Have you ever had an ex who left you for someone else?If so how did you felf?
2007-11-16 00:08:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The pain, betrayal, and humiliation is indescribable. It really feels like a part of you has been ripped out and the hole left open and bleeding.
My husband of 18 years told me on the anniversary of my dad's death 3 days after Christmas that he was leaving me and our two children aged 12 & almost 6 to continue an illicit affair he'd been having for 18 months under my nose with a married woman of another race almost young enough to be his daughter. They wrecked two families between them before they moved on to prey on others. This paragraph doesn't begin to describe how the rug was pulled out from under us emotionally, financially, and every other way you can imagine. He had naturally accumulated quite if bit of debt during this clandestine affair and either wasted or hid almost 1 million dollars that we had received from the sale of the company I had spent my working life helping him build instead of pursuing my teaching career as planned. Since I was a part-time working stay-at-home mom it was quite a blow to the pocketbook to try and come back from that, hire an attorney, and try to support the kids with the huge mortgage payment and other bills he left behind. During this time, he was also addicted to alcohol & prescription pain pills, suffering from bi-polar mood swings and abusive rages, and trying his best to shift blame back to me somehow for the break-up of the marriage because I had the nerve to file papers to stop him from further bleeding the bank accounts and refusing to just put up with it all. As bad as that sounds, it does not begin to describe how horrible it was to be living it. Over the next year or so, I uncovered more and more of the secrets and lies, including a loan he talked my sick bereaved mother into giving him under false pretenses that was spent on his bimbo. This put her in a financial bind as well as upset her emotionally so much that it worsened her heart condition (she'd had a stroke only months before the loan). She died suddenly of a heart attack two years after the separation while the divorce proceedings were going on, a week or so after a particularly rough patch of custody/visitation fights that he had put her in the middle of. To this day, I know in my heart that this situation broker her heart and contributed directly to her death--however, he has never acknowledged responsibility for this or many other of the horrible aspects of this ordeal. The day the divorce was final, our oldest son had severe abdominal pain that sent us to the emergency room. My ex accused me of having him "fake" it for drama. I literally had to leave him in the emergency room under observation to go to the courthouse and sign papers. The ex dropped back by the hospital for about 5 minutes before rushing off (as usual couldn't handle it) and I spent the next two days at the hospital with my son undergoing tests.
Fast forward about 10 years to what I really wanted to tell you--as bad as all that above was going through it, my life now is better for having survived it! I have remarried a wonderful man who loves and appreciates me and is everything my sorry ex never was--a faithful husband, a caring dad to my children, a sincere Christian, not to mention a wonderful lover.
My faith grew stronger through all the bad times to help me learn to trust in God (and not much else!) and to really grow up and take stock of what's important and what's not in life.
Sorry this was so long, but no way could you begin to understand the feelings without knowing the story, plus I had to end it with the hopefulness of the happy ending!
2007-11-16 00:30:16 · answer #1 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, that happened to me once. One of my ex's left me for my best friend. They lasted 2 weeks and then he was begging me to take him back. I was like "Sorry buddy, you screwed up and now I'm moving on with my life." At the time it really hurt me (because we had been together for 3 and a half years), but it was a growing experience which I needed to go through to be the person I am today.
2007-11-16 00:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have. Many years ago.... it was my very first serious boyfriend and we were together from age 17 to 19 and I thought he was THE ONE and we would be together forever. Unfortunately, he had other thoughts and broke up with me for another girl. I was absolutely heart broken and thought I would never get over him. I actually carried a torch for him for a couple of years afterwards but time eventually healed my broken heart and I went on to meet the real love of my life and have been with him ever since. Funny to think about it all now....I believe everyone has one person in their life that they think they will never get over but fortunately we do!
2007-11-16 00:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, It has happened to me more than once. I have endured a lot of physical pain, But NOTHING compares to being left for someone else. Even though my ex left me some months ago I am still unable to sleep at night because of what she done to me.
2007-11-16 00:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by canyon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES.. and i felt sooo bad about it... i hate him and ihated myself... it was very excruciating... i loose my self esteem... but u know what, after a couple of months, blessings cme in... i met this very amazing guy that not only heald me but complete my whole being... i forgve him though the hurt is still there... but u cannot be totally happy if ur still bitter... it's not easy to move on, it takes time... but u should help urself too... try to be happy, try to go out with ur friends, cry alot if u have to, then u will feel very good..
goodluck!..
2007-11-16 00:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by nicole1606 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have and it was very painful for awhile. Time eventually heals all broken hearts and it was a life lesson that I learned very quickly! I met my soul mate a few years later and have been together for 22years now.
2007-11-16 00:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by Karen S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband had a lot of "someone elses" during our marriage. But they never lasted. When I finally got smart and grew a set of balls, I divorced him. Last I knew, he was still going through a lot of someone elses. Just not on my dime any more!
2007-11-16 00:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i haven't but im really sure that i wouldn't like it:p
for example cheating and being cheated on :S:S
anyways.. being exchanged for another really sucks.
but on the other hand, he or she found her ''real'' love and realizes your not it. it does suck but you cant do anything about it. he or she will miss the time of there lfie with you and you'll find someone else to spend your life with and being happy. the hard part is finding someone before you get to old:S
2007-11-16 00:20:39 · answer #8 · answered by peter54354 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. I felt like crap. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be loved. I felt like a failure. Then I realized he was the jerk, not me and moved on.......
2007-11-16 00:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
yes
at first i was a bit angry at myself, for a day, and then i thought "ha! they deserve each other"
2007-11-16 00:17:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋