My daughter is 3 and we just recently put her in daycare 3 days a week for the first time. She is an only child and hasn't had a whole lot of interaction with other kids. She has panic attacks while shes at the sitter. Other kids will be around her, and she starts to cry like she's been hurt, but no one is around her. This is for a solid 15 min, every hour or so. She also refuses to eat anything when she is there. Has anyone else had this issue? Does this go away or will it cause my daughter more harm, mentally, to be there?
2007-11-16 06:42:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Some kids have a harder time than others transitioning to daycare. It's all very new and scary to her. When my daughter started preschool, I just stayed there with her. After a month or so, when she was more comfortable, I started leaving for a short time in the middle of the class (like 5 minutes to start). Gradually, I left for longer and longer periods until she was able to stay the whole 2 hours by herself.
A lot of people will probably advise you to just leave and let her cry, but it sounds like your daughter needs a more gradual approach if you can manage it.
2007-11-16 07:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by daa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Strange as it may sound, she may be better off going 5 days a week. There would be fewer transitions. Her reaction is extreme but not unheard of. Ask the provider what activities she has planned for the next few times your daughter will be there and explain them to her ahead of time. See if there is another child in the program about her age and try and arrange a play date. Give her a picture of you and her dad to keep with her. Don't worry about the eating. In 25 years in the Early Childhood field I never met a kid who held out long enough to starve. Ask for the menu ahead of time and let her know if something she really likes is coming up. Maybe the provider could make 1 or 2 of her favorites. A good provider should work with you on these issues. If yours is not willing to be a little flexible you may have a problem.
2007-11-16 08:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by EC Expert 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put my child in daycare. I wonder if you're doing it for financial reasons or just for the interaction with other kids. I would put my child in preschool at that age, two or three half days a week. That's it. It would have to be very educational too. I would look into other options if you can. Daycare is bad in my opinion. Your daugher could probably benefit from some preschool, but your love is what she needs most. No daycare can even come close to duplicating a mother's love. Ask yourself why you are doing this. Good luck.
2007-11-16 08:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To take her out of daycare will do her more harm mentally.
Think of this logically:
She goes to a new place, she's scared, she cries, she doesn't have to go to the new scary place anymore.
So how is she going to keep reacting???
Some ideas:
enroll her in a play group so she gets exposure to other children
try one day a week, then two, then tree making it a gradual build or shorten the amount of time she spends there
maybe find a smaller daycare with fewer children (if she's currently attending a large one)
By meeting her somewhere in the middle (acknowledging her fear, but still sending her to daycare) this should eventually eliminate the issue.
2007-11-16 06:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by miss_nikki 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each child is different. I think you should take her out of daycare for a little while. Start setting up play dates instead. See how she interacts with other kids on a smaller degree. Start offering her new things. Have people at the park offer her food (not strangers, but people NOT you). Take her to the park, encourage independence. If you don't nip it in the bud now, then what are you going to do when kindergarden comes around?
2007-11-16 06:53:18 · answer #5 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Try spending an hour or two at the daycare with her the next time you can. Show her the fun things to do, and introduce to the new people. Give her some time to warm up to the idea of being there , and then leave. This may help her feel more comfortable the next time you drop her off.
2007-11-16 07:28:04 · answer #6 · answered by Seabrey K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We just put our son in daycare too. He is 2 1/2. He loved it the first day, and then hated it for the next month. He is getting much better. The socialization is so important. (IMHO)
What is going to happen when she goes to kindergarten??? She will be a pro by that time! Stick with it, it will get better. Talk it up to her about how much fun it is and how much fun it is to play with the other kid. Good Luck!!
2007-11-16 06:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by Terrie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I noticed you said 3 days a week. I would recommend if it is not necessary to put your child in day care, then don't put her in day care. But as you said she is 3 years now, so, it is necessary. I agree that before the preschool she should be acquainted with the children otherwise you will face a lot of difficulty when she starts going to school. I would recommend putting her just for 2 months in the day care before she starts going to pre-school. As she is 3 now she must have started going to school. In India children start going to school at the age of 3.
This is pretty normal and it happens with every child. She is hurt that you are putting her away and keeping her in day care. Till this time she was with you at home and now she has started going to day care, she is seeing strangers. Kids don't understand a lot of things, but their memory is very strong and she misses you in day care. That is the reason why she cries.
As she will start going to school soon, you have to make her prepared and I would say you have done a right thing, as she is 3 years now.
What you can do is? Some days you spent time with her in the day care. Just wait and watch. If you see she is getting comfortable with other kids at day care. Since then you don't have to go with your child to the day care. Because now you know she will be able to manage.
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2007-11-16 08:32:44 · answer #8 · answered by vibha j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation anxiety. She has to get used to the other kids, and being away from family. It is better to do it now than to wait for school to start. She needs to know how to interact with other kids, or this will hinder her in developing. Give her time to adjust to the school, it will be fine.
2007-11-16 06:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut. You say she is not tolerating it. So don't make her go. She will be grateful for it. I have a child like that and he was never right at daycare, so I stopped and I am so glad that I did. I hope you have the flexibility to take her out.
2007-11-16 07:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by apmama2four 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋