What do you do if your child stresses you out?

Question

Lately, my brother has been making my mother so stressed out. My mother has a small case of depression, and my bro isn't helping things out. It has become a part of his habit to tell her everyday that he hates her and wishes she would die. If she doesn't get what he wants, he just explodes and starts saying cruel things. He also gets angry if my mother doesn't make him something to eat-something as simple as a sandwhich, waffles, or even cereal. My mother always gives in, even when I tell her not to. She spoils him with mcdonalds once a week, thus resulting in him getting mad when she doesn't buy him it. Then there are times when my mother takes her sleeping pills (with her beer) and he argues with her about something. Never disturb her when she's drunk or takes her pills. Beer makes her overly emotional and pills makes her umm... Sleepy and wishing to be unbothered? What can I do with this situation. My mother doesn't want to listen to my words. She just walks out. :-(

Answer 1

Hey Sweetie,
Your mom has more than just "a small case of depression." She is mixing alcohol with pills. That is not a good situation and can be very dangerous for her.
You did not say how old that you are or your brother is; however, your brother obviously knows how to push your mother's buttons and to manipulate your mom with no regard to anyone.
By any chance, do you have an older family member that you can speak to? Unfortunately, your mom is not listening to you and she probably knows that you are speaking the truth.
If your mom will not take care of yourself, you need to start thinking about yourself. This environment is going to become if it already isn't very toxic for you.
Get help for yourself so that you will be able to cope with the home issues. Al-Anon is also a good place to check out to help you cope.
Good luck Sweetie. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 2

I suffer from depression too, but I'm getting treatment...pills and therapy have worked WONDERS! But...that doesn't mean that my children don't get on my last damn nerves! I agree that your mother DID create some of the problems that she's having with your brother...but speaking as a parent, the reason she gives in is NOT because she's spoiling him, it's because she'd rather quiet the problem than listen to the whining and all the other stuff that comes along with it.

I have learned to tune my children out. But I've also trained my kids enough to know that when I don't wanna be bothered, DON'T BOTHER ME!! All I have to say is, "STOP..." and shoot them that "I'm gonna string you up by the balls" look...and they generally stop! hahah...but seriously, maybe you should have a talk with your brother.

He's a brat...and some kids JUST ARE. Maybe little brother needs to learn how to help himself...if he's old enough to talk all that smack, he's old enough to make his own PB n'J or grab a bowl of cereal. The best way to help your mother is to deal with you brother when he gets out of hand. And maybe...just MAYBE it's not that she doesn't want to listen to your words...try another approach.

It's all about presentation. If your presentation sucks, you will lose your audience...hence the reason she walks out.

Good luck...

Answer 3

not trying to sound harsh, but your mother needs to get a backbone and knock his teeth down his throat.

I am the mother of 3 and step mother of 1, and I wish like hell any one of them even thought about telling me they hated me or doing any of the stuff you say your brother does to you mom..... I would tear fire out their azz that day.

and honestly its nothing you can do. She's his mother and until she gains control of that situation and puts him in check and makes he understands that he's the child and she's the parent....... its gonna continue.

this is her fault for allowing it and she needs to correct it before its too late. Next thing you know he'll be whooping her azz as if he's the parent.

smdh sad

Answer 4

your between a rock and a hard place.
if your mother refuses to make your brother behave there is nothing you can do.
what does your dad say? aunt? grama?
maybe one of them could help.

Answer 5

Your mother created the situation, she has to deal with it.

Answer 6

Another reason I do not want them.