If you loaned someone $20 several months ago and they have made no attempt to pay you back, what would you do?

Question

I realize that it’s only $20 but what bugs me the most is the person who borrowed it. My husband’s friend’s wife texted me one day and asked if I could lend her $10 or $20 as she didn’t have any money left until payday. I agreed and even met her by her job so she wouldn’t have to worry about driving to me. She seemed very grateful at the moment, however, I now believe all she wanted was to use me. That happened probably two and a half or three months ago.

I called her about a month ago to see what she was doing, not related to the money at all, and she kind of brushed me off because she had company. So I left it at that. She has never made an attempt to pay me back, and she hasn’t even called to talk or anything. I can’t imagine that she is dodging me over $20 so that’s what makes me think she just wanted to use me.

We were never real friends. We would only talk when our husbands got together, or on the rare occasion they invited us to go somewhere. I tried hard to make a friendship out of it, but she always had excuses. I would ask her to go places and she would say they never had any money or she couldn’t find a babysitter. But she made a way to go where she wanted to go with whom she wanted to go with. I invited her to our home, without her husband, and she never had gas money. But she invited me over a couple of times and I accepted. She made me feel very welcome in their home and we even talked about some personal things.

I am not upset because she didn’t make a friendship out of it. I am upset because I don’t understand why she has never called me back to say anything – “I can’t pay you right now” or “I lost my job” or something. My husband is also upset about it. He wants to tell her husband but he wasn’t supposed to know. It’s really not that big of a deal I guess. I am the type of person who will help you if I can, but it makes me mad as **** when I even think somebody is trying to get over.

Answer 1

Never lend her more money. She won't return it. when people tend to ask for borrowed money and they don't pay you back immediately then ur screwed.

Answer 2

Whether she used you or not.......she lost a good friend. Someone she could go to when she needed her for money or other things. You seem like a great person and would have helped her out in any way you could.
SHE knows what she has done wrong or is doing wrong so she does not keep in touch with you anymore.
A friend of mine gave me some money when i visited her one day, i asked her what she was doing, she said i had lend her that amount when we went shopping on blah blah blah date, now that is a good friend.
I had forgotten about it, now you forget what you did for her. Be friendly with her when she speaks with you. Hopefully one day she will hand over the amount she owes you.
Next time IF you call her, start the conversation with,"Hi, i just called to say hello and hope things are going well with you". If she says she is busy, then just end it with, "No problem, I'm glad you are OK, and hope to talk to you again some other time, bye bye".
When people 'borrow' because they don't have enough for gas, food....10 or 20 dollars....i leave it alone. If they pay, OK, if they don't, OK...BUT when it is being done quite often, then i have to stop lending it out to that person. THEN if they do pay back all the time...well, then i keep lending...I'll stop now......take care.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you may have gone to school and paid a $20.00 tuition fee. The lesson learned was a very old and factual one - Neither a lender nor a borrower be.

Loan some money - lose a friend.

How you continue the relationship is up to you. But as for the money, you can find some way to ask for repayment tactfull or just forget it.

Pin your diploma on the wall. Unfortunately it cost you a little money but not so much as it hurt more than your feelings. Just be glad it was not more. Next time she, or anyone, asks for help you just have to say, sorry, I am a little short at the moment - let that end it in a nice way.

Answer 4

Very strange behavior -- first of all, asking for such a small loan and second of all, acting so weird about it afterwards.

It doesn't sound like this is someone who is ever going to be a friend, anyway. Just figure that the $20 was a cheap way to figure out just what kind of person she was and shrug it off. It's almost a sure bet she'll never call you again!

Answer 5

Sounds to me as though there are more financial difficulties there than you are assuming. I would even go so far as to say that it's likely the husband doesn't know that she is borrowing money. To ring a mere acquaintance to ask for money is not something that is done lightly. I think she does not have the means to pay the money back and is possibly ashamed of that fact.

I would do nothing at all in your situation.

Answer 6

If it was a good friend that borrowed the money I would say forget about it. If you are not that good of friends and you are not concerned about what she may think of you then call her and ask her to pay you the money back. Or you can call her and ask to "borrow" $20 from her. You could also ask your husband to talk to his friend and have him explain that his friend's wife borrowed the money and now avoids you.

It may be she has a "money problem" such as a gambling addiction and cannot pay you back and does not want you or anyone else finding out about her problem.

Answer 7

Be honest and tell her how you feel it's not so much the money issue is it??? It the ignoring you and dodging that hurts. Decide if the friendship is worth losing over 20.00,but know you can never loan her any money.. Time to let it go her loss not really yours.. Sounds like she is not friend material and be glad she only got away with 20 dollars.

Answer 8

You know what? I understand, WE all know how you feel, but some are more aggressive than others.
This is what I would do. I'll call her on the phone and say:," hi, blah,blah, what time are you home tomorrow? because I am going to get some stuff and I will stop at your house at that time because I need the $20, you owe me, and I will need them for some stuff I really need to get."
If she tells you she doesn't have it, then ask , OK. tafter tomorrow? don't let her give you weeks and weeks, tell her you REALLY need them! .....push her!! push her, push her!!!

No, there's nothing wrong about you getting your money back. Why are you holding yourself when is YOUR money???? Hell with these people that just takes advantage , but some of you, allow it..... if she has the nerve to play "forgetful", why don't you have the nerve and be "remindful".
And yes................you right....next time, DOESN"T exist. I really don't care if she looses the house payment because she's short $10.00!!
Trust me, is not that I am mean...but people ask for it, now, who has less headaches, you guys or me?

And for people who owes money and read this...c'mon you guys...pay back!!

Answer 9

we have a saying in england, never be a borrower or lender be,
number 1, phone up again, and nag for that money back,
number two, tell her no way will you ever ask again for money off me, nor will you be my friend ever again i lent you that money, in trust for you too pay it back, and you have not, let her husband know as well, she earns a wage, does she not like you, then there should have been no excuses.
i would get things down in writing next time you lend money out
good luck, and yes she usede you, but dont accept these weak feeble excuses anymore keep nagging for it back, even if you only get $2 a week back at a time okay.

Answer 10

That sucks. I'd chalk it up to a lesson learned and just not associate with her anymore.

I try to never borrow or lend money to friends but life doesn't always cooperate and I have loaned and have had to borrow before. As long as the "payback" is firmly established, it's OK on occasion.

In the future, if you decide to loan someone money, have them leave you a postdated check (on the day they get paid) for the amount. As soon as that date hits, deposit the check.

Answer 11

Get ur money back! it would be differant if this is someone in ur family or a close friend that still talked to you after you lended the money and was maybe having financial problems at the time, but this woman is even ignoring ur ph calls! my next call to her would be asking for my 20 bucks back!