Well she thinks she owns me. She tries and decides for me ALL the time and she contently makes me feel like a failure to life. She's not independent at all she listens to her friends when it comes to me kind of like gossiping. How can I tell her to just knock it off basically?
2007-11-16 16:15:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my father is the same way. but i always prove him wrong. he said i would never become a cop and yet im already almost at the door. and it pisses him off more then anything
2007-11-16 16:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by Dont get Infected 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your age. I take it that you may still be in your teens by the sound of your question...don't ask why I think that, I just do! Anyway, in reality you may think that your mom doesn't own you...but she feeds you, clothes you, puts a roof over your head, gives you a bed to sleep in, I'd say she provides for you pretty well. If you are a contributor to the household (like do you pay her rent to live with her, buy any of the food, or pay any bills?) Then you do have some say as to what freedoms you deserve, because with adult responsibility you should also be given the opportunity to make your own choices. Make sure that your choices are smart choices and not ones that cause her any worry or grief. If you take her car out then fill it up with gas when you return it. Thats just respectful and if she asks that you do something her way instead of doing it however you normally would...just go along with it. When she leaves the room you can always go back to your way. That is how my grandmother is about how I load the dishwasher for her. If she wants the knives and forks pointing down then I just do it to please her...its not hard. As for her asking her friends about how to deal with you...isn't that sort of the same thing you are doing? After all you did post a question on YA for advice. Your mom may not have the ability to use a computer, but she does have the right to ask her friends for advice. Just like you have every right to ask yours...or post a question on YA. If you want her to quit poking her nose into your life...then its time to move out. If you are under the age of 18 then you are in sort of a pickle. Ask a friend or relative if you can move in with them for a while. If you are older than 18...then get your own place and show your mom that you are capable of taking care of yourself. This is probably something she thinks you aren't ready for and is why she treats you like you are 3...by making your decisions for you and in retrospect that makes you feel like a failure because you are not incharge of your own decisions. Good luck. I hope this made sense, but more than that I hope it helps you figure out what to do.
2007-11-17 00:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by SoAZ Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention your age.
As long as you act like a kid, she will treat you accordingly.
If you behave responsibly, she should eventually respond in kind. She will compare notes with her friends, who are all trying to rear their own children as best they can.
Truth is, whether you are 7 or 17, you have NO rights and yes, she DOES own you. You are her responsibility until age 18. It is a heavy load on her shoulders, believe it or not. Walk a mile in her shoes.
Nobody can make you feel like a failure unless you allow them to. About all you can do is get through your education and graduate, and work at some kind of job to build your resume beginning as early as possible. You can get out of her house when you can support yourself. I would suggest working towards that.
2007-11-17 00:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at one point or another we all get mad at our parents.
She is your mother that is why she decides some things for
you. If you are under 18 or living at home still well it tends
to make mom's responsible for you. Talk to your mom and tell
her to trust you and not listen to gossip about you. And she
should not react to gossip until she has chance to talk to you
about it. Talking to her clearly is the only way you can get your
point across and if you act calm she may listen better.
Don't expect it to change overnight. My mom would do
destructive things to ruin my self esteem and my sisters.
Like as you hit the door she would say" you are wearing
THAT?" and my sisters would run and change I would
say "yes, it looks good on me BYE" My dad once told
me he wished my other sisters would stand up to her.
I just forced myself not to let her do that to me.
Miserable people like to creat misery around them.
Good Luck and don't listen to negativity. Be strong
and hold your head up!!!
2007-11-17 00:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by WiseGal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just loves you too much and wants to do the best she can for you, that is sometimes why parents ask other parents what they're advice is. I think she misses the way you were. Cut her some slack and try to be her friend, life isn't always smooth.
2007-11-17 00:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by darlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you 18? Move out and make your own life. Until then, she owns you.
2007-11-17 00:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some moms are like that, it may be a trust issue with you, have you done something to upset her in any way? I know my mother hates it when I back talk her, and I'm 29!
2007-11-17 00:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to knock it off! My mom was constantly goin to her frends for help about me and 1 day i told her, "Mommy, i would respect u more if u disciplined me urself and didnt hav ur frends do it 4 u.
2007-11-17 00:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, she does own you. Just remember to pray for peace and peace of mind. Show your mom your responsible and earn her respect.
2007-11-17 00:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋