Another question about work etiquette! My husband is constantly being invited to events for the firm he works for. Some things are purely social such as a dinner or a sporting event...but some things ar more work related such as a training seminar at a local hot spot or an informational session/cocktail party. Spouses are invited to all the events and my husband usually RSVPs for the two of us.
Now, I don't know how to ask this...but, I am wondering if it is appropriate to attend these events that are more "work related" and maybe it's not a question of etiquette but rather how it looks if I attend all of the functions....does it seem that my husband and I are too attached, too clingy? does it speak to my support of his career? good? bad? neutral?
2007-11-15 20:50:16 · 8 answers · asked by joellemoe 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thanks Jovan. I agree with what you said...I think the thing is that my husband actually spends MORE time with the people he works with than he does with me so anything outside of normal work hours generally comes with an invitation to spouses...and while he gets along with the people he works with, he doesn't really LIKE them all that much nor does he feel like he wants to socialize with them to any great extent so even when it is a hybrid event (work/social) he brings me to "grease the social wheels" so to speak....plus, I am a housewife so my schedule is flexible and I like to be involved when I can...just don't want to appear like a hovering mom or something.
2007-11-15 21:10:07 · update #1
Thanks, Ema...yeah, he likes me ;-)
2007-11-15 21:10:54 · update #2
I agree, Ellie but he is one of two married associates. The other has a baby so her husband stays home with the child...so it's very iffy on that front.
2007-11-15 22:02:00 · update #3
Please attend all of the functions Sweetie! Your going with him can only spell 'GREAT' for him and his career!!!
2007-11-15 23:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It can depend a lot on the habits of others in the company (kind of hard to gauge when you're one of two married couples, huh?!) but I'd agree that in certain positions it can good for the spouse to, as you said, 'grease the wheels". My husband is a very academic, 'cut and dry" (correct phrase, I think?) kind of man and I am more social than him. I often get roped into company events and also into hosting people in my home. I try to divide them- if it is more work-related I probably go to 1 out of 3 or 4 events, and if it is a more socially focused event I do my best to show up. Like you, I'm in a position where my husband spends more time at work in the first place; the employers are generally aware of this, even in a large corporation, so making it clear that there is a supportive spouse has it's advantages for your husband. - Most companies, if they get the impression there is an UNsupportive spouse, may bypass an employee for certain duties. I've seen this happen to people who had obviously clingy and/ or unhappy with the situation spouses. I balance it, as I really have no desire to sit around discussing polymer science once or twice a week! Kids can be very helpful in this regard! ("Oh, so sorry I can't show up,, the baby, you know....")
2007-11-16 06:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From a guy's perspective, no right or wrong here.
For me, I'm proud to introduce my wife and daughter to my colleagues and friends. I do differentiate events where two of us should be go together and not others.
Generally speaking, I'd invite my wife/daughter to leisure functions (such as bowling competition organized by company ). But if it's a networking event (such as a dining & meeting a delegation from Dubai) then I wouldn't ask her along. Regardless if company specify spouse are welcome.
It's not so much how others see us, it's more of having that personal space to do our own things. She also has her girlfriends to hang out with which I don't tag along.
2007-11-16 05:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by jovan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would surely NOt go to every single event. That would look hoverish ( is that a word) and like you didnt have anything better to do. Maybe not so many of the training seminars ( very few if any ), the social things, ya go to all ( or as many as you can ) of those.
2007-11-16 13:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ONLY go to "functions" that you are comfortable with. All of the functions don't require that you be there. YOU have the common sense to determine what and when you want to do "anything." Again, I want to wish you the best.
2007-11-16 14:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by In God We Trust 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it speaks of support and the fact that he loves u and u love him....u should be thrilled hes asking and wanting u to go with him...im sure a ton of men would use the oppritunity to leave there wifes at home and do god only knows what...i think its a great thing and i think u should go...thats just my opinion though......
2007-11-16 05:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by medic327little 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you like attending them, so do. If the invitation includes you, it means they want you to attend.
2007-11-16 07:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can tell by the number of spouses
that keep attending, again, and again.
2007-11-16 05:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by elliebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋