How do you deal with people who have 'issues'?

Question

You know those people who you get an uneasy feeling being around because there's something about them that's not quite right.

I'm not just talking about people with serious mental health problems (although it could be them too), but about those people who function normally in society but there is something about the way they act that is not quite right and either makes you uneasy being around them or makes them a pain in the backside to be around (e.g. people who constantly moan and do nothing to improve their situation)?

I'd be interested to hear from anyone on the subject but particularly from people who work in the caring professions e.g. social workers, counsellors, psychologists, etc (please state if you do work in that type of field.

Hmmmm. What if staying away is not an option. What if as part of your job you have to deal with them for example?

madforMACS and Etheesdad - How very judgemental of you, to assume that I feel no compassion or empathy for people who have issues. I wasn't asking if there issues were justifiable I was asking how other people deal with people who have issues. I asked the question because I'm trying to gather the evidence to substantiate an observation that the majority of people who do NOT work in the mental health field would choose to avoid people with issues. My choice of terminology reflected that I am reaching out to an audience that wouldn't understand the technical jargon used by mental health professionals. Personally, I do not judge those around me and I talk to all kinds of people from all walks of life and I reach out to people with serious mental health problems (e.g. MPD) because I recognise that they are people with illnesses and by socially excluding we are excacerbating their problems. I find it interesting that you both chose to attack me rather than answer the question I asked.

Dice - I have a job honey. Check my profile.

Answer 1

Im a student mental health nurse and have experienced (personally and in friends/relatives) mental illnesses. I don't find it hard to deal with mentally ill people because I empathise with the fact they don't wish to be that way.

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable for your safetly then I would avoid them/tell someone if necessary. If you just find them annoying dont hang around with them!

Answer 2

ya hi im a social worker of many years and I find your question interesting. You sound as though you have a lot of personal stress 'dealing' with people who have (for want of a better term) mental health issues. I dont mean to be rude or anything but you might want to start by taking a look at your own feelings and try to figure out why you're so troubled when you're around the people you describe.

Ever wonder what its like to live in their shoes? Ive spent years working with very troubled people and you might be horrified to hear the sort of lives people have had that brings them to acquire the status you refer to as being 'a pain in the backside'.

"those people" (your words) probably have a pretty horrible lot of it when colleagues and others around them label them this way and, perhaps, treat them with distain.

Is this the sort of person you are?

If you are a strong and likeable kind of person you could really make a positive impact on peoples livesby just being nice, and perhaps not blaming others for your own feelings of discomfort around people you're unsure of?

Answer 3

Just as long you do not impose your opinion on others, the person you think is having a mental problem can always leave you alone and make new friends. Say nice things about them, they will leave your life and they will make new friends.

He probably hates you too but he is much better brought up.

I have unseasy feeling about a lot of people. I just wished I have good instincts about making money so that I can get out of the house more often and breathe other types of air instead just the one in the house.

Answer 4

Be an avid listener first. Listen for key phrases such as might be the result of an interest in hurting or using someone.
Allow the person to speak and be determined to be objective.
And to be sure it is a valid 'uneasy feeling' and not just something inside YOU (such as unresolved fears or anxiety), try to find out what they claim to be their interest/s and then see if they can follow up with experience. A person who fantasizes about sex with a 6 year old but claims to be an avid painter will not generate a high energy response in you to know more; their delivery will be fragmented and hollow.

Answer 5

My first thought here is, what are your "issues"? Everyone has them, think about that, what might people be thinking about your quirks?

Next, there is a thing in life called compassion, ever heard of that? Not everyone grows up in the Ozzie and Harriet perfect American family (most don't) and some even grow up in nightmareish homes full of abuse and neglect. You need to understand those facts and give people more slack.

If they are moaning about their situation, what are YOU doing to help is my question? How about YOU getting off your backside and lending a hand?

Sounds to me as if YOU are moaning here about something that is very trivial and shows YOU need to examine YOUR own issues in life about others.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Louise everyone has different opinions of how people should act. If you're struggling to get your shopping into your car from tesco and a strange man comes over to help you might think he is a weird and panick,yet someone else might appreciate the help as he was only trying to be nice.

Answer 8

I stay the hell away from them. That feeling that says to you "Something is not quite right", well, that's your subconscious mind, pointing out something that your conscious mind didn't pick up on. Small details, like dirt on their fingernails, tiny stains that could be spilled jelly... or perhaps dried blood. They always say it's the quiet ones that do the most damage. Think about it, if someone ran around, screaming "I'm a sociopath!", no one would want to hang out with that person.

Answer 9

I call it Lost their mind syndrome, something in their life is not right, i use to be something like that, uneasy very laid back ( lazy) i could make people laugh but i could be very agitating. Its something mentally unstable within them because something traumatic or something that influenced or affected them very deeply has happened, because of something in their head. Whether it would be a memory of something, doubts, being headstrong... etc.... with such occurrences in their life playing like a video over in their head over and over, degrades themselves into being less, and you feel that instance of such when you are around them, in means of long story short.

Answer 10

Im not in any field....but people who have issues, carry DRAMA all over their forehead.

people who have issues dont take the time to solve their problems at a mature level

instead, they point fingers and act the innocent one.

I HAVE experienced that with a horrible friend...and its retarded to the max

and i have learned

that if you stay away from people that have issues

your life, your mood, your attitude tends to become better-==-you can breath!

a 'friend' with issues in my opinin isnt worth the fight to save them and change them if you tried more than once