When one of my best friends got a promise ring (about a year ago) she talked about, but nothing offical, about how I would be her Maid of Honor. Now she has been offically engaged for over two monthes, and ever since the beginning of the engagement, she said I was her maid of honor.
Just recently, she dropped the bombed (nonchalantly) that I would be sharing the title with another friend of ours...
I was immediately offended and she could tell. Later on I called her saying how I felt offended and almost betrayed. She some-what understood but doesn't plan on changing plans and she never even said she was sorry.
If I don't start getting over this... I may just leave the wedding party.... am I overreacting? What are your thoughts?
(And its not going to be a large wedding party. Acoording to her plan it would be TWO maid of honors and ONE bridesmaid.... it doesn't make sense.)
2007-11-15 20:34:49 · 21 answers · asked by JackieSmackie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for all the answers! I think I'm starting to get over it, and I just need to be there for her. (Plus, I don't no the first thing about planning for weddings, and the other MOH is like Martha Stewart.)
And its not so much that I have to share the title thats the problem, I guess its more that she didn't talk to me about it first, and I think they've kept this a secret for maybe a week or so.
I know my message must have come off as really selfish and childish- she is just a great friend of mine and I was honored to be her MOH.
2007-11-16 07:58:03 · update #1
I can understand you being a little upset she should have just made the other girl a bridemaid....but I think leaving the wedding party is over doing it...I guess you should try to be okay with it...i mean at least she didn't demote you to bridesmaid...
2007-11-15 20:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Someone else to pay for half the bridal shower and / or bachelorette party!
I have many Brides do this. Sometimes the one standing next to the bride takes her flowers, fluffs the dress and then when I say may I have the rings please they switch places and the other one gives me the rings, gives the bride back her flowers and fluffs the train for the exit. Sometimes one stands next to the bride during the ceremony but the other one signs the marriage license.
If you are good maids of honor there are lots of dutys and dividing some of them will be more cost and time effective. But you should both go and offer support while picking the dress, the girls dresses, make up trials, all the times when the groom won't be able to help it's you 2 she's supposed to have for support. Then as I said the shower & Bachelorette Party can be expencive for one person. 2 may be better in that respect.
BTW if the other girl is married then she's not a Maid. She's a Matron.
2007-11-16 05:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you might be offended at first but my best friend just got married and she had a bridesmaid and two MOH's. Don't be offended trust me...all the work that goes into planning and the help that the bride will need. You will be glad that you get to share the duty. Also im having a maid of honor and matron of honor...was was my best friens since kindergarten..the other was best friend since college.
2007-11-15 23:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you learn how to share in kindergarten? If she has 2 friends that are SO important to her to both be her maid of honor in HER wedding, then whats the big deal? Just be the best maid of honor that you can. It doesn't matter that someone else also has this title. Just be happy for her and support her during this important time of her life rather than causing unnecessary drama to put the focus on YOU. Its about HER and what SHE wants to do.
2007-11-16 01:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by Dangerous Person 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your overreacting. I am the bride and wanted a maid and matron but told them before and one is so jealous of the other. That I had to tell one to step down. So you should be happy to share the title, less stress. If you cause stress for the bride she might ask you to be just a bridemaid. Just try to do what the bride wants is all I ask and get along with the bridal party especially if you are planning things.
2007-11-16 06:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by Kelsy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think you are over-reacting. I think you are also being very childish.
Are you that upset that you are willing to ruin a friendship over your friend deciding that she can't choose between you and another girlfriend to be MOH?
The bride probably doesn't want to have to pick a "favorite" and decide you are her MOH over her other friend or vice-versa so she wants to have you BOTH as MOH.
Its not like she's throwing you out of the wedding or demoting you.
I would take it as her saying "I don't want to have to choose between two of my closest friends so I want them to share the title". Be happy that the bride isn't picking favorites.
Of course, if you are going to pout and be upset/angry, then you should do the bride and rest of the wedding party a favor and step down.
2007-11-16 01:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
By the time the wedding occured, I had three matrons of honor-all three married women were so special to me, and I wanted all of them to have that "title." I had one maid of honor only because she was not married.
Try not to be offended...heck, this way, you won´t have all the burden of a lone maid of honor. Try to move beyond the hurt, and remember...one of these days you´ll be a bride too, and brides are funny creatures!!!
2007-11-16 00:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt be offended at all, actually you should be honoured that she has asked you to be her maid of honour. So what if you have to share the title, you should be supportive with your friend's decision. It's not your wedding anyway its not about your either. If you're a real and true friend be grateful that she included you at all. Sorry to disappoint you with this answer but you really need to get over it and just think of your friend instead of yourself. Hope you understand that.
2007-11-15 23:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by RHODELCHRIS76 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. I would be offended also, being asked to be the MOH is a special thing not to be taken lightly. I think she was wrong in what she did. Just because its her wedding does not give her the right to hurt you. Yes she has the right to pick who she wants but she still was wrong in how she handled it.
People have to start realizing that just because they have the right to do things does NOT mean its the right thing to do.
Sorry this happened to you. Good Luck
2007-11-16 01:06:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you overreacted.
Sharing the honor does not diminish it. Just split the responsibilities.
Try looking at it this way: she asked you to be her maid of honor. You accepted. You're still maid of honor. Where's the problem?
2007-11-16 09:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋