Has the church ever helped your marriage ? LDS answers only Pls?

Question

I am trying to fix my marriage anyway i can . I have finally turned to the LDS church . I was raised lutheran and my husband was raised LDS . I have always been religious . My husband and i have been married for 6 years and have always had serious problems with him always breaking trust . (no cheating) Physically anyway . The rest of our issues is money cause he dosen't handle it responsibly and it makes our kids suffer . We have no communication at all and are in councilling . We just started counciling with our bishop . Also we are suppose to start going to church this sunday . With or without him my kids and I will go but is there any hope . Will the church fix some of our issues cause the spirt will make us stronger ?

Answer 1

One never knows where the motivation or understand will come from which will change our lives and give us the impetus to be better people. President Hinckley has been stressing the importance of being righteous within our homes - selfless, rather than selfish; turning away from false or evil traditions; etc. This is a serious problem in society today and therefor is prevelent within the church as well.

The LDS Church teaches that we are all sons and daughters of a loving Father in Heaven. All virtues [patience, kindness, charity, service, etc] are evidence of our Divine Nature that we inherited. Find those characteristics within yourself. Decide who you want to be and act accordingly.

I, too, struggle with a husband who does not always keep my trust and faith. Many of his issues stem from an unrighteous father's example and my husband's own pride. I cannot change my husband. I can only change myself. BUT --

I am a daughter of God. Sometimes, I do not envy my husband and his 'meet the dad' moment which will come. My greatest concern must be that when I return Home, Father will see that I tried to fulfill my role righteously. As I have developed and kept to this mindset, I have been 'prompted' at times on how to give my husband greater support to overcome his challenges. But, notice the word: 'support'. This is aid and comfort and assistance. Not nagging. Not yelling. Not contentious.

At times the process is slow and heartrending. But through my prayers, I keep my Heavenly Father involved in solving the challenges in marriage. During the worst times, I can feel the love of my Father in Heaven and my big brother, Jesus Christ - even as a physical thing, lifting me and supporting me, giving me Their Strength. And then, suddenly, after much faith and tears, I will see moments of change. A time when I feel as cherished by my husband as I do by my Father in Heaven. And I get a glimpse of eternity.
One of the reasons fairie tales appeal to us girls is simply that our spirits have a latent memory of being cherished as not only a princess, but a daughter of God. We long for that again - because we are all Daddy's girls. And the time will come, when our husbands will understand what that means and entails. And your dreams will come true and your joy will be full.

Answer 2

I would really love to say "Yes, the LDS church will solve all your problems and you'll live a happy successful life" but that simply isn't the case 99.99% of the time (I just made that stat up, but it's likely around there)

I'm only 26 and have been married for almost a year and a half so I don't have the most experience, but I'll give you my thoughts anyway and you can use them how you'd like.

I think in your situation the church can act as a magnafying glass. It can help you focus on what you need to do and how to accomplish it, but in the end, it is really up to you and your husband to make things work. When my wife and I were engaged, we were told by a friend that marriage isn't a 50/50 relationship. It's 100/100. If your husband doesn't put in his 100% then no matter what you do it will be difficult. It certainly can still work, many have done so, but you will have to do so much more.

I definitley think living the principles taught in church will help. I don't know how much or how fast, but it will improve your relationship.

Good luck, and God Bless

Dane

Answer 3

I more or less agree with what's been said here but there are just a couple of things I'd like to add.
You've probably already read "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". Following its counsels is probably the best thing you can do, in my opinion.
Another program that the church recently began is a course called "Strengthening Marriage". It's been a big hit in my stake, and my hubby and I took it. I thought it did an excellent job of teaching both doctrine and also science/psychology. I'd encourage everyone to take it, no matter how good or bad their marriage is. Your bishop will know when/if the next round of the course is scheduled to begin. You can also find the pamphlet at the provident living website (link below).
Best wishes.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are trying everything you know and are willing to make compromises for the marriage. Unless he is willing to work as hard as you are, then there is no amount of counselling that will help. If he was raised LDS, then he apparently isn't living according to what he was taught. If he is willing to follow the Bishop's recommendations and cooperate in counselling, then there is hope. Both parties need to be willing to make changes for the good of the marriage, not just one. That said, the Church also sponsors a 12-step program for addictive behaviors that can be quite beneficial.
My wife and I have been married for 34.5 years. We have gone to counselling at hard times in our lives. We have both been committed to the success of our marriage and our family. I can't stress enough the need for both parties to be committed to the success of the marriage and have the mutual desire to make changes for the better.
Best wishes.

Answer 5

I am LDS, and have recently had some serious marriage problems as well. I recommend going to a non LDS web site of marriagebuilders.com (I have a link in the source list) to consider using with the councilling your receiving.
Some books discussed at the marriage builders web site (written by Willard F. Harley) could really be helpful to you, amazon.com has many of them offered as used books for a lower cost.

For the LDS church and the Bishop to really be able to help, you and husband need to be willing.
Keep in mind, the Bishop can receive personal revelation for your needs, be sure you try and do what ever he assigns you to do even if it may not really make since to you at the time.

You may also consider getting your husband to have a complete physical. An imbalance of thyroid glands, or other things they test could be adding to his problems, or yours.

No one else can "fix" you or your husband, this I have recently had to learn. Your husband can choose to fix what is wrong with him, and you can choose to fix what is wrong with you. Others can point out what areas you may want to fix, then give suggestions on how you might approach the problem. You and he must independently choose to to change your selfs.

The best suggestion I have for you, is consider showing forth extra measures of love and concern for him, try to get him to desire to please you, because you are meeting more of his needs so he is happier with you. I would give similar suggestions to him if I were writing to him.

May God bless you both! sounds like your off to a good start, have patience and love. I have been married about 24 years, and am not perfect yet, but now I am trying to meet my wifes needs.

Answer 6

church helped marriage lds answers pls

Answer 7

That is very possible. But for change to happen people have to be willing. I hope that is the case. I actually volunteer with the church's addiction recovery program. I don't know why I am mentioning that, but I am. Sometimes problems are a lot deeper than we realize. Make sure you are taking care of your needs first. Be where you need to be in your relationship with yourself and that will make the change much more possible. You can always email me if you want. Never give up hope. There is always a great chance for things to turn out well.

Answer 8

Living spiritually can help fix a marriage and the spirituality taught in the LDS Faith is fantastic. However one must choose to live it -- change there life through accepting Jesus Christ.

Your marriage can get better if you BOTH choose to work at it.

I hope for the best for you

D

Answer 9

I hate to tell you, but the church cannot solve your problems. The bishop can provide you with the tools needed to solve your problems and if both of you are willing and implement those tools in your life, then your marriage can be saved. Something to be aware of is that your bishop is not allowed to tell you to split up, so he will do everything to keep you together, even if he thinks that divorce is the right thing for you. But it takes two to put the marriage back together. You and your hubby are the only ones who can fix it.

I am divorced and am well accepted in the church. The bishops gave me a lot of great advice during the course of my marriage, but my ex was simply not willing to do the things to keep us together. Eventually it became very clear that nothing would change, so I either had to accept his bad behavior or divorce. My bishop was very supportive of my decision. We could have kept it together if my ex did the things that the bishop advised, but he refused to do them. I was not perfect, but tried to implement the advise I was given- most of which was just common sense stuff.

Sorry for your struggles- You bishop will help you as much as he can, but without the two of you working together and doing the things you are advised, nothing will change.

Answer 10

The values and principles taught by the LDS Church encourage mutual respect, love and compassion between a couple is so helpful. It is also helpful to feel accountable before God that you are entrusted to love each other. The church can help.