well heres the story>My husbend and I have been married 12 yrs, when my daughter"step child" came to live with us she was 4.5 and we had been married for about 1-2yrs her mother had just had a new baby and just decided one day that she could'nt handle her and had her and her stuff dropped off.. My husbend works alot of hrs so alot of the preantal stuff I took care of I.e>school doctors appt ETC>she and I grew to have a good relationship even though her Mom always would tell her that she did'nt have to listin to me>>her would go months w/o calling or seeing her as she got older she even asked if she could call me MAMA, I sat with her and explianed to her what an honor it would be BUT I knew her mommie loved her very much and one day things would be much different for them, well that day came when she was about 12 (she's now 16) she wanted to try living with her mommie so we let her go>>that fell throuh about a year ago and she came back to live with us>>I know it was hard for her there
2007-11-16 15:51:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are first of all dealing with a woman-child now and there are hormonal issues she is dealing with. Think about how confused you were at that age. She is also dealing with abandonment issues due to her mother's yo yo style of mothering. Have you discussed this with her father? You didn't mention what his role is with this issue. This is his natural daughter. I would suggest that everyone involved seek counselling to deal with her issues and you will get clarity on what is going on with her and it will help everyone get on the same page so that you all will have a healthy family relationship.
2007-11-16 16:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wheres the rest of your question? It sound like you are one special step mom, raising the girl as your own. You have to remember that her mother is still her mother, and that will never change, but you have always been there for her, so you might get the blunt end of things when she is hurting from her mother. I Know it's kind of hard to see, that it is a complement to you and that you have been there for her. Remember being a teenager is a hard time in every ones life without feeling rejected by your mother. That's what she is feeling, and she probably won't talk about. Just keep being the best parent that you can be, and things will work out. I was the step father that was in your position once, and I was asked to give her away at her wedding over her real father. That was the best reword that I could have ever got from all of out growing pains. i wasn't perfect, but I was there, and I always showed that I cared. That is what you need to do also, show her the love of a parent, and you care, and one day it wont be hard, but you will be like me honored in a way that completely blows you away. Good Luck, and God Bless you and YOUR doubter
2007-11-16 16:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by bill s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she tried a taste of the grass on the other side of the fence and found out that it did not live up to her fantasies.
Her birth-mother had long-since moved on, and the world she knew as a young child doesn't exist. She can move on for the next 2 years and make her decisions based on the real world along with your support.
Kudos to you for letting her experience this.
She will be more likely to listen to your views.
2007-11-16 16:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats not disrespectful! You allowed her to see how her real mom really is and she realized you were right. How is that disrespectful???? I don't get it? She obviously listened to you, and realizes after getting to know her biological mom, she now knows where she belongs and thats with a family who loves and adores her very much. She needed to see her Mom and I can't see it any other way. Why is this so wrong? Wouldn't you want to know? I would. She simply has more trust in your opinion, and respects you a great deal. Isn't that what all parents would want?
2007-11-16 16:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt sound like there is any disrespect going on in the situation.. you should encourage interaction between her and her real mom
step moms realy have no place in the picture because you arent the biological parent, and where the hell is her real father - if he was any kind of a father or a man he would be there instead of working,but by the sounds of it he never has been,he is just another dead beat father !
2007-11-16 16:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ii don't think your stepdaughter is disrespectful. I do think her heart is home with you and your husband, together as a family. You are doing a great job. It looks to me like you think straighter than the real mom.
2007-11-16 15:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by jognmiles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the disrespectful one is her real mother! Not her! Where do you get the idea that your step daughter is disrespectful?????
2007-11-16 16:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋