They have known each other for 3 years. They were practically inseparable for 7 months. Then he suddenly said he didn't think he was ready to settle down. They have both been "seeing" other people. But over the last two years always gravitate back to each other. He says he will always love her. She can't/won't stop talking about him. She finally told me that she is considering proposing to him, and she wants my advice on how to do it. I figure I'll be a friend and support her decision either way, but as for how she can do it, I got nothin'.
So basically, adults only please, any opinions? What do you think?
What would be a good way for a girl to ask a guy?
2007-11-15 14:15:52 · 22 answers · asked by curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think a woman should propose to a man.
Second, if she really wants him to marry her, the BEST thing she can do is express her real feelings. If she really loves him, tell him that. Similarly, if she can't wait around while he's playing the field, tell him that.
By the way, I can totally understand why she can't/won't stop talking about him if she's in love with him. But that's why she should express honest feelings as noted above. He doesn't have to agree, but he should at least acknowledge her honesty and respect her feelings. She can at least re-evaluate once she gets his reaction.
2007-11-15 14:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
Only she will know how to do it!
Or she could drop a few hints that she wants to be proposed to, and if he says again that he isnt ready to settle down it saves here the humilitation of getting a "not just yet" answer.
Me and my husband decided mutually.
No proposal!
Sitting in bed and talking about weddings and he said to me "I think we should get married?" and i agreed. It was as simple as that for me.
Maybe she could try this?
So when the kids ask she can say there was no proposal rather than "I proposed to him"
??
Hope ive helped.
2007-11-15 16:07:58 · answer #2 · answered by beenka22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seven days plan.
Monday- send a bouquet of seasonal flowers and a card saying that she likes him and is so happy to have him in her life.
Tuesday- send him an invitation for dinner on friday night at her place.Also ask him to keep the following saturday and sunday free.
Wednesday- send him his favorite music dvd/any thing that he wants to have but wasnt able to buy it.
Thursday- send him some roses and a love you card
Friday- prepare for a candle light dinner,champagne, a warm bath with candles and rose petals all around, and other things you might feel u will be needing!!!;-) And as the night advances tell him that you plan to take him to one of his fav places in town or somewhere nearby. (plan in advance and book the hotel room if you wish to stay.)
Saturday- The DDay-pop the question when you are at his favorite spot or doing what makes him most happy and say to him that you would like to get a chance to do whatever you can to see him smile like that for the rest of your life. Will you marry me?
Sunday-come back to your place and get ready for a new beginning.
its just a rough plan. u and ur friend can sit together and modify it as per the guy's likes and dislikes.
All the best!!!
2007-11-15 14:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think she wants something that he is unable to give and she is trying to "make" it fit. This is disaster in the making.
You don't "see" other people if you are engaged to be married! He may always "love" her but so will her dog! His love is not enough for husband material. Nor is her love since you have indicated that she is seeing other people too! Like a lot of kids she just wants the wedding and the dress and to "play house" in marriage, thinking that will make her a grownup. She is not mature enough yet. The fact that she is dating others should make anyone stop and think!
If you're smart you'll stay out of it. Do NOT give her advice on how to propose or you will be blamed for it when things go sour - as they will - and it will cost you the friendship. If she's going to really make a mess of things she will have to do it on her own. She must be nuts! He has already indicated that he is not ready to settle down. I hope to heaven he turns her down. It will spare both of them a lot of arguments and a lot of money for the divorce. How foolish.
2007-11-15 14:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by D 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
No offense to your friend, but she sounds a little desperate to me. When he has clearly said that he's not ready to get married and it doesn't sound like they're even actually dating right now, why on earth does she think that he would say yes to a proposal? She is setting herself up to get even more hurt. I would try to talk her out of it before I went along with her.
Besides, she is good enough to be proposed TO and not the one doing the proposing! I think the man should ask the woman.
2007-11-15 14:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by First Lady 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
My friend recently purposed to her boyfriend and what she did was took him to blue mountain for a spa weekend - basically to get away because they live with 2 other (somewhat annoying) guys. Then when they got home she had a romantic candlelit dessert set-up (by her sister) in their house. They are getting married so I guess it worked.
I would suggest taking him to do something he loves and then a romantic, private dinner and purpose between dinner and dessert.
BUT has she talked to him recently about more of a commitment? I would suggest she do that first because going through the effort of planning a purposal and getting turned down could be pretty emotionally shattering
2007-11-15 15:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by lillou_2 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Like women, men like special one on one social events, we just don't like the term romantic, but if she wants to make it official, make a day of it, take him out to do the activities he enjoys, and some of the ones you enjoy together, spend a day with a couple thats been married a long time and is still happy, you just have to make him believe he could still be happy when married. Really make a show of happily married couples without really saying anything, and if you really want him to say yes ask him in front of his mother.
2007-11-15 14:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by burningknot 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
~Well if she is so blind and unaware of where he stands on the issue, she can always say "Oh, honey, I love you but my legs are closed until the ring is on my finger" and see how he responds. Since he has told her what he wants and doesn't want and she has chosen to be blind and deaf to it, she can suffer and live with it or she can move on with her life and find someone who has goals somewhat even remotely similar to hers. If he does foolishly knuckle under and gives in to the ultimatum, she should set aside some of the wedding loot to pay for the divorce which is sure to follow within 5 years or so.
2007-11-15 14:20:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
I don't think it matters how she does it. If she's trying to convince him to marry her based on HOW she does it, I think her motivation is a little warped. I do think she should go ahead with it because, whether he says "yes" or "no", she will learn from it!
2007-11-15 14:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by chandiepoo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your friend should wait until he asks her. Three years is plenty long enough to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
2007-11-15 20:09:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋