Is my OB a really jerk off or what?

Question

I had my 20 week anatomy scan last week and then went to the doctor today for the results. He told me everything looked good but that I need to go back for a follow up scan. SO I asked why if everything looked good. He told me that they could not get all the heart pictures and that they suggest getting more because I am so big. SO I asked, you mean the baby is big so they couldnt get good pictures? It was very odd because during the ultrasound we say perfect pictures of the heart and all the valves. So he said, "No, because you are so big". In other words, because I am fat they could not get good pictures.

First of all, Im not fat. I am 5'7", 180lbs but wear it very well. BUT even if I were 400lbs, what the hell kind of doctor talks like that to a hormonal pregnant woman? I have no problem going back for another sonogram and even if it is because they said my bellly is big, ok but what kind of bedside manner is that? Needless to say, Im getting a new OB. Anyone else?

And for those of you commenting that I am not small --- this I know. I am under no illusion that I could lose some weight but there is nothing I can do while pregnant. I have not gained any weight per doctors orders but I just left that his approach was incredibly insensitive and rude.

Ok - people are missing my point. It is not that he said it. A doctor can say anything that that is factully true and while I may not want to hear it, I am logical person that can take it. It is how you say certain things. I believe that if anyone was in my situtation they would have felt sensitive to him comments. But thanks for your opinions.

Answer 1

I'm an average woman and I havent met an OB/GYN that wasnt an @sshole!

Answer 2

I don't know if I would say he's a jerkoff. But, yeah, that was some bad bedside manner. I had to go back and redo part of my 20 week scan also because of the same reason. However, I was told "heavier women sometimes have to have the scans redone b/c of extra padding around their belly." Completely truthful and said in a straightforward manner. I was not offended.
I don't know that I would switch ob's though. You are early enough that if you really feel you want to, you'll still have time to develop some rapport with your new doctor. You may want to think it over and figure out if you can let this go or not. He may have just been having a bad day. You can always talk to him about what he said too. Like " I was bit off by the way you spoke to me at my last appointment". If he doesn't seem to care, then at least you tried.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

I don't think you should take it personally. Doctors are people too, and they can be blunt just like the next person. Did he literally say "You're too fat?" He might not have meant it the way it sounded. You have every right to get a second opinion, but maybe it's a little harsh to up and quit on him and find a new doctor so quickly. Would you rather have a doctor who sugar-coats everything? Did you tell him you felt insulted? I think if you do decide to find a new doctor, which I personally wouldn't recommend at this stage in your pregnancy, you should tell him/her up front exactly why you left this one. Also, good luck in finding someone to take over your case. OBGYN's are usually hard to find after the first 12weeks, it's nearly impossible to get in anywhere, especially if you've already established with another physician. Best of luck to you and your new baby.

Answer 4

No offense but I am 5'8" and I weigh 140 now. (just got all the baby weight off). It seems like you are a bit over weight. Don't take offense just think about it.

Doctors are not stupid and they do not ask for another test to be taken unless their is a LEGIT reason. Don't search for someone who is NOT going to insist on things being done correct. Remember your not the doctor your just the one carrying the baby. At some point you need to realize that.

Stop being so sensitive he is probally being straight forward and honest about it. You are preg and tend to take everything the wrong way. Changing a doctor halfway thru isn't the best choice. Would you rather have someone tell you the truth and have accurate pictures taken or be offended by what a professional says to you and search for someone who is going to brush off the important things like getting a ccurate pic.

When I was preg I gained 50lbs and was up to 180 at 9 months. Good luck and I would fed ask questions but it sounds like your doctor is looking out for you. Thats a good thing!!

Oh and "V" below put it best by also mentioning you are going to have a hard time finding someone who will take you on at 20 weeks.

Answer 5

If he said it in an ugly way then I would definately be offended as well. If the dr were to laugh it off in a way meaning that your pregnant belly was just big then it would be a different story. My best advice to anyone is if you aren't 100 percent comfortable with your OB you need to get another one. Good luck and don't let that jerk of a dr make you feel bad. I'm 5'6 and at 20 weeks I was bigger than you. Don't take what he said to heart.

And, Peachpie, she would be unhealthy at 20 wks weighing 130-140 lbs. She should weigh around that much not even being pregnant. Think before you answer the next question.

Answer 6

Rude. Good for you switching on switching doctors. This is an emotional and special time for you, you shouldn't have some jerk off making you feel bad.

I'd make sure and write a letter to the doctor telling him why you're finding a new OB and that you'll be letting your female friends know about it.

That's such a bummer! I love my OB, she's this tiny little Korean lady who speaks good, but a bit broken English... and she's just adorable! And she makes me feel great, she compliments me on my maternity clothes and tell me how nice my hair looks. It sounds silly, but when you're pregnant and feel hideously ugly those things really help.

Answer 7

YOUR DOCTOR IS AN A**** H**** get a new one. If his bedside manner is that bad now, can you imagine how not caring he would be in the deliver room. OMG find a new doctor... and make sure to share the undesirable behaviors with the new OB so he/she knows what your looking to avoid. Also if you can find a female OB they tend to be more understanding, and have a better personal touch!

Goodluck

Answer 8

I agree with you completely. He could have used another way of saying you are overwieght. I personally am overwieght and my doctor has been wonderful about being direct without making me feel bad. We've talked at length about my unique risks and other things like the ultrasound pictures and other stuff. If he felt that it was an issue, then why didn't he just bring it up tactfully before. What a jerk.

Answer 9

well, as you very well said it yourself, it's the hormones talking.Your doctor seemed to ask you a simple request, you insisted to know why.He explained you the reason, since you kept digging.
I don't think he called you fat, he just stated the reason he needs another scan.
Sometimes, when there is something abnormal in the scan, the doctor wants to see more results but tries not to upset the mother.I think this is the case with you but you took it the wrong way and went downhill.
If I were you, I'd keep this doctor, and next time I go there, I'd apologize for my "hormonal behavior"
Good luck

Answer 10

You asked, your OB told you. Everyone slips up now and again and says things they don't mean, or they don't come out how they intended. Good OBs are hard to find so if you trust their judgment and everything else is going good you might want to give them another try, or sit down and talk with them about the issue.

Answer 11

I do not let any doctor that is not a female go near my who haw and that is why. They are not women and they have no place telling a woman to relax when they shove a cold speculum up there while her feet are in stirrups. Because they do not know what it is like to be pregnant, go through female stuff, ect..they can not relate. I always wonder why the hell they go into that kinda work, I think it is somewhat creepy. When they grow a vagina and push a baby out a tiny hole then they can tell me I am to relax, or in your case that you are to big. What a CREEP!
Lisa B