I have been living with someone and found out that their ad is still active on a datting site. I confronted him about this and He says that he only wants to look, but cant you look with out having an active ad? It makes me feel that he is only holding on until he finds something better out there. I have a 3 year old son who calls him daddy, and this greatly hurts me. I gave up everything to be with him, and now am so confused. I have no place to go, and am not sure what to do. Please give me my options here on what to do. Right now I am so heartbroken and confused as to what to do..
2007-11-15 18:29:02 · 4 answers · asked by cantmissamy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can look without having an active ad, and I'd feel the same as you, that he's with me until something better comes along...I'm not sure how long you've been together, but it might be wise to start exploring options as to where you can go...if it's his place, you need to find your own, and if it's yours, hopefully you can pay all your bills without his help. You need to be with someone who will realize that what he does not only affects him and you, but also your little boy. If this relationship doesn't work out, be more careful in the future with the men you're with...it will get very hard for your son if he calls someone daddy this month and in a few months someone else.
2007-11-15 18:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been living with him, or have known him to have your 3 year old son call him daddy? I know this might not be what you want to hear, but you need to start thinking of a back up plan now. You need to leave this man, and turn to your family or friends. There should be at least 1 family member or friend that's willing to take you in and shelter you and your children until you find a job, save up enough money and find your own little place. If he has an active ad, what makes you think he hasn't met up with a few females, and maybe even slept with them? Why does he even want to "look" if he already have you and the kids? You guys should be all he needs. There's obviously a problem here, sometimes doing the right thing is really hard, but not only do you have to think of your happiness, what about your children's future?
2007-11-16 04:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by xsphattygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're committed in a relationship, then it's pointless to look. It's like a dog chasing a car - what's he gonna do if he catches it?
It probably varies from site to site, but most will let you look without having an active ad; you just can't contact anyone you find interesting. I would certainly suspect he's looking for someone "better" out there.
This really sucks. Having invested so much in this relationship, I am reluctant to tell you to move on. But you have to be prepared for the eventuality that one day, someone that really piques his interest is going to pop up, and you'll be blindsided.
I would tell him that you don't understand why anyone in a committed relationship would even want to look, and suggest that maybe you should both move on. Gauge his reaction or lack thereof; listen to what he says and doesn't say. He won't be able to immediately cancel a membership - it will go to the end of the billing period - but he could delete his profile from the site. If he's willing to do that, maybe things are OK.
When I was first in a committed relationship, I looked occasionally more out of curiosity than anything else, but did not have an active account, and would never contact anyone. If that's what's happening here, maybe things are harmless.
2007-11-16 02:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bill F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better start preparing yourelf for the worst. Get a job and start saving your money. One day you may find out that he is seeing other people behind your back. If he is not satisfied with the relationship as it is, he may even leave you stranded like mine did me.
2007-11-16 02:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋