I have had a crush on this man for while as we are in the same industry. He is very young looking and acting,very healthy and wants kids.We started dating a couple of months ago. I find him so sexy, intelligent and he treats me unbelievably well. I like him alot and he likes me, but am afraid. Serious answers only please.
2007-11-16 11:31:12 · 59 answers · asked by girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If the future matters, do consider that he may live to see your children turn 20, maybe not, maybe a little longer. But it's almost certain that you will be left behind to start over one day. It's simply a fact to either accept it or to admit you can't deal with.
You are also still young and with his age comes health problems. Do you want to be his nurse, as one day you will have to be, at least for awhile. Will he still feel like a man to you? Have your love, respect and devotion?
It really is all about looking down the road and either accepting or rejecting certain likely realities.
Other than that, sweetheart, the world is full of hate, divorce and bitterness. If you have found love with this man, and resolved the issues above, don't let go. It's far too rare and too precious to put a number on, as long as you can accept what goes with it.
gentle thoughts
Hey, after reading other answers i just have to say that those of you who are like 12 - 20, older people do have sex, enjoy it and can be VERY good lovers. If you think it's only for kids just wait until you GROW UP a little. Older men usually DO MUCH better behind the bedroom door, as long as they don't give it up. I'm 48 and dated 23 year olds and 65 year olds, if I had to choose between the extreme I'd take the older one any day - if you want some peace, decency and a mature partner.
And you know, you don't have to marry this guy. You can see him for awhile and change you mind... hell, he may decide YOU'RE too old for HIM! Whatever you do, enjoy yourself and make YOU happy, not those who haven't a clue or haven't lived enough years to know any better. There are choices and trades in life. This is one. Just don't bail out of fear, you may most regret what you were too afraid to experience. Again, good wishes...
2007-11-16 11:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay- you said he wants kids...he doesn't have any yet: or he wants more? Keep in mind that if you married him today and got pregnant on your honeymoon he will be 88 when they graduate from high school!!! Better question is do YOU want kids either with this guy or any other guy? It's going to be tough for him to be coaching little league or soccer in 10 years. This guy is my Fathers age and there is no way in HELL that he has the endurance my 36 year old brother does when it come to playing with the grand kids.
Granted sharing a common background and generally enjoying each others company is definitely a great start. But to answer your question: "What am I afraid of?" How about a serious commitment with someone your own age. What do your friends and family say? I'd be surprised if they're not freaking out; that is if they even know!!! So maybe your afraid of your family hitting the roof.
2007-11-16 11:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by On My Own 316 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say date him, but NEVER marry him. My ex was 23 years older than me,actually he lied by 10 years in the beginning. We got married soon after and had a son. A year after he did not want to any-ting"he had done it all" or some excuse. and he was the same, treated me well etc. but then you end up with nothing in common and a dead marriage. I was going ut on him 3 years later
2007-11-16 11:37:15 · answer #3 · answered by marilyn b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What are you afraid of? His age? Does he care for you? Don't you care for him? You aren't related right? Whose to say who you can fall in love with? My bf is 32 and I'm 24. I mean that's not a major difference but many ppl look at it as I'm preying on older men because I've date 45 yr olds and all. Just prefer older men. If you want to be happy just be. Life is like the art of drawing without an eraser. Don't give in to your feelings that make you afraid of him.
2007-11-16 11:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He'll be (no offense) dead in 10-25 years. You will have to care for him health wise for the majority of your marriage. Then when he dies, you'll be like 60-70 and good luck finding another husband then. Sorry I am just being realistic. But ultimately your heart will figure it out. personally I wouldn't do it if I were in your situation!
2007-11-16 11:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Eternal Love 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is he widowed? divorced? how do his kids feel about it. I have seen some couples with this age spread. The owner of the company I work for has like 30 some years between him and his wife. There are pros and cons, he's not going to be around forever.
2007-11-16 11:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by burni.romo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't bother you, go for it! No one else's opinion should matter.
I am 36 and dated a 50 year old, then turned around and dated a 24 year old.
However, when there is a big age difference, I do start to consider the mortality factor. However, that's just me.
2007-11-16 11:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a male and cannot see myself dating a 70 year old woman, but if he makes you happy and it is what you want to do, go for it.
You are an adult and should not worry what others think about the situation.
2007-11-16 11:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by frogskin13 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm never against age gaps, whatever makes people happy (and doesn't involve deliberately hurting others) is fine with me. BUT, personally, I think its a mistake to start a family in your 70s. Is he gonna be able to chase after a little kid?
2007-11-16 11:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by morganmadar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he makes you happy and you make him happy....age really shouldn't be a factor. Anyone who thinks otherwise? Is just jealous :) Besides, what was 70 a few years ago, isn't what 70 looks like now...the majority of oldsters are getting into what is described as the best shape of their lives and kudos to anyone who can live their life the way they feel.... Hope your relationship is a long and happy one.
2007-11-16 11:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋