A parent who is never there or one who sporadically visits her children?
She had custody when they divorced but one day she called CFS and said she couldn't do it anymore and for the past 3 years he's had custody of them. She may see them 3 weekends or a couple hours on the weekends out of a month and then not see them for 2 months, leaves the country and tells her children she is moving but returns a few months later with no phone calls while she is gone, will not see the children because of the father even though the father has made arrangments for the kids to be picked up at his parents while he is not there. She quits her job to avoid paying child support then bitches at the father for the kids for having shoes that are falling apart. She doesn't have a permanent address. She constantly threatens to take him to court (I'm no lawyer but I doubt she has a strong case) for custody again. It's putting him through a lot of stress and doesn't have the money to go for sole custody
2007-11-16 11:13:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
What would you do if you were in his shoes? He works very hard, has a great support system and the kids are way better off with him then they are with her.
2007-11-16 11:14:30 · update #1
Thats a tough one. I think having a sporadic parent is worse then no parent because it is constant disappointment and teaching them that they cannot rely on at least one parent. The mother sounds unstable. If she is not abusive beyond what you describe their is not much that he can do. I would suggest not bad mouthing her in front of them because that would just hurt them more but let them know that she is acting inappropriately and that they deserve better. Besides that, just be the best parent he can and hopefully it should make up for the crappy one.
2007-11-16 11:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Emily 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I gather from the way this was written that you are with the father. That might make you a little biased.
But as to the situation. He should record everything - her absences, not showing up for visitation, leaving the country and not contacting the kids, no fixed address, etc. Keep times dates and any messages from her.
That way if she should ever have the funds to take him to court for custody, he is fully armed with the proof he may need to fight her on it.
Beyond that my only advice is to do what you and he can, to protect those children. They are after all, the most important thing in all of this.
2007-11-16 11:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just has to put up with it. If he hasn't the money to file for sole custody, he's screwed. He has to abide by the last court rendering, which gave her visiting rights.
She seems to me to be a little more than eccentric. I think she may have mental problems or be on drugs. If you can discover drugs, you can put her in jail. Being homeless, you might be able to use that too. She sounds lost and unwanted and desperate.
Your children will always love their mother, no matter how many times she doesn't show up. Always speak to her when the kids can't hear, and always speak positively about her so that the kids have that warm spot left in their heart for mommy. They need that.
TX Mom
2007-11-16 11:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having a sporadic parent. My brother is in the situation. The "mother" is a coke head, cant stay out of jail, cant parent and just shows up to disrupt the kids lives for a few months at time then goes back to jail. The kids are so screwed up b/c of her.
2007-11-16 11:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by billie b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court and get sole permanent custody immediately. spell out any visitation that is convenient with your family. these kids need all the stability they can get...
she doesn't have a leg to stand on. she has no address, how can she be served.
go the distance and get everything in court documents as soon as possible!!! you can get free or low cost legal help in the nearest city close to you. or go to the clerk of courts and ask what papers you have to file and if you can file without an attorney...
do it now... don't' wait!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-16 13:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you say is true: "He works very hard, has a great support system and the kids are way better off with him then they are with her."
Let her take him to court....she'll easily lose.
Document everything. Everytime she's supposed to show up and doesn't, everytime she says she'll call but doesn't, you get the picture. This also helps in these types of cases.
2007-11-16 11:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sic Semper Tyrannis 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋