I am think of having kids next year?

Question

okay i wanted to have a baby by next year or in 2010 i love babies but the thing is that is bother me is not just find a good father is that everyone is telling me that i should breastfeed my baby but i don't wanted i feel like am sexual abuse my baby reason i think of that is because i was abuse for 10yrs. so i know its good for the baby but i am not comfortble what should i do

Answer 1

Keep getting yourself on track and going towards your goals. Do not worry about the baby thing just yet, things will fall in to place for you.

You have time. Find the right partner that will support you throught out the rest of your life and be a good father to your kids. Someone who will be there for them and you and be willing to help when it comes time for diapers, tantrums and school.

You past will shape you into the mother you will be. Take what you learned and make it work for you. If you have issues that you can not over come, there are many other ways to raise your baby that are good choices. Take advantage of any programs in your area to help prepare for a baby and help you once the baby is here.

The bottom line is, if you are not comfortable with breast feeding you do not have to do it. I do not believe that your baby will suffer any major problems if you choose to bottle feed milk (pump breast milk) or formula. Breast milk is really the best nutirents for your baby, it was made for them, but formula has come a great way and will be enough for you baby. Formula is expensive, $22-$25 a container and you will go through at least 1 a week in the beginning.

I do think that as you get closer to having a baby your feelings might change somewhat and you might become more comfortable with breastfeeding, but again you do have options. Babies are a huge responsibility both emotionally and financially. Just start to plan. If you work see how much daycare is in your area and try and see if you can save that and still live on the $ you have. This way when the baby gets here you will have $ saved to either cover the first few months of daycare, or to use for diapers and clothes.

Do what you can to give your baby a better chance that you had, that is the goal I have set for myself.

Answer 2

Hormones kick in and you do what is right. My wife breast fed all three kids. The girl was stronger and didnt need it but for 4 months. Its a great bonding experience. Mother Nature should help curb your uneasiness. Or you can use the pump, pump your milk and feed your milk from the bottle. But I would talk with a social worker MSW to look at any unresolved issues first. Also plan the month of your child, schools cut off is in October so you dont want a Oct baby. If the baby comes in beginning of Dec then you get the tax writeoff for that year.

Answer 3

If you havnt already, I would think the best thing to do now would be to work on goals in general and then also if there are any issues still from the abuse, work those out or at least through those, long before having kids.. Then think about relationships, then think about babies. I think its great your'e waiting and seem to have a good head on your shoulders that you are thinking about these things. And havent mentioned any kind of career, so look into that too.

From your earlier questions it looks like you have a lot of life out in front of you to enjoy.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Breast feeding is better for the baby than formula, there's little doubt about that, but formula IS OK! Don't let people pressure you to much about it if you're that uncomfortable. Or, if you think it would help, you can always use a breast pump and feed your baby breast milk from a bottle, it's kind of the best of both worlds.

Answer 5

breast feeding is the very best thing you can give your (future) baby. there are many moms who breast feed even after a sexually abusive past. I think you learn to put those feelings away and just think of what's the very best for the baby.

There is also the option of pumping and feeding out of a bottle if actual nursing doesn't work out - but I highly recommend at least trying.

Answer 6

OMG! No father in mind and you have hangups from your abuse? The breasts were put on a woman to nourish her offspring. I would suggest getting some counseling on this matter before you even think about having a child. Secondly how can you find a good father when you are most likely having issues with ALL men from your past abuse. Get some mental help first.

Answer 7

i think that you should wait till you are mature enough to care for a child. Clearly your not very mature, judgeing by the way you asked your question. Breastfeeding IS NOT sexual abuse! and maybe you should wait until your in a STABLE relationship, and you, yourself are mature enough to take care of a family. The last thing this world needs is another child in foster care because the parrents werent mature enough to take care of the child properly.

Answer 8

if your not comfortble with the idear of breastfeeding then bottle feed you baby will still be happy and heathy thats all that matters.
or you could express breast milk in to a bottle and feed your baby that way. then your baby geting breasfeed and you happy too.

Answer 9

U NEED TO ATTEND SOME LALACHE LEAGUE CLASSED ITS ALL ABOUT BREAST FEEDING AND WHY IT GOOD FOR THE BABY U WILL UNDERSTAND WHY ITS NOT SEXUAL BLESS UR HEART AND IF IT SEEMS TO BOTHER U TO MUCH FORGET IT THERES BOTTLES NOW I DONT UNDERSTAND ABOUT FINDING A FATHER ~~~~~~~

Answer 10

Until you can place your child's needs above your own, you are not emotionally mature enough to have a child.

Please reconsider giving yourself enough time to focus on just you for a while.

Your future children will thank you for it I promise.