We always fight over petty matters and we even slap each other sometime.. i dont know why i cant cope with him. We do not live together and for the time being he is on holidays for 6 months and we keep on fighting. I want to stop all this i feel suffocated and dont know what to do it is only with him that i have these fights and no one else in my family including my sister and friends.
2007-11-16 16:45:44 · 6 answers · asked by Heather 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's always sad for me to read about badly raised kids - I mean badly PARENTED kids.
Have you ever wondered why or how you kids were NOT trained and programmed to be wonderful best friends instead of bitter combatants????? How is it that you were not raised to be loyal, friendly, helpful, supportive, agreeable, close, respectful, polite - and all the other NORMAL, HEALTHY characteristics of a loving sibling relationship?
Perhaps you could 'cope' with him by being the kind of friend to him that you'd like to have. Give to him what you want given to you! Maybe you could undo the rotten childhood training you had by extending friendship, support, no-criticism, loyalty, respect, polite communications, good hearted intentions and best wishes to your brother as if he were your very best friend instead of your worst enemy.
2007-11-16 17:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never stop arguing with your older brother...
The key is turn the negative feelings into a productive debate. Every Christmas my bro and I have this heated discussion about politics and modern culture. The rest of the family will eventually leave the room. The past few years, I have been making a conscious effort to understand his point, without compromising my beliefs. We see each other a lot more then we used to.. Our discussions, although not less intense have acquired a note of respect.
Most likely you both have some strong feelings about certain issues. Embrace that fact. Learn to be understanding of his point of view. It is hard at first, but in the long run you both might benefit. While he is away think about what you argue about and the position you have on those issues. What might be petty to you might be very important to him..
Remember, he loves you and wants to protect you. Even if he does not admit it or act like it. Family relations are more complicated then others. You can find a way to discuss your differences that are intense and engaging, but not negative.
2007-11-17 01:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by LOR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are tired of fighting all the time and ask if you can call a truce. If that doesn't help, then avoid him. Do your own thing. If he comes in the same room as you, go somewhere else. If you keep this up long enough, he will eventually get the hint that you meant what you said. If none of that works then its time to get your parent(s) involved. Tell them that you want to make peace between you and your brother and that you just want to get along. Maybe they will be more apt to talk to him for you. Just a thought.
2007-11-17 00:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by SoAZ Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to constantly fight with my older brother. We still live together though. However, we have grown out of it. Now we hardly fight. This is something you and your brother need to work out. I suggest that when you are angry with him, you stop and think. Ask yourself "Is what we are fighting over really worth what we are doing to our relationship?" When you are about to fight, remind yourself that he is your brother and that he loves you even if he doesn't say it or show it. If you really just don't want to fight, sometimes just tell him what he wants to hear. Let him think he is right. In his mind he is right, but that doesn't matter. You know that you are right and that is all that should matter. I know it's hard not to voice your opinion, but if you really want to get along with your brother you might want to. Good luck with your brother.
2007-11-17 01:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by Simple Plan Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will just have to turn the other cheek. dont give into it when it happens. just move on and act as if it dont bother you what he does... if hes hitting then tell the parents your trying to avoid the fighting and would like there help. good luck
2007-11-17 00:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to avoid it is to keep your mouth shut and walk off.
2007-11-17 01:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋