My dad has pretty much disowned me for dating and having a child my someone outside my race. And now my aunt and uncle want my son to come and live with him because I have a fiance, and I want let my son have everything under the moon. I want to find ppl that have had the same problem. I have gave up on my dad coming back into our life. I mean he doesn't even call to see if we are still alive. It is just CRAZY!!!
2007-11-16 08:28:09 · 11 answers · asked by doggyfan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents are very prejudice and hated the idea of me even dating anyone Hispanic. For years, I didn't bring anyone home and didn't talk about anyone I was dating. I was forced to sneak around and lie. It was miserable.
When I was 16 almost 17, I started dating whom would eventually be my husband and father of my children. I don't know why, but I just had enough and started bringing him around a little at the time. He is a really good, nice person so eventually they told themself that he "should have been white," (whatever that means) and half-way accepted him.
When I was 17, almost 18, I got pregnant with our first child.
It was a bad scene with my Mom who found out first and demanded I have an abortion. I wouldn't and it was too late anyway. She made me keep it a secret from my father and everyone else until I couldn't hide it any more. She told my Dad. On top of him being prejudice, he is very old fashioned and would have been upset about the pregnancy no matter who the father was.
He didn't talk to me for weeks. My boy friends wasn't allowed any where near our home on fear of death. He said he didn't want anything to do with the baby and initially said I could stay until the baby was born and then I'd have to get out.
Once the baby was born and he saw her and held her, everything changed. In fact, he was like a second mother. My baby called him "Mama Jack," LOL! He was so protective over her, it was crazy and they were very close until she was 16 and father passed away from cancer.
I know he may not be happy about your baby's race but it is still part of you and not the child's fault. Let him know he is punishing an innocent child for something he had nothing to do with. Time is so precious and one day, he will regret it.
If he doesn't change his mind, as hurtful as it is to you and your child, then it really is his loss.
As for letting your baby go live with anyone, unless it was truly the best decision for your baby, no way!
2007-11-16 08:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very difficult to find a person on earth that isn't of "mixed" race. Racial purity is an illusion. There never was a pure race, and there never will be. (Don't believe what Hitler said.) Perhaps the better question here is "Would you have the child of a man or woman with vastly different color skin than you?" My answer is "yes." Just as soon as I would with someone who had different colored eyes or hair. I believe that mixing up the genetic pool is healthy and beneficial. That being said, I would not have a child with someone who didn't share my values. So if you are obsessed with race and race politics, I probably would not want to raise a child with you. This goes for racists and race-baiters alike.
2016-05-23 10:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by sheryl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is a very very shallow , blind man has he not learnt that we are a muti cultural world and all is not white nor black.... dont worry about him, it really is his loss after all. al;so it is not up to your aunt or uncle to say where YOUR child lives and because you have a fiance this is so wierd, whats it to them..... nice family where is the love and support.... you know just live YOUR LIFE how YOU want it to be and as long as YOU are happy and you do the right things by YOUR son then thats all that should matter.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-16 09:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what you are saying here. You are now engaged, and also have a child who relatives want to raise and you would consider that so he can have material things??? What your child needs is a loving caring mother who is there for him, not just stuff. You cannot live your life for your dad either....you have chosen what you want to do and if you are happy with that decision then move forward.
2007-11-16 08:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you have relatives who care. They can be like grandparents to your child. How horrible that someone could take their bigotry out on an innocent child.
Live with your aunt and uncle so you have that emotional support.
2007-11-16 09:02:03 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let God do the work for you. If you don't have a relationship with God, Get one! He can and will change hearts and minds if you believe. Trust Me. You must continue loving and caring for your son. One day, he will see the light. Don't get angry b/c anger turns to hate. Just trust God and He will handle it all. God Bless
2007-11-16 08:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is totally wrong, but you can't force him, to change his mind, unless he is willing too. Meaning when he is ready to change, he will change, but if he is not ready to change he won't.
You have the right to date who ever you what no matter what race they are.
2007-11-16 08:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by Yoko (from Team Galaxy) fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what is the question? Sounds like you have moved on and are not letting your father's views slow you down.
2007-11-16 08:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by Terry2fish 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm white and my wife is latina. I feel for you girl, my inlaws are way cool...
...does your father know your boyfiends??? Is he pre-judging?? When will people learn that all people are great/ suck...;)
2007-11-16 08:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by ... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be ashamed-very ashamed.
2007-11-16 08:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋