Do you go to the in-laws or the parents' or crazy Aunt Sally's, or do you take a ski weekend with your friends or spouse? Do you go along with the family's plans because you want to, or because you'd feel guilty if you didn't?
For those of you that do your own thing on the holidays, do you feel guilty for skipping out on family plans? Or are you made to feel guilty by family members?
2007-11-16 05:52:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I used to do what was expected of me, and still felt guilty and miserable.
Due to some recent tension with my grandmother over my son, (long, long story). This year I'm doing what I deem best for my son and myself. We won't be attending the family gathering.
Do I feel guilty? Nope, not a bit! I feel stronger, and proud that finally I am able to stand up to them, and am able to look out for my son's best interests as well as my own. I don't have to be her whipping girl any longer, and perhaps it isn't too late to save my son from her influence.
2007-11-16 06:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by Ista 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I enjoy spending time with my family and even my in-laws! My parents are divorced and remarried, plus I have my in-laws, so we pick one family to visit every year. We are lucky in that our other family understands when we're not able to visit and nobody has hard feelings. However, if there was a Christmas where my husband and I agreed that we didn't want to go visit family, I would have no problem taking our kids skiing or something like that. I have no problem explaining to my other family that we need some quality time with the kids!
2007-11-16 05:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by Katie G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We have a rather "open" thanksgiving - that is, we go to grandma's, crazy aunt sally's etc. etc. or maybe the family will gather at our house during that holiday. We also try to round up any "strays" those without family or plans etc. to come with.
Christmas day is reserved for immediate family.
We then have an open house on the 26th (Boxing Day).
We go to church on New Year's Eve.
2007-11-16 06:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the holidays are always challanging for us as both sides of the family live close. In the past we've gone to one house one day, then the other house the next. Over the last couple yrs there has been a lot of drama on my side of the family & we havent felt welcome going to my parent's house.
So this year we're going to my in-law's house for Thanksgiving & going out of town for Christmas. Its a nice way to get away & spend time with people who actually want to be with us.
I hate to sound ungrateful but family has been driving me crazy lately.
2007-11-16 06:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by *D* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm single so I don't have the "in-law" problem, but I was just thinking about that this morning b/c my friends was not too happy about traveling to her inlaws. Anyway, I would just go to my families function as usual even if I was married- I'm always going to be more attached to my own family than a bunch of strangers I married into. I'd let my husband go to his own families function or come with me....it's up to him.
2007-11-16 07:19:27 · answer #5 · answered by artsyfartsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We just told both of our families that it was too expensive to fly home to CA (which is true) and we are going with some other married friends to New York City for 4 days during Christmas. No guilt.
I think every now and then you should do something just within your own family. It needs to be balanced.
2007-11-16 06:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by Phil H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extended family is important. However, you have a family of your own, so that should take precedent. How about a compromise? Pick another time of the year to visit distant relatives.
2007-11-16 06:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lighthouse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually wind up giving in and doing what everyone else in my family wants, which is usually going over to their houses. I tell myself every year that I'm going to just stay at home and if someone wants to see me they can come visit, but I get guilted into visiting everyone else.
2007-11-16 06:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by missmelissa80 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our family usually makes the decision and those who want to come, will, others just don't.
2007-11-16 06:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by Janice Dickinsons' Shrink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to balance it out and do what others want, but also do what i want so i'll be able to enjoy the holkidays.
2007-11-16 05:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋