Do you think it is possible that he senses when I start to feel relieved that he's on the mend, and panics that I will think he is more well that he actually is and expect too much from him, so then he (subconsciously) sabotages himself and deteriorates to avoid having to cope with the things that go along with being well?
2007-11-15 14:26:28 · 9 answers · asked by honey 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Nope, not at all. He's merely riding the rollercoaster of life with bipolar disorder!
My husband likes to tell me how I'm getting better, and notice how long it's been since I was last down. That puts alot of pressure on me, and when I feel the downward spiral coming I feel like I've failed him, and try that much harder to hide it and deny that it's coming. And fail anyways! I've since, finally, told him to quit mentioning to me, when I'm up, how long it's been since I was down. I can't handle the pressure. Just be grateful, like I am and call it good.
Thought I should mention, even if he is on meds, he can and probably will still cycle. It's just not supposed to be as bad.
2007-11-15 15:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Ista 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. I'm bipolar. There is no happy medium. People think you're either really happy/manic or totally depressed. Reality: you're really depressed all the time, sometimes you just quit caring and do whatever makes you even a little happy. It's hard to really feel anything normally. You either feel it so much it's scary or you feel nothing at all. You don't notice other people as much, even a significant other, because you're too caught up in all the things running through your own head. Some tiny little thing that most people won't even notice can snap you into a suicidal depression. Most of the time I seem okay to the people who know me, in my head though- I'm never okay. It's a constant battle.
2007-11-15 14:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by nichole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Maddie
I find this a very interesting question, but one which I feel that only your husband will truly be able to answer.
It isn't uncommon for people with a mental illness, or many other people come to that, to sometimes feel the need to pull back from things when they feel that they have to face up to reality and take an active role in dealing with things around them.
It can be very daunting to realise that after being ill you suddenly have to cope with all the things that may have slipped while you were unwell, this can sometimes cause the person to relapse.
So it isn't an easy question to answer, I'm afraid. As I said, maybe only your husband will know the answer, that is assuming that he knows that he is doing it, like you said, it could be an unconcious action that is isn't aware of.
Sorry if that isn't very helpful.
This link to the Mind website might help:
Understanding bipolar disorder:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+manic+depression.htm
the information is easy to read and understand.
Also this link which is specifically aimed at carers might be of use to you.
How to cope as a carer:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+cope+as+a+carer.htm
Another idea would be to find your local mental health charity:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/
the one I work for has a carers group that meet once a week, and you might find that talking to others in similar circumstances will shed some light on this difficult question.
Accessing their services is easy, and they will be able to offer support and guidance to both you and your husband. They are easy to access, it only takes a phone call and you can refer yourself.
Hope this helps.
2007-11-15 14:46:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jules 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of a bipolar sabotaging themselves, subconsciously or consciously, to endure another episode.
I really don't believe he's doing this. Rather, he's cycling. Especially from your description of what happens - he feels stable then unwell. That's classic cycling.
Look at his meds first. See if they need adjusting or changing first - before jumping to psychological conclusions. Talk to his doc or go with him to his next appointment and explain what you see happening.
The doc will give you the definitive answer if it's med related or psychological. But, again, to me, it seems like cycling.
2007-11-15 14:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar is characterized by "ups" and "downs". I think his behavior is just the bipolar, not some internal attempt to sabotage his well-being.
2007-11-15 14:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ash G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have bipolar and i find that i am on a rollercoaster up and down it goes on its own
or should say life of its own the thing i do
is just deal with it the best i can and wait until i am up again.
that is all you can do
2007-11-15 14:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by pepsi_deaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is part of the emotional roller coaster they have in their brain. I do not think his behavior is voluntary. Unfortunately, mental illness are still a mistery for science and cannot be approached accurately.
2007-11-16 01:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by ✿Houston_Girl✿ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, they go off their meds because they are feeling better and the cycle repeats itself. Talk to his therapist.
2007-11-15 14:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much about it but are you two going to counseling to help you deal with the problem?
2007-11-15 16:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋