Why?? HELP ME PLEASE!?

Question

There is one guy I know, and for some reason I always find myself being mean and awful to him. As in very, VERY mean--I told him to kill himself, which is awful because he actually tried that once. I cry when I write these things to him, but I can't stop myself even though he's an amazing person who's done nothing to me. Everytime, he takes me back and acts like it's his fault, and tells me sorry for causing ME pain, even though he starts crying too.
So can someone please, please tell me WHY I'm so awful to him and WHY he's so nice to me?
PLEASE?
I know I sound like a *****, and I probably am one, but this is driving me crazy because I don't want to hurt him.

Ok, just a few more details..
We actually are friends, we used to be really close and still are, we both helped each other through some tough times, maybe that's why he still talks to me..
It didn't used to be like this, and sometimes I just feel weighted down by him, like it's his fault I'm screwed-up, even though I know it's not. Plus, we've known each other for a long time, so there's a whole lot of history between us, and I'm not sure how to live with him anymore without just losing it, even thoguh I try hard not to.

Answer 1

you need help, see a counselor...and leave this poor guy alone.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the same position. I love this girl (ironically named Lisa) and she and I both tried suicide, unsuccessfully (pills suck ***). But we found each other, and helped each other. And I end up ******* up, and she ends up ******* up, so we stop talking. Then eventually I'll call her or send her a note saying I'm going to kill her, even though I don't mean it. I could kill someone, I have the nerve, but not her. And eventually, I call her back, and I apologize, and she just takes me back like that. I feel terrible, and I am in no way good enough for her. I think that's how he feels. I don't know if you're attracted to him or not, but he seems kind of like me. You'd never know who I am really until you open past the outer layer, and you'd discover a deep, emotional, wise, philosophical, loving, and kind person. The opposite of what I am in public almost. I don;t know, but she's one of the only people that did that to me, and I love her for that. I mean love her. If I could, I'd spend the rest of my life with her.

But that's my story not yours. Just get the discipline to not say those tings, If you find yourself about to say NO, and don't do it. Get yourself OUT of the situation. Walk away or stop writing (break your wrist if you have to.) If you ever need to talk, I'm almost always on AIM, sysofadown9580 I've been where you are, trust me i know it

Answer 3

well you should see a counselor to help you with your problem...
also... think to yourself your not that kind of person to be saying this stuff to him.... so just calm down and your not a ***** just dont act like one... say sorry and start over.... ask yourself these questions

1. Are you that kind of person

2. Do you care for this person but do not want to show it

3. Have you been taking something that might make you think this way or feel this way...

4. Is there something that he did that made you angry... if (Yes) then forget about the past and head to the future...

its ok to be angry... but sometimes you also need to know how to control it... :-) have a Great day and I hope this was some use to you..

Answer 4

Then just STOP, damn it! I cry, too when I read about these things. It really hurts me to see people get hurt. I'm telling you right now, you CAN CAUSE him to kill himself. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. Watch "The Breakfast Club". Watch the part where he talks about bullying the boy in the locker and how it must have made him feel o have to go tell his dad why he got beat up.. how embarrased he felt. Befriend him, damn it! I was one of THE MOST popular kids in high school. You know why? Because I was friends with EVERYONE. The jocks, the preps, the punks, and the band nerds... fat people, thin people. people in wheel chairs, and people with mental dissabilities. You can still change it. But, if you don't. You can BET that you ARE an a$$. Do something about it. Man the Fu*#@ up/

Answer 5

you like the drama; if you do not like him why do you still go back? Talk to him and tell him that you can no longer see him because you are not intrested in him; you are not ready for a relationship. Or is it that you like the attention you get from him? He does love you but you do not and in a relationship if there is no love there is only a friendship. Leave the poor guy alone; he will one day find a girl/young lady that will love him in return and than you will realize taht you gave up on a preety good guy; good guys are hard to find..

Answer 6

I have this problem sometimes too, I think it may be part of our past life experiences, like maybe people were not so nice to you in the past, or maybe you are so nice to people that when a nice person comes along you treat them mean because your tiered of being miss nice, my problem is that I feel that if I can be mean to a guy and he still treates me nice and gives me second chances then im cared for..... but I dont know hope I helped.

Answer 7

Well, I would say that you are having a problem with respect. You sound as though you are an Alpha Female who has no respect for weakness, this could be why you are lashing out at him. When someone is easy prey, some people take advantage. You don't want to hurt him? Then STOP hurting him! It's that easy.

Answer 8

You should definitely see a counselor or at least talk to a close adult. Maybe you have something bothering you about yourself deep down but you just take it out on him. But no matter what it is, you should appreciate that you have someone like him and you need to start showing that you are grateful for him. If you really love him, you shouldn't treat him like that. Hope this clears up for you. =)

Answer 9

You have a love hate thing going on. lol it's not as bad as you think! how long you known him for? (First off Slap him one fer me for trying to kill himself!) When I first met Andrew, I hated him lol I went to the extent of punching him in his broken wrist lol But really all I wanted was for him to notice me (this was back in highschool) and it happens sometimes we put up walls to protect ourselves but deep down we wnt to be with someone, if not boyfriend, than just as friends. Either way try to spend more time TALKING to him, what do you have in common? talk about movies but don't hurt the guy lol (Happy to say Andrew and I have been together 5 years and are getting married in May) So don't give up!

Answer 10

there has to be some reason behind why you do it.
you could try talk to him about it and see if you can pick up on why it might happen, also try take note on what happens before you start being mean, and then work from there. you really need to find away around this or one day he'll have had enough, im feeling sorry for him now.

Answer 11

You suffer from very low self esteem and its a power issue by putting him down you feel bettter about yourself. I am sure it feels great to have so much control over a someones life.I can imagine it must be very flattering to hear you are loved and wanted by someone and have the ability to tell them you don't care about or need him. Hopefully he realizes how selfish you are and you realize how much you need him in your life and he no longer is there. He needs a pschychologist ASAP... he carries so many issues and needs to take care of himself