meeting the parents?

Question

My fiance [well his family or mine don't know that we're engaged yet] has invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. His family hasn't ever known about me because he's been away at college. We've just been putting it off telling our families. It'll be for a week & I'm nervous. I've never stayed over w/ a guy at a folks home & I'm nervous. He says they'll love me, but idk. Advice?

Answer 1

Do you mean that you've never met his parents before and they don't know that you are engaged, or that they don't even know about you? His being away at college is no reason for him never to have mentioned you to them if you have a really serious relationship, and I would be concerned about that. I would suggest that if they didn't know about you at all that you don't use Thanksgiving as the opportunity to spring your engagement on them; it may be too much to absorb at once. If you are just the girlfriend, you can be a nice person of whom they would approve. If you are someone he didn't dare tell them about for years, they won't like you. Otherwise, be helpful and a good houseguest (don't take too much time in the bathroom, make the bed, keep things clean, offer to help them set the table, clean up, etc. Be complimentary - about their home, their food, etc. Show that you care about their son (not by making out with him in front of them, but treat him well - this is not a time for sarcasm or "mean" teasing - and gentle touching like hand-holding or squeezing his arm lovingly. Let them know that you appreciate him, and therefore them for having produced and raised such a wonderful son.

Answer 2

Youre engaged and they dont know about you yet?!?!?!?!?!?
Marriage is a pretty big step. A HUGE step. Especially for college students!!!
I wouldnt be so nervous about meeting them and staying in their house as I would be about the fact that Ive never met my fiances parents before, and that theyre going to be pretty shocked that the nice girl sitting across the table is ready to devote the rest of her life to their son already!
I dont know how long youve been in this relationship, but if its not been long enough for them to find out about you, and youve both been putting off telling your families, maybe youre not ready for a relationship as serious as marriage.
Good luck though,
and dont worry,
his parents will love you.

Answer 3

I agree with earlier coments regarding..........I would wonder why he didnt let you even just talk to his parents on the phone or send them pics or something..........my nephew is getting married in june ..........Ive never met her and im in TX and he in FL .........however, he has sent pictures for months and always speaks so hig)hly of her and how much he is in love.
I had a personal bad experience.......well I was the one to get married and Im a mother of three , a widow at the time and "he" didnt even tell his mother untill the last min. Even I already new her as a friend of my family etc........But for me to be married to her son was a whole dif story..........my point is that EVERY one is Dif and you want know until your there, yet your guy seems to think every thing will be fine........so mabe just trust him...........i just know after what ive been through......meeting the futrue inlaws is a very important thing..they dont like to be sprung on.....now im with a guy that his mother and i have a blast together and she has alot of respect for and loves me like her daughter. My sis is just now breaking up with her fiance/engaged and all.....because of his parents...........so again ...........go by your gut feeling and pray...........is it possible to just say your getting serious and wait and not rush into it...im 45 so my thinking is more on the cautious side..........best of luck........hope you found your prince charming..........

Answer 4

Respect their home, be polite and address them nicely and always say thank you. Just be sweet and charing and smiley a winner is always say you must be so proud of your son he is a lovely man. etc etc ... say wow you have a lovely home.. thank u so much for having me.
Just act like you do when you go to visit a relative when you were younger, elbows off the table etc.
If he is keen to show you off to them then he must know you will hit it off.
A week is a long time for the first meet.
Good lkuck.

Answer 5

Well if they love their son, they are going to love and accept you no matter what. Just be yourself! Find out what your sleeping arrangement is going to be, that could be awkward, some parents don't mine you sleeping in the same room, others are still old-fashioned and wouldn't approve of it. I'm sure they will love you! Good Luck!

Answer 6

Don't be the big surprise at Thanksgiving dinner! Make sure that his parents know that you coming and that it is okay. And if it's okay, just be yourself! And make sure to pack a robe, parents like that a girl will respect them enough to cover up their nightcloths.

Answer 7

Just think that you wouldn't be the first girl to do it and also the last one.So,it's a thing done before and can be done now .Of course,like with others before you,anxiety,nervousness,thrill and expectations are going to be part of the situation and be acceptable.Have a nice time.

Answer 8

Be yourself
Be helpful
Listen when people are talking and you will get a feel for them
ask to sleep in separate rooms and tell your boyfriend no funny business and you will impress his family in that regard

GL

Answer 9

meeting the FIL< is always stressful and to do it at Tday is very stressful, just be you, most mothers hate their sons GF, esp when they find out they got engaged,, she will appear to like you , but she wont,,

Answer 10

Go, be yourself and have fun. Sleep in seperate rooms if you want their respect.