There is this girl at my job that I like and she is goin through a tough time bc of what happens in her previous relationships she has been in. she is depress about it, she is depressed by the fact that she thinks she did something wrong in the relationship and is tired of bein used then dumped. I would like to make her feel better, during lunch she talks with the other females. What can i do or say? Im a nice guy and all, and i truly do like her and i would def love to get to know her. What is the best thing i can do or say to her, i want her to know that i can be there for her to develope a stronger friendship then lead to relationship
2007-11-16 08:24:39 · 12 answers · asked by tbg1982 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok. there's something about your post that bothers me. it's nice that you're interested and all, but clearly this girl is not ready for another relationship, but since you clearly want a relationship, you want some sort of plan to get her to that point where she would want to be in another relationship, but this time, with you.
it... just sounds a little too planned/manipulative. sorry. what's coming across to me is that while you mean well, jumping into someone's emotional aid when they're down just so you could get close to them sounds wrong. i'm sorry it does. it doesn't sound genuine, it sounds more like something that could turn into a codependent relationship.
take it easy. get to know her in a timely fashion and don't push or take advantage of her emotional instability right now. seriously. you can let her know that you're here to listen, but do you want a relationship based on someone spilling out all their emotional baggage about relationships with other people? there has to be more to you that she can grow to know other than that you're a shoulder for her to lean on.
and you know what? if she doesn't want to be your friend, you have to respect that. you say you're a nice guy an di am sure you are but sometimes we thnk because we're nice we should do these things and that those things should get us what we want, or who we want. and it's just not like that.
2007-11-16 08:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, i do think you need to slow down...what makes you think, not knowing her yet, that you are sure to want a relationship with her?
I really think the best advice is to stay in the background until she heals as if you wind up with her too soon, you will only be the guy she leans on until she becomes ready for the real thing. I have seen it happen a million times. If you inject yourself into her life right now, while she is feeling tender and hurt, she will not have a whole woman to offer and if she even accepts you it won't be in the healthy way that she might be able to later.
This is a woman hurting, and if you become her best friend, her hero, her knight in shining armor, you will lose out on anything real when the time comes.
Patience, and more patience. Watch, look and listen...
2007-11-16 16:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really easy be her friend, listen to her, put no pressure on her. Once she gets thru the first steps of being dumped then just be there no matter what as you two get to know each other you will know if there is a future or not. Also tell her that the he is the one that lost cause you think she is someone special and she is better off without an idiot like that.
2007-11-16 16:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by cones21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one but I think if your interested in her you should just try to be there for her. Im assuming that you guys are already friends and she knows who you are, so maybe ask her and some other friends from work to go out to eat or a bar and just be there for her. Talk to her about things you know shes interested in. See if shes even looking to be in a relationship in the near future. But be there for her as a friend before making a move on her. Girls hate it when a guy make a move when they arent ready good luck
2007-11-16 16:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by kristy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually when a girl has a bad previous relationships it does put a damper on a new relationship. she rpobably just has trust issues Girls usually put their guard up b/c they dont want to be hurt like they were before or they dont want to make the wrong desicions again. There is not much you can do.. Give her time... she'll come around. Just be there for her
2007-11-16 16:33:09 · answer #5 · answered by Gmarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to join in on the conversations she has with the other people at work. If she seems to feel comfortable talking to you ask her out for a drink or something in private. Try to let her know you want to be her friend first, you don't want to move to fast for her.
2007-11-16 16:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just smile and be nice to her. Ask her how she's doing. Ask if you can sit with her and her friends at lunch. I'm sure she'd appreciate being in a relationship with a such a nice and caring guy such as yourself.
2007-11-16 16:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Erin has a crush on Brandon♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue showing your sincerity to her. Have patience on your friendship, to her. Make her comfortable with you by listening when she needs to talk.
Give her time to gather herself. I don't think she's ready for a relationship yet.
Bear with it, sooner or later she will realize your intention to her is true.
2007-11-16 16:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by Angelina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know your there for her tell her if she needs anything t olet u know blah blah blah blah the usual she might respond she might not depends on ur look and her taste
2007-11-16 16:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by [[kinky]] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing that you can do is to let her know that if she needs to talk that you'll be there to listen .
2007-11-16 16:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by m_vanness1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋