I am meeting a friend I have not seen in a while for dinner. I have a good job and she is still in school. But I would like to have separate checks - do you think it is rude of me and I should pay the whole bill becuase I obviously have more money? The friends is visiting in town for a while.
2007-11-16 04:06:31 · 16 answers · asked by mishkin 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If we should go Dutch - what is the nice way to suggest that? Do you just say - is it ok if we split it? Would that be rude?
2007-11-16 04:08:07 · update #1
Mention that u want to go dutch before the dinner. Set the expectations so that u or your friend would not be disappointed.
2007-11-16 04:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by tj is cool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you would like separate checks, that is perfectly fine! You do not have to feel obligated to pay just because she is in school and you are not.
If the waiter asks, "Will these be separate?" Say yes.
If the waiter drops the check without asking, take it, look at it, and say, "All I have is a credit card, so I will put $25 on my card." and hand it to her. Better if you have cash, you can put your share in it and hand it to her when you're done.
After reading the other answers, I feel the need to make one more comment. When I was a college student I would have never expected someone else to pay for my meal. That's crazy. Also, this isn't a date. It doesn't matter who asked who. It is normal for friends to go to dinner and it is normal to split checks! I wouldn't even bother making excuses for it!
2007-11-16 12:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by Katie G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's just me, but even when people invite me to dinner, I STILL don't expect them to pay for my meal. If she's a good friend of yours and you ask her, "do you mind if we get separate checks?" before you order, she'll probably be fine with it. Don't push the issue too much; she's a friend and it's just dinner, after all.
When I was a starving student I didn't go places to eat when I knew I couldn't afford it. All my friends worked, and they didn't buy meals for me all the time, even when they suggested we go out for dinner.
Be polite and light hearted when you ask, let her know with your tone that it's nothing personal that you want to go Dutch. She's not a date, she's a friend you're meeting for dinner. Chances are, she knows already that you're going Dutch.
2007-11-16 12:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason for your friend to assume that she will be getting a free meal on this one, unless of course, you invited. If you invited her to dinner, then, yes, presumably you would foot the bill. However, if it is a mutual date, then the bill would be split into two. Whether or not you are in a better situation than she is is not her business and should not be taken for granted.
2007-11-16 12:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by vixxen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With our friends, it has always been the rule that we split the check when dining out. There are times when someone has done something special and to thank them, we offer dinner out on us the next time. The next time you chat with your friend about the dinner arrangements just say that you would like to split the check.
2007-11-16 12:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on who asked who to dinner. If you asked your friend out then you should pay if vice versa your friend should pay.
However there is also the difference in financial standing as well in which it might be nicer for you to pay. I remember when i was a student I could barely afford mac and cheese with tuition costs.
The other option is just to talk to your friend about it.
My situation is slightly different but when I go back to IL to visit friends and family I will be staying at a friends house but I will take him out to dinner and pay because he is putting me up for the week.
2007-11-16 12:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're that cheap, just go to McDonald's and pay for the poor kid's hamburger so it doesn't cost you so much. Sheesh.
Does your friend think that you have invited her to dinner? If so, she would probably be a little taken aback when you told the waitress "separate checks, please" while you were ordering. Don't be surprised if she orders a small salad and water, in that case.
What I would do is say, "My treat this time -- when you have a job, it will be your turn!" Or meet her for coffee, or something less expensive.
2007-11-16 12:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
hello mishkin,
I think it is not rude but inconsiderate for a "friend" who would ask a student to pay the bill. I think as a professional the outlook is that somehow, you earn your keep and your friend does not yet.
If you were both professionals, it may be understandable.
No offense meant but sometimes, to be able to really learn how to give, is to give until it hurts a little. :) well considering the effect of the restaurant cost on your budget. :)
take care and hope you treat your friend to a good restaurant. Especially if he or she is a friend for keeps.
take care and have a nice day.
2007-11-16 12:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by GorbanZus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you asked your friend to go out to dinner then it should be u to pay if the dinner was mutual then i would suggest that you split the bill.
2007-11-16 12:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Rosie T 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be great if you asked for separate checks or is it ok if we split it.
She may not have as much money as you, but that doesn't mean she gets a free ride all the time!
2007-11-16 12:09:57 · answer #10 · answered by Flatpaw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋