Who can forgive and forget?

Question

Research on chimps and baboons suggests that males of their species can forgive their petrol mates or group members after some time while females keep their grudges for a longer time, sometimes all through their life and never forgive the ones that wronged them. Does the same apply to humans too??

Ask yourself: for how long can you hate someone who wronged you? may be there lies the answer

Answer 1

FORGIVING someone for something stupid they've done/said is an act of God.

FORGETTING is out of the question.

I really don't have a problem with either.

However, for me...what usually follows forgiving/forgetting is INDIFFERENCE.

When I no longer hold the 'forgivee' in high-esteem, they can be sitting next to me, catch on fire, need me to spit on them to cool them off...AND...I wouldn't open my mouth!

Answer 2

By the way you ask it, it sounds like you ALREADY know the answer...

I don't really hold grudges (at least not all the time, hehe)... I see no point in doing it.

However... I think I forgive too much but I most definitely do not forget it...

There was a time when a few of my friends did something wrong (example; they gossiped about me), I keep letting it slip... And until today, they still continue to do it... again, and again... And now I stay away from them... And hang out with other people (:
So yes, I do hold some grudges actually :P

Answer 3

I think it depends on who wronged you and what they actually did.

Say a partner cheated on you. You can either not forgive and not forget. Perhaps then the best thing for you both is to move on and go your separate ways. But if you decide to stay together you must find a way to forgive and forget otherwise the relationship would be destructive.

But lets say someone at work betrays you behind your back in a work-related situation, perhaps in such circumstances it is best to not forget as it helps you to be more cautious in the future, either with the person that betrayed you or other at people at work.

Like I said, it depends on the circumstances and I don't think men are always necessarily better at forgetting or forgiviing.

Answer 4

Forgiving is an acquired trait and entails a kind of chosen attitude. Therefore,It's feasible.Forgetting is not under our control as we can't erase our memories at will.How ever,coupled with forgiving,we can put our associated memories on hold or to a back ground.As far as the extension of findings on chimps/baboons to humans is concerned,it can be fairly accurate to assume that women hold on to grudges longer than men,though not because they are women but may be,due to their psychological make up.

Answer 5

Oh E Oh Ah Ah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang
I can forgive and let go but not forget. I don't constantly throw it in there face but I will not be able to for get what they have done.
My bf is another story he for gives but never let you forget that you have hurt him.
Oh E Oh Ah Ah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang

Answer 6

well. i can never hate a person who has cheated/lied to me forever. i mean, there will always come a time when ill be able to forgive him but i sure wont forget what he did to me. there will always be that scar left in me but ill be able to forgive him, certainly.

Answer 7

It's sometimes really hard to forgive....
Some people never give forgiveness to people who have done them wrong...
But,nobody has ever gurt me that much.....
I do forgive,'cause I'm being forgiven,too...
Everyone has done something that they don't like,right?
But,I never forget,,,
Things that people do change my feelings about them.....

Answer 8

I can forgive....but I NEVER forget!!! Forgiveness is self preservation...you'll explode if you hold anger in too long...but never forget how you were wronged..

Answer 9

i cant forgive and neevr forget