Should I tell my boyfriend I kissed another guy??

Question

I went out with a friend the other night and over the night we just got really drunk (I didn't mean to it just hit me).

The next day someone from the club told me that I kissed another guy. I don't remember it at all, but my friend said I did briefly but it was no big deal.

I feel so ashamed, I have been with my boyfirend almost 2 years and never done anything like this. No one that he knows was there and there is pretty much no chance he will ever find out. but I feel so so terrible, should I tell him??

Answer 1

NO...or else he will use it against you all the time. If you came to realize that what you did was not right then better not do it again and learn your lessons well. Being totally honest with him willbe appreciated but in the long run it will only be giving him an idea that you are capable of cheating on him.

it happened to me so I know how it feels and honestly I did more than that. I thought I was being the best girlfriend by telling my man about it and he appreciated my honesty but until today,5 months prior to the incidence,he still tries to put it in my face and I never thought it really did hurt him. It caused our relationship to be on doubt and always looking for fault from the other person. I have done enough to repent for what I did and i always have reasssured him that it happened within reasons but as I look what my extreme honesty have brought the relationship--I have wished that I could have just kept it all to myself.

Answer 2

Oh indeed you should! The easiest way to answer your own question is to ask yourself this: If the situation were reversed and it was your boyfriend that was drunk and kissing another girl do you feel that he should tell you? Would you feel let down or deceived or think that there was more to it if he did not tell you and you found out some other way?

If you care at all for him you will tell him immediately. The longer you take to tell him the more he is going to think that there is more to the kiss than there actually was because you took so long to tell him. Just a suggestion though, don't blame it on being drunk because than he is going to be a little less trustworthy the next time you go drinking without him.

One suggestion to make it a little easier on you, give him a card and maybe a small gift or surprise him with a dinner on you. Make sure that when you do apologize that you do show him that you are sincere and do mean it. Best of luck.

Answer 3

That might teach you not to get so drunk when you go out. Although he might never know the truth has a way of coming out even when you don't want it to. And you feeling so guilty and bad is your answer. Tell him what you told us and even though you don't remember the kiss it is still hurtful to your boyfriend so be gentle when telling him. Honesty is the best policy otherwise the guilt inside will become to much to handle especially if you love him and you have been together so long. If he loves you he will forgive you but it may take time and you must be willing to wait for his forgiveness. Good luck.

Answer 4

Damn thats a hard spot, you live with a secret and it's like your love is a lie. If he knew it would hurt him really bad, and you not telling him is going to wear thin on you. On the other hand it was a accident and you never did it before so do you really want to have a pointless fight? some things are better left alone. If you can't look into his eyes and not feel guilty then the kiss ment something and you need to tell him, if you can go on and never do it again then let it go. DON'T DRINK UNLESS HE'S THERE! and tell your friend their dumb for letting you do that a good friend would have stopped you and now on top of that she has blackmail so don't piss her off!

Answer 5

A lot of interesting advice here...

Here's one perspective on it:

You feel horrible about this because beyond the being drunk excuse you have allowed yourself to do something that could jeopardize your relationship. Your desire to tell him is a good, natural desire to be rid of the guilt. Focusing on the reasons for why it is not a big deal should be left up to him.

You must understand that in order to clear this up (which you can!) you need to be totally honest, make no excuses for your actions, and most importantly, re-affirm your love for him.

That's where the problem is going to be of his side. He will have feelings of betrayal and doubt your desire and commitment to him.

So when you tell him, be absolutely sure to not make excuses, don't focus of the fact that you were drunk, or that your friend said it wasn't a big deal. He will ask those details after you have cleared the air, and you will be able to honestly say what your friends have told you.

I can promise you the feeling of freedom you have afterward will be worth the anxiety that you will have making the confession. But it WILL be worth it!

I really hope he is understanding and loves you, because you sound like you clearly didn't intend for something like this to happen. It sucks, but it's the type of thing that if you handle it properly, you can grow from it and look back and laugh at how scary it was.

Best of luck!

-Musicman-

Answer 6

No! The only person that would benefit is you from telling him because you don't have to feel guilty anymore. But you screwed up and you should pay the price not your boyfriend. Think if it was reversed. How would you feel? You would be questioning why aren't you good enough, am I not attractive anymore, does he want to dump me, etc. But he should not have to go through all that because of your mistake. Trust me, if you want to stay with this guy you should never let him know and have your friends keep a closer eye on you in the bar in the future.

Answer 7

It is not good for a girl like you to go out with other guy... this only means that you also like him. It may not be intentional that you kissed him but always remember that a drunk person never tell lies. Your boyfriend may not know it but as time comes by he will discover this mess. I think you will have to evaluate your current situation with your boyfriend... ask yourself "am I still in love with him?".

Answer 8

If he is open minded and ready to accept the facts you can. Other wise you can forget it, since you have done when you are not in conscious. We dream a lot about many fantasies. Do we share every thing with Boy/Girl friend?

Answer 9

yes you should but assure him that it meant nothing; convince him that it was a "friend kiss", but above all else dont mention you were drunk

although i dont know what your boyfriend is like i cant really give you any full on answere but it sounds like this is eating up inside...the only way to make the quilt go away is to tell him

Answer 10

It will be better if you tell him than if he finds out from someone else. You will feel better also if you tell him. If you keep it inside you will continue feeling guilty. If you have been together for 2 years and have a strong relationship, you should be able to get through this...good luck, and everything will be fine! :]