Does being molested make you a target?

Question

Does being molested make you a target for other predators ? I feel like at times I have attracted people that want to violate me all over again.I was at school and this guy started talking to me like buddy buddy stuff and after a few months of that he made some joke and as if we were buddies he gently shoved me and then grabbed my breast, still laughing as if it was " just a joke ". Is there a spiritual curse or something that comes with being molested that brings incidents like this ? Is there a verse that says this ? (( Im still wondering where it says its ok for a guy to just grab my breast also...i was so shocked I just walked away. it hurt so bad it was like he was trying to molest and hurt me at the same time )).

Answer 1

I get the same as well, although the people who have targeted me in my adult life have been females, the way they abuse & target me is non-physocal yet feels disgusting (sorry for the term)& a real violation of my boundaries.
I do feel violated & people generally feel they can do whatever they please with me. For example, they speak to me in demeaning & personal ways, they invade my perosnal space & think I am a person they have knownn all their life, yet I hardly know them or even want to..
But I am changng this & I am not going to let it happen again. read this book:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Can-Heal-Your-Life/dp/0937611018/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195266455&sr=8-1
it'll hep
xxGigi

Answer 2

I don't think that being molested makes you a target directly. However, I think that the psychological effects of being molested can affect the way you live your life, and your stance toward others. Perhaps you are giving out a "victim" vibe that others are picking up on, or perhaps the actions of others have a lot more psychological force for you because you interpret their actions through your previous experiences.

However, there is no such spiritual "curse" for you being molested. It was not your fault, and you will not be punished because you didn't make the choice to have that happen to you. The person who molested you did something wrong, not you. I am sincerely sorry you had that horrible experience. I hope you will seek the help of ecclesiastical leaders and mental health professionals (such as a counselor) to help you overcome the effect this has had on your life. God loves you, and He will ensure that justice is done in the end.

As for the person at school who did this to you, he was definitely in the wrong. This should be reported to the school authorities. By doing so, you can help protect other women to whom this might happen. It is definitely not okay for a guy to grab your breast without your permission. I recommend that you talk to your parents and a school counselor or the principal.

Answer 3

Actually, and interestingly, I heard the same theory made in a book written by an FBI profiler--and I would give a million dollars (OK, I don't have a million, but anyways) to remember the name of it, it was a wealth of information about criminology. It was a very disturbing book, not an easy read for a lot of people, I suspect.

For some reason, there are just some people that attract predators--by how they look, how they act, or whatever. The book talked about how there was a great likelyhood of being "molested" for some people, and not necessarily by the same person. Once it happened, there is a great chance of it happening again.

You need to report what happened to your school authorities. There is no reason for you to endure something like that happening at school--you should feel safe at school. It is a place to learn, not to be hurt.

Second of all--learn how to look confident in public, no matter how you feel inside. Talk to a counselor or someone you trust to help you with this. THe more confident and powerful you appear, the less likelhood of being victimized.

I'm really really sorry that this happened to you.

Answer 4

There is no spiritual curse, but there is the element of finding what is familiar and so yes, we are targets for all sorts of predators. Part of the spiritual lesson of being molested is learning how to have and keep boundaries. One would think this would be instictual for someone abused, but it's not. Abuse gives us the message that we don't matter and that we are existing solely for others. We need to learn to stand up for ourselves and say, "HELL NO!" when it is needed. Read The Courage To Heal and if possible, get into some therapy. You will not allow this sort of thing to happen once you start valuing and protecting yourself from predators.

Answer 5

I had been sexually molested, kidnapped at one point and was made to do very horrible things. It effected me for a great deal afterwards. I felt like I had no one to turn to and I was afraid to say something to someone if they did touch me inappropriately. I think that I gave a vibe out that I could be touched and I would remain silent. It became a cycle. I had been touched several times afterwards...but one day I realised that if I don't stand up for myself it would continue to happen. I think you are doing the same. Instead of shoving the guy off and telling him to stop...you just left. Rather then confronting the situation you allowed it, and you feel horrible. He now believes that he can do it again, and the worse thing you will do is walk away. Not much of a deterrent. My advice is stand up for yourself and this will stop happening to you.

Answer 6

A friend of mine is working on a Ph.D. in psychology. She told me once that if you put one person with a victimizer-type personality and one person with a victim-type personality into a room with hundreds of other people, they'll naturally gravitate toward you. I'm not sure what she based this on.

It's not a curse, but it might have a spiritual component--perhaps your earlier experience has spiritually scarred you in a way that's visible to predators. Any advice that any of us give you on how to address the problem is likely to smack of "just pray about it" or "if only you had more faith," which I'm concerned would be hurtful to you (as if you hadn't thought of that already). Instead, see if you can find a Christian counselor who would be open to having this conversation with you.

Answer 7

(((((gentle hugs)))))

In a way, victims of abuse are more likely to be targeted again in the future... is it the victims FAULT though? Not even close.

I was molested and ill-treated by the guys in my life almost all my life. As I got older, I learned that victims tend to "carry themselves" as victims. We don't stand up for ourselves like we should.
When I learned to find my voice and tell people what is acceptable and unacceptable, my days of being a victim came to an end.
Someone touching your breast, when you don't want them to, IS **unacceptable**.
You are worth more than that. NO ONE has a right to make you feel uncomfortable like that. Don't worry about hurting their feelings. If someone accidentally bumps or brushes against you, you CAN TELL.

There is nothing Scriptural about being so cursed. Pray to God for strength and do a lot of "soul searching". It'll take a lot of work, but you'll make it through just fine if you determine you will.

Answer 8

Sounds like you may be experiencing toxic shame, which is why you feel physically and emotionally violated. If these feelings of discomfort or toxic shame persist, please seek counseling to workout possible past experiences that may be dictating your ability to break-free from forming present and future relationships that mimic molest situations (ie. cast of characters with specific personalities similar to your past potential abuser, intimate conversations that are similar to the ones controlled by this same abuser, etc.). If secular counseling cannot find a root cause of your issues, then seek the help of a Pastor who can deliver you from strongholds or generational curses that may have been passed down to you through your parents & relatives. Good luck and May God keep His Hand upon you during this time! God Bless You!

Answer 9

being molested is bad enough without always thinking that someone is out there to get you. I don't beleive anyone can tell the difference between me and someone who has not been molested. it made me stronger, more independant and more willing to stand up to those who would prey on me.
I would say that you don't necessarily attract predators, but that you are more tuned in to people and how they behave around you, so you find them out quicker than maybe the average person. Use this to your advantage and steer clear of people that give you bad feelings.

Answer 10

Sometimes being molested or abused seeps into your choices in friends and men. You may be choosing unwisely out of a need to be loved. I would suggest counseling to get your self-esteem where it needs to be and your choices will be smarter then.

That is not saying it is your fault that this person did something wrong. It is just saying that sometimes when your self-esteem is poor, you reach out to people that you wouldn't normally want to associate with as you feel you aren't special enough to expect more. You are, you just have to work on getting through the pain.