Im 16 and she's 15. Question about marriage?

Question

Hi,
Im 16 and she's 15
Im sure were going to get married. We love each other so much and she never wants to leave me nor do I her.

Well Im worried because we have such a long time before we get married. I want to get married at least 20 or 21

I dont want our relationship to get boring. What things should we do to keep that "spark of love" up. Should we travel around the U.S. or whatever?
Btw I dont want to have pre-marital sex because I want to save it on that special day. So anything will help :)

Please say at least some suggestions to my question. Not "your gonna have to xplore someother relationships ect."

PLEAZE!

Answer 1

I totally understand your worry.

I met my boyfriend when we were both 17, and now we're 19 and 20. Even after two and a half years of a long-distance relationship, we are still in love, and are thinking about marriage when we're 22-23. Keeping a relationship going for long periods of time can be hard, but it IS possible.

As far as keeping the spark alive, I would say not to work too much. In my relationship, we have never had the spark die, even after almost three years of a long-distance relationship! If this girl is truly the one, staying together will be easy, almost natural.

But, if you are looking for stuff to do together, I would recommend taking an interest in each others hobbies, or developing a new hobby together. Maybe read a book together and discuss it afterwards. Take each other to do something you've always wanted to do. (visit a certain theme park, go to a certain state, learn to do yoga, whatever.)

Just remember, even a great relationship has its ups and downs, and just cuz you're in a "down", doesn't mean the spark is gone. :)

And thumbs up on the no premarital sex! We're waiting too!

Answer 2

From a medical stand point, you should wait until you are older. At the age of 15 or 16 you are more likely to have a high risk pregnancy and a possible a baby with problems (down syndrome is a higher risk factor for the very young, just like it is for women having a baby over the age of 35). You are more likely to develop pregnancy induced hypertension, making you more likely to have seizure during the pregnancy or during the labor. The pain you will experience during the pregnancy alone will seem more unbearable now than it would later because you are young and just don't have the proper coping mechanisms yet. Your body is still growing and developing, adding a baby to it will stunt and retard your growth. Besides, having a baby isn't just about having the financial support (though that is a HUGE deal), what if your parents don't get over it? What if the guy you are considering isn't there for you? Getting pregnant as a teenager on purpose is an incredibly selfish act.

Answer 3

First, at your age, you are too young to know if it will really work. A successful marriage requires more than just "being in love".

Second, if you have to ask a group of strangers for ways to "spice up" the relationship for the next 5 years, you are doomed to fail anyway.

If the bf/gf relationship gets "boring" after 5 years, how are you going to keep the marriage together for the next 60 years?

See where life takes you. in 5 (or certainly 10) years, you will both be VERY different people than you are now.

Don't plan your whole life at such a young age, only to find out later you picked the wrong person.

Answer 4

First off, good for you for wanting to wait till your married to have sex. I really really applaud you on that. I'm not going to tell you to go explore other relationships, because if you two do love each other, that won't really work. It's easy for people to say all high school relationships are just puppy love ( I fall into that myself, especially with some people I know ), but while most high school relationships won't last, it's true that some do. My boyfriend (now fiance) fell in love with me when we were sophomores in high school. We broke up at the end of the year because I didn't love him back, but something clicked at the end of junior year and we've been together since. Now we're sophomores in college, recently engaged, and we both love each other completely. So it can work.

My advice for you would be to go to separate colleges, at least an hour apart, and wait until after college to get married (I know, it seems forever away). If you two can make it through that, you can make it through most anything. As far as keeping the spark alive-- you don't have to do anything so drastic as traveling around the country. Have picnics in the park, stay home and watch movies while you cuddle on the couch, leave love notes for each other once in a while for no reason at all, go out to eat, go roller skating, go bowling, play board games together, surprise her with a flower. Really, just anything that you can do together should do it. Also keep in mind that every long term relationship will have its ups and downs. Even if you don't fight, your feelings will be stronger at some points than others. Don't dwell on it during the down points, just keep going.

Best of luck to you both!

Answer 5

You need to understand that the 2 of you will change and grow into different people than you are today. That's just life. Experiences help us learn and grow and we often end up changed by those experiences. I know that doesn't answer your question but I just wanted you to be prepared for that inevitability so it doesn't come as a surprise.

You shouldn't NEED a spark to keep your r'ship alive. Geez....you're so young! But I agree with some others on here...developing hobbies together is a great way to spend quality time together and bond. Traveling is a great thing to do. It teaches you independence and makes memories to last a lifetime but it's expensive. Can you really afford that? You could go on a roadtrip. That's always fun!

Answer 6

You have a very mature outlook in knowing that it is better to wait until you are older before you get married. You'll both want to be finished at least high school first.

Presumably you're each living with your respective parents. Spend time with each other's families. That depends your bond.

Find out the things you both enjoy doing and do them together. Create plans together.

Travelling is good if you are the travelling types. It gives you more shared experiences.

Encourage each other to continue to grow and do have some time apart.

Answer 7

It's so nice to see kids in their very first relationship! They all believe that this is the person they want to be with.

Kudos on the saving sex thing...rarely seen anymore. But really, beyond that... just be yourselves and have fun. .

Focus on school, college... life in general. Don't spend every waking moment together.... experience things apart from eachother (such as college). If it is meant to be, then you will still be together 10 years from now

Answer 8

That's awesome that you want to wait until you're married! That's really rare nowadays...

If you two really love each other, the relationship won't get boring. What do you two have in common? Find a hobby you both like.

But don't pick a specific age to get married. Wait until you both have a good job and can support each other. Don't rush...you have your whole life ahead of you.

Answer 9

Think about this for a minute. I mean, REALLY think about what you said.

You're 16, and she's 15.
You're "sure" the two of you will get married.

Marriage is -supposed- to be a lifelong commitment, i.e. "'til death do you part."

Now, already, at the ripe young age of 16, you're already worried about your relationship getting 'boring' before you turn 21. If you can't cover five years now, what makes you think you've got what it takes to cover another fifty or sixty years together?

Take my advice, kid: Don't plan on getting married, and don't fret about the future so much. Enjoy your time with her, have fun, and if, in five years, you're still with the girl, then start making some plans.

One more thing: I applaud you on your choice to wait for a 'special event.' Not many people your age have much in the line of values, so I'll gladly praise yours.

Answer 10

You both need to have things you enjoy together that will help you grow as partners. Try dance lessons which can help you with communication and trust. Stay involved in church activities for young couples to help you focus on your spiritual growth. Always keep your goals in mind, talk to each other about everything and nothing important but don't lose your individual lives in each other. Keep your set of friends and allow her to do the same. Plan away time as well as together time that way you'll always have things to talk about.