Do you have any tips for me to avoid another hurtful relationship? I was married for 16.5 years and the divorce is going along swimmingly. No, before you ask, there is zero chance of reconciliation here (she cheated on me). If you've been there & done that "successfully" can U share some pointers of what made it work for you? please?
2007-11-16 06:07:23 · 8 answers · asked by Andy K 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
TYVM my friends! I do plan on keeping a good attitude (that will never change), & I gave up heavy partying & drinking after I got engaged/before I got married (so I don't want to make that same mistake twice!) - hence the real purpose behind my question. Positive, or negative, either view can help me in the long run -- knowing what to look for, or what to avoid can only help me! ;-)
2007-11-16 07:56:12 · update #1
I'm with ausblue! not all women are cheaters.
I am glad things are going well and commend you for standing your ground _nothing is the same once they have betrayed you on so many levels. I wish I had your strength...should have followed my gut feeling but for kids sake gave him a 2nd chance. lol. Can't exactly offer you any tried and true pointers but you will have to look within yourself as well as to others to find those answers...why did your previous relationship take a turn for the worse etc.Above all take things slowly give your self time to heal. We all carry a certain amount of "baggage" from failed/previous relationships. We need to minimise the impact that it is going to have on the choices made should we find someone special later on. Personally, once I get out of this nightmare, it will be along time, if ever before I will venture into a relationship again.
2007-11-16 10:25:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Andy
Rebuilding trust is not an easy process when you have been truly hurt by someone you love or thought you loved and they supposedly loved you - once your divorce is final you may be able to close that chapter and put the past in the past and feel ready to move on to a new relationship.........
You need to accept responsibility for the part you played in the relationship…
Heal yourself..... and most importantly forgive your ex…. Otherwise you run the risk of attracting the same type of person again in the next relationship………
You attract what you project…….. So think positively……….
Don’t carry hurt and resentment – there are good women out there you just need to find the right one for you…….. There are also women who have experienced exactly what you have from their husbands………
Strong bonds of love trust and respect are not built overnight – it grows over time be open and communicate how you feel……..
Good luck
Liz
2007-11-19 02:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Liz G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Similar position. Avoid the booze, the depression and booze nearly killed me.
I have since had to learn to love myself again, and now prefer friendships over relationships.
Not a positive answer Andy, rather negative I think,but useful to pass on. Don't make the same mistakes with in your life, that I did in mine
Cheers Buddy
2007-11-16 14:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, sorry it didn't work out for you, and adultery is always painful, but to be successful in moving on you have to realise that not every women will be the same as you ex.
I didn't trust anyone after my last relationship, but learnt eventually to take every individual as a new experience, and not presume they would carry the same low morals as the man that hurt me before.
Just go out, enjoy yourself and relax, Miss right could be just round the corner ;)
2007-11-17 02:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me and I have never been able to get into a relationship again because the sense of distrust always arises.
I can only wish you success in finding love again Andy.
2007-11-16 15:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry about your problem & for my buddies above me
but just to give you some hope
all women are not cheaters right!!!
i have been married for ever & never cheated in my life,
& WHY you may ask
simply because i chose not to!!
and if you can just get over your hurt you will find a woman that does respect you too much to do the dirt on you!!
2007-11-16 15:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by ausblue 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My big D didn't go 'swimmingly' . I sank straight to the bottom and I didn't even get a life raft.
2007-11-16 14:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by Ink Corporate 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just stick with TARTS, Andy, and you will not get hurt again!!!!! Yes, we've heard about those tarts!!
2007-11-16 21:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by I Heart Holidays... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋