my bf and i have been on and off cus i have problems with him, like not comforting me when i'm sad or mad. i told him if he wanted to be with me, he has got to change, but if he doesn't i want to break up. this is the last chance i'm going to give him, and if he screws it up, i do not want to be friends or bf/gf ever again, he is not allowed to talk to me ever,and he is to get out of my life for good!?
2007-11-16 17:24:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why??? i'm giving him a chance he want, and i want it too so ya why???
2007-11-16 17:29:21 · update #1
we can't be friends, my feels r going to be back up and i will be depress if were back
2007-11-16 17:30:23 · update #2
to xeno:
i do not put others into a test like that unless i let them practice before entering the game, that would be mean, and not to mention evil!
2007-11-16 17:43:05 · update #3
My mom always tells me that you can't expect to change for you. If they do, it's a sign of true love, but it can't be an expectation. All you can do is adjust to his behavior, which it sounds like you cannot.
You deserve to be happy and if he's not making you happy then you don't need to be with him.
2007-11-16 17:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, lets look at things from his perspective(it's amazing how often that's a good answer to questions in this category...)
So you're him.
You've been going out for a while now and you really like the person you're with. You enjoy hanging out with them, like talking to them, so on and so on...
There's one problem though, the person you're with expects you to be able to magically know exactly what to say and what to do whenever they happen to wind up in a bad mood. Maybe today they're angry, maybe their upset, maybe it's you, maybe it's not, maybe they want you there, maybe they just want space, you have no idea, but you're now being given an ultimatum.
Either you learn how to do exactly the right thing, or you are never allowed to talk to the person you like again. There will be no chances to reconnect, no hope of a friendship, and they will make sure you know that they are not talking to you.
You were pretty much told, "if [you] screw up, I don't want to be friends or bf/gf ever again." Hmmm... sounds like someone is already expecting you to fail.
Now do you see why this isn't fair. You're throwing him into a test that he either has to pass perfectly, or he loses you. On top of that, how long will this test last. I can easily see you going along and 6 moths from now when he slips up and isn't perfect, you bring up this again and there, he failed and now you're never speaking to him again.
If you set someone up to fail... don't be surprised when they do. And if you just want to use this as an excuse to break up...
Well that isn't very fair to put him through, now is it.
2007-11-17 01:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Xeno 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember people can't read your mind and you are living in a dream world there lady. You have too high of expectation of him to know all the signs of your body language and to be reassured. I assume you two are in your early teenage years. You two got a lot of growing up to do yet.
2007-11-17 01:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your instincts be your guide. To me it seems that it is exactly what you are doing. If he is only into himself and is not sensitive or comforting to you...then what good is he. Be strong and continue to be the "keeper" of your over all well being. Love yourself better than anyone else.
You deserve it!
2007-11-17 01:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you think u have problems with him but the fact is that you just have problems. Sorry Darling but that's the truth. It's also the best answer whether u like it or not.
2007-11-17 01:30:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have given him plenty of opportunities to change and he has not...you are blind. People don't change for someone else. They need change for themselves. I believe you should give someone 3 chances..no more.
2007-11-17 01:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by J G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are u complicating ur life so much? move on and find a guy who gives a damn...
best of luck!
=]
2007-11-17 01:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by blah... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think you should stay friends at least. otherwise it sounds fair.
2007-11-17 01:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by I have brains for tonsils 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope
2007-11-17 01:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by sally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-11-17 01:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋