the memories flood back, and I am often speechless. I still care for this girl, despite the fact that she broke up with me because she was "stessed." Stressed or not, I feel like there must have been another reason, despite the fact that we never argued or anything. Well, we barely spoke since that day, but I still see her occasionally. When I do, I get nervous. I want to tell her "I don't know what happened between us, but whatever did, I still care about you." I feel like time is slipping away, but at the same time, I don't know if telling her that would be the right thing for me or her. It's been 2.5 months since the break up, and even though I've moved on in some ways, I still really miss this girl. We occasionally have small conversations, but that's it. We've gone from a couple to barely acquaintances, and it's killing me inside.
2007-11-16 17:19:34 · 21 answers · asked by Ben 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My question, which was not exactly clearly written in the first part, is this: Since obviously I can't avoid this girl to shield the pain I'm having when seeing her (since we both go to the same college, which is very small), what can I do? Do I tell her I feel the way I do?
2007-11-16 17:25:20 · update #1
I mean, the whole thing is just really a conundrum. Every time I was with this girl, we had great times together. I could make her laugh hysterically, and she could make me laugh, too. I get the feeling, though, that since we were apart for the summer, she just forgot about me. I sent her a bunch of gifts over her birthday, even though I could feel like the relationship was becoming tenuous. We were seemingly only friends at that point, but since she told me "things were fine" when I asked her about how we were doing, I assumed we were doing fine. Apparently not.
2007-11-16 17:31:14 · update #2
I'd put it on the line and say what you "want to tell her" exactly as you stated in your question. Emphasis on the "what happened?" more than the "I still care". Don't say that part more than once!!!
"Stressed" is no doubt true, but it is a condition of life! It is also a way to break up without having to hurt someone's feelings specifically, or to justify oneself endlessly. But if you are seeking to understand rather than "argue", she'll pick that up in your tone of voice and perhaps you can at least have the closure you seek.
ADDED: Yes, I think " a bunch of gifts" was toooo much, given that things were tenuous.
2007-11-16 17:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound depressed. Talk more to your lover, Trust me. My Ex and I did that and he was shy too. But look at me now a baby on the way and everything because I MOVED on. The reason you broke up was a reason and that reason was why. Life is Life My sweet.
If she loves you that much Then she'll make her move. But sometimes it's a little hard to heal the pain and you always will find a way around it. She may want to move on.
If its hurting you that badly then share your feelings with a close friend , doctor or maybe even your loved ones. inculding this girl.
Your heart broken it will take time but you'll find your right girl.
GOOD LUCK
XX
2007-11-17 01:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem. But at the end it worked out. You have to be happy first. It sounds silly, but you seriousily do need to be. Maybe then you won't want her as bad and then again if you can be happy she'll see that. But tell her. She may or may not feel the same way but the only way to find out is to ask. It can't get any worse then what it is now. So tell her. But be happy and try to move on. Maybe you won't talk now but it may just take some time. It worked out well for me and I know we are completely differnt situations, but I found it to be that when I was happy with what was going on with myself. I was just able to not really think of anything and kinda move on. Then he saw that too. But we were able to move on again as well. Good luck and I hope this all works out well for you.
2007-11-17 01:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by erica_a_quintero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to approach her and tell her how u feel talk about what seemed to go wrong in the relationship and promise her u will do everything u can for whatv happened to never happen again if she's willing to give u a chance. Tell her all ur deep feelings she'll fall for that.
2007-11-17 01:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean,
but i was the DUMPEE..
it suckss.. when she said she was stressed
itwas just an excuse for something else.
i promise you.
it suckss to say it but it is.. girls do that..
and guys do it too!
soo dont think i'm taking sides or nothing.
look,
maybe you should talk to her, start somewhere
so you an atleast have her as a solid FRIEND
not jsut an aquantaince cause that just sucks
goign from loving someone to barely even getting a simple hello in the conversation. it sucks and i'm totaly guilty of doign that too.
maybe she was goign through something she just did not feel comfortable to talk about.
Dont stress to much about it
it's been 2 months you say. you should be moving
on.. it's not good to DWELL.
honey it gives you wrinkles!
stay sweet
<3
2007-11-17 01:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by geraldizzllee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it would be appropriate for you to ask (once) if she is willing to tell you more about why she made the decision.
It could have been anything! Her parents could have convinced her that she is too young for a serious relationship, she could be afraid of moving too fast -- it could be anything!
In any case, I hope you remember a bit of what this feels like so that, in the future if the roles are reversed with a girl, you will be brave and tell her what the issues are.
I hope you do ask her about it.
Wishing you well!
2007-11-17 01:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by susanmaried 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the kind of person, who wants more answers in an ending. I had a friend that moved on, and we just had fifteen minutes together before he left my life, and now he is gone. I still wish after six months that I could have sat down with this person, and talked to him for at least an hour. Finalize your "goodbyes", if you can with this girl. Tell her that you need to sit down somewhere that is quiet, and really talk to one another about what happened and your feelings. If, she doesn't want to, then she has already gone on in her life. But, please try to talk to her some about it.
2007-11-17 01:27:41 · answer #7 · answered by denise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. If you feel the need to tell her then 'tell her" maybe the fact that your so apprehensive is what made her so stressed, always trying to figure out what you were thinking or what you were up to. Be aggressive and take the 'take her back' approach. If it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be but at least you'll know. and really only time will heal.
2007-11-17 01:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by miss independent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say that time heals all wounds. the best thing you can do is tell her how you feel and then leave it up to her. you can't make people love you, but if you play your cards right at least you can move on and still be friends, maybe she just needs time to reflect on her own feelings. just give her some space you never know, she might miss you and realise she does have some feelings for you.
2007-11-17 01:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay technically you have'nt moved on and it seems as if you are still in love with this gurl so tell her and see how she reacts to it you cant be afraid to express your feelings and your only nervous becus you probably dont wanna mess up the friend-ship that you guyz already have..buh go 4 it...maybe shes still in love with you to????
2007-11-17 01:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by Kendrick S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋