issue.

Answer 2

I'm in my 20's so I know exactly how this feels, fortunately I went through my crisis very early on. And the best medication for me was travel, and this doesn't have to be getting on a plane and going to Europe but simply getting out of my house. Getting on a train ever weekend or so and picking a random spot and just exploring.

Everyone hits road blocks that seem impossible but it does get better, things change, it's all about action! If we don't move then our scenery won't change.

Maybe getting your friends together for a road trip may help? Or just doing something active together, something to take their mind off of their problems - nothing involving alcohol or a controlled substance of any kind.
Just leaving their home/ negative space can honestly make things better, even if it's for a day, a week etc.

I wish I could give your friends a hug and tell them that things get better, they do. You will always have a challenge to deal with in life but it's worth it once you discover all the good that makes life worth living.

I can't tell you how much self love is important.
It's hard to hear but you can't get anywhere without loving yourself first. That's where depression starts.

Don't know what else to say accept my thoughts are with your friends.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

I have autism and suffer from depression as a result. I have one person who loves me amongst the many who reject me basically out of ignorance. I have gone through very much with drug and talk therapy for over a decade. I hit a 2 year rapid progression point where I literally went from being homebound to going almost everywhere. In a matter of months that was taken away. All the love from the only person I have in the world cannot hide the fact that everything I am doing (and what I have available to me in terms of financial [limited], and emotional support), isn't working. I'm existing in my home. My brain and youth are going to waste. Nobody including me seems to be able to re-open the door. Death definitely seems like an option and is one that I have tried many times. Sometimes there is no breaking through either way.

Answer 4

It doesn't make a difference of the age or the year or the era or the drugs! Loving yourself is something I have never mastered. I have never taken perscription drugs for it tho. I have to say like another answerer tho, it is a very hard world or excuse me life. The world is doing nothing to us like we r 2 her. N E Ways, I thought I would answer this with a 40 yr old wish 2 b gone. U need to understand there R those around us that care for us waaaaaaaay more than we care about ourselves. FOREVER!!!(WHAT EVER) Also U as a friend 2 tha (wise) those of us that do not want to be here, need to see that we do have many reasons well away from family friends tradgedy death homlessness war in the middle east for GOD sake that we want to get outta here. JESUS it is a travisty to b here on this doomed planet. But< Of course, that (but) is trying to erase all I just said,.....BUT, There is not a whole lot to die 4 either. ONCE DEAD we will have 2 wait for the rest of the STOOOOOOOOPID humans 2 catch up and then we can finally face all of our religeous endings and then live eternal or fated. U C MY PIONT? Either way we gotta wait through the dirt, grime and, unrelaxed eternal till it is done. Wait in the crap or wait in the dirt. Might as well wait in the crap with those that you can throw it at, and move before it is thrown back at U.... THEN LAUGH!!

Answer 5

I would like to sum up the 5 answers that have been posted so far. Most stressed the need for self love. It is true you need to love yourself before you can love others. But self love can be overdone and I think is overstressed in modern society; You can get into a state where you love your self to the exclusion of others. Suicide can be an extreme form of self love where you love yourself so much you hate everything else about life.

It has been my experience that it is vital to life to know for a certainty that one is loved by someone and that you can reliably love that other in return. It is also vital to life that one have an occupation that challenges ones mind and body in a rewarding way; that one have something to do with mind and body that is satisfying. And thirdly that one have sufficient means to satisfy ones basic needs for life. Having these three things results in happiness. Lacking any one of them can lead to clinical depression and suicidal thinking or even acting.

Depression is due to a mindset; it is not a chemical imbalance. Science does not know enough about the human brain in order to say that it is. I give as a source for this statement a reference for a book:

John Horgan; "The Undiscovered Mind. how the human brain defies replication, medication and explanation."; The Free Press, N. Y. NY, 1999

Why in our modern US society, where we presumably have one of the "highest standards of living" in the world, depression and the suicide of the young has reached seeming epidemic levels is debateable. But if you can find the reasons that the above three things are lacking in our young I think you will have its cause.

Good luck in your research, good mental health, peace and Love!

Answer 6

i'm in exactly the same shoes as your friends and it would be nice to have a friend like you. i've been depress for many years and keep thinking i can get over this and it just doesn't happen. i just don't feel right, but i want to force myself to. If i don't get better it's my fault because i haven't tried hard enough, and maybe i can't self will myself out of depression.

like i feel like crap now. it's another day for me and i just can't get out of the depression.

I wish i had enough money to just allow myself to sleep daydream and eat well. perhaps try something new. i don't have any energy to fullfill any ambitions. not only that but that feeling of desire i don't even have alot of times.

Answer 7

It's not really the easiest of worlds to live in. I kinda of like to think that death brings about a better existance. As for your friends and others of us that have had continual lack of true love, its a big burden to rise above. You sound like a very decent person and your friends are lucky to have you.

Answer 8

when i was 31, i was depressed severely for 6 years after my dad died. most of my friends abandon me. i guest they just couldn't handle it, or i depressed them too much. just be there, find things to keep them busy like puzzles, crosswords, card games, picnic on the beach, lake, or park, etc. the mind has to keep busy. walks, and sunshine help too. plant flowers or seeds in flower pots, or the garden. get a good book to for every one to read as a group, pass it to each other after every 4 or 5 pages. funny movies, or comedy of any kind. laughter is a good medicine. be creative with each persons interest, along with yours. good luck to you. i wish i had more friends like you when i was depressed. maybe it wouldn't of taken me 6 years to recover from it.

Answer 9

Simple: They don't have a sense of SELF-WORTH. Just focus on that.