How to cope with death after having some time?

Question

i have so much anger within me and i cry all the time mourning the death of my mother. its getting impossible at times. at first i was ok because i knew she was relieved from the pain but now i just miss her and feel scared and empty and helpless. i feel every1 understands what im going through but noone does and i feel i am being annoying to people around me and i know i will always feel this pain and maybe it will be less but right now its really bad.

Answer 1

Seek counselling or support groups, as you are not the only person to experience this. Anger is definately part of the grieving process and completely understandable.

Try some coping strategies that may have worked for you in the past if you have faced previous traumatic circumstances before (for example, running..art, etc). Try to network and use friends as a support.

Answer 2

Many questions here.

First - let me say I'm sorry you lost your mom.

It's good to let your feelings out to others. This is a safe venue for that. But you also need to relate to the others in your life just how the emptiness is causing you pain. I've lost my father and both my father and mother -in-law. I was closer with my father-in-law than my father, although both were close to me. It helps that there were no secrets, no un-said words between my father and I before he died. I have learned from that and have made sure that my still-living mother and I have no unfinished business.

Now the insane part. I miss my dog of 16 years more than any person I have lost. Interesting! It's not a painful "missing" but the sort of missing that your tongue does when you lose a tooth. The tooth that you never noticed has now become gigantic in its absence.

Time will help - but use the pain to make your other relationships better. Good luck.

Answer 3

It takes a long time to start to feel anything close to normal after a loss like that. It is okay to cry. Find people to talk to and if everyone is having a hard time listening, consider a grief support group. It helped me. The way I saw I was doing better was looking back to how I was 2 months, 6 months, then a year later. I notices that I less and less down times and I became more interested in others and how they were doing.

Answer 4

aw I"m sooooo sorry about your loss :( bless your heart. That is such a hard thing to deal with no matter how strong of a person you are. I wish I could take away your pain. my best friend lost her mother to cancer and it was the worst thing ever. I could never ever imagine losing my mother. you just need to remember she is relieved of the pain now. and know that she is with you in spirit and will always be watching over you and she is your gaurdian angel. everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand those reasons, ( we will someday ) its so hard. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. life can be so horrible at times where you don't even want to live cuz the pain is so bad. I wish life was easy and everyone was happy and not suffering. time will ease the pain. you will always love, miss and hurt over her passing but it will eventually start to get easier, I know it feels immpossible right now, but eventually it will start to get easier. just remember she is here with you and you can talk to her anytime and pray to her. my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you get the strength to be stronger over this and be able to cope easier. god bless you

Answer 5

(((HUGS)))

I lost my grandma last year, and did not have time to grieve because the children we adopted moved in for good 4 days after her funeral.

There is no set period of time to grieve the loss of anyone, but it does get better...I have experienced LOTS of loss in my life (my family is older...mom had me late in life), and though the pain never goes away, it does decrease.

However, even today, I looked in my rear-view mirror while I was driving and got all choked up because a little lady was in a truck with 3 other little ladies and for one split second looked like my grandma and it was almost too much to bear.

That will happen, it's perfectly normal.

Give yourself an hour a day (or 10 or 15 minutes, whatever is comfortable) to grieve your loss. After that time period elapses, try not to keep going back over it.

Sometimes that is a good coping mechanism...when you can control when to grieve it can help you come to terms with it better.

Answer 6

I know how you feel. When did you lose your mother???? How old are you?? My mum was diagnosed with a rare kidney cancer in May this year. It was very aggressive she pasted away sept 7 after only a 4 month battle. She was 60.. I am the opposite to you (maybe still denial??) i find it hard to cry im just numb constantly. Email me we can chat. xx