what do you do when you can't please your parents?

Question

first my parent wanted me to pass all my cxc subjects and i did
when i played cricket i was the vice captain and the las tyear of school we won all matches except for one we won the nationals trophy
i met my boyfriend and i told them before anyone could tell them about him
i am not perfect but i don't do half the rebellious things they claim i do
i am 18 working paying to go to school and doing an IT Diploma

advice anybody

Answer 1

Give up. Stop trying to please them. Once your parents realize that they don't matter as much to you as they thought they did, they'll change their tune. I think you should cherish that relationship, but leave it in the past. Make them have to work for your love and attention. You're growing up and they're messing up with you. Let them figure it out for themselves.

Answer 2

There are some people that you will never please and nothing you do will ever be good enough. Your parents may be those people. You have to decide for yourself.
I used to kill myself to get my parents approval and rarely got noticed or when I did get noticed, it was in a negative way.

When I was about 18, my Mom got very upset at me about something and was really putting me down. Normally it would have thrown me into a panic, but this day I was calm. I let her say what she needed to say and then I went about my business. I had an epiphany that day. I realized that I didn't care what she thought. I realized she was never going to be proud of me or be the Mom I needed her too. I refused right then and there to ever let her hurt or upset me again. I knew right then that no matter what she said, I would do what I thought was right anyway.
It made such a difference in my world. That's the day I became an adult, I think.

Answer 3

Well it's really quite difficult when you have difficulties or sometimes awkward feelings towards your parents. I know what it's like because parents are really perfectionists at times when they see that you cannot keep up with their expectations. Mostly it depends on what and how your parents were raise by their parents too.. Because they try you not to experience the things they did'nt done or had, and this make us children to be in pace to their demands. Did don't want you to experience the bad side of life and that tends them to be strict with the way you live your life. But then if you keep up with your own pace, you have good grades or even better, try to let them feel that you can be the daughter that they can trust on. Time heals all wounds of divisiveness so don't worry about that. I advise you to offer prayers of understanding to your parents. I don't know what religion you belong but i guess prayer will answer,.. God is good always.

Answer 4

Talk to them and say that they did a good job raising you and its time to let you make your own decisions based on what they taught you. Tell them you are glad to follow house rules while you live there but that you expect to be consulted/ involved in the rulemaking.

Then, set goals and standards for yourself and let them be your guide.

I'm a parent of a teenager and I find I often have to stop myself from pushing too hard and let him decide what he needs to do. It's a lot harder than you think. Parents often have a hard time accepting that their children don't need guidance any more. Teaching a child to be independent and then giving them the freedom to live what they're taught are two different things.

Good luck!

Answer 5

When I was your age, I had the same problem. I tried to live my life for my parents to make them happy. One day, I just decided to stop. There comes a time when you have to live for yourself. When I met my husband, my parents were not happy about it. They picked me apart with questions, and accused me of being rebellious. I wasn't drinking, or doing drugs, or anything that they questioned me about. Now they know the truth, and we are closer than ever. Sometimes it takes time for them to realize what is really going on. With all of the bad news in this world, they are bound to accuse you of some of it w/o even thinking of the person that you really are.

Answer 6

Nothing, there's nothing you can do. Obviously your parents are very demanding and at your age, enough is enough, they need to be proud of what they did to you, in the way of kind of pushing you to meet goals..........but, maybe there's not an end to them.
Just don't do anything, but if the occasion comes in where they want to push more, then talk to them, and express how you feel in a respectful, relax manner. Be thankful of the things they have done for you, but they need to trust now their own creation, tell them don't worry, you became a good daughter, with a lot of accomplishments, tell them that you hope they are proud of you as you are of them..............(this will work).

Answer 7

You are 18 years old! You are on your way down the road of life on your own now! You don't have to please your parents anymore. You just have to please yourself!

It sounds like you are a hard working, responsible young person! Your parents are probably pretty proud of you already though they may not express it in ways that you hear it. You are in a time of transition with your parents now. As you move out in the world building your own life your relationship with your parents changes. They begin to see you as an adult and treat you as such. You will look upon them differently also. It is all pretty normal! Don't worry about pleasing them...just keep on doing what you need to do to make your life happen!

Answer 8

I am sure you probably are pleasing them. What I think you desire (it sounds like) is that you want them to express their pleasure for what a wonderful child you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. So it is time to come right out and ask them why they never praise you for all your hard efforts!
They might be of the mindset...oh if we let her know how well we think she is doing, she might start to slack off, so they say nothing. Or they simply do not realize (not on purpose).
My daughter when she was far younger said to me once, mommy you haven't said you are proud of me in a long time. That hurt, but it did show me that it really does mean a lot to her, for me to express myself towards her and let her know how much I love, care and am proud of her!
Bottom line: ask them. Good Luck and keep up the great job you are doing for yourself. :)

Answer 9

Remind your parents that they are lucky to have a hardworking daughter like you, and you'd appreciate a little more positive reinforcement instead of constant demands and blame.

Otherwise, remember that you are an adult and can legally move out and do what you please now. Some people will never be satisfied no matter what you do; but that is their problem, not yours. You have to live your life, and make your own decisions, even if others disagree with it.

Answer 10

Tell them how this really hurts you. Tell that any other parent would be proud to have a daughter like you and THEY should be LUCKY to have a daughter like you.
But also remember that you are 18. You are an adult. You're working AND going to school. At this point, the most important thing is to be proud of YOURSELF! You seem like you have your **** together, so for what it's worth, I'm proud of you!!

:)

Answer 11

You are an adult now. All you need to focus on is pleasing yourself. No matter what you do your parents will be proud of you. They may not say it a lot, but in all reality they want whats best for you. So you just do the best you can throughout your life for you and no one else.