Im 18 years olds and about to move out of the house and start college. I tell my mom about my relationship problems so i can get things off of my chest but now she thinks that she is apart of my relationship and thinks she can control the decisions i make in the relationship. What do i do? I want to be able to be open to my mom about my relationship problems but i dont want to feel like the relationship is my mother, my boyfriend and I.
2007-11-15 14:04:34 · 11 answers · asked by Kristin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think things will get better once you go to college. I do think its nice that you can approach your mom about relationship issues but I also think you should make clear to her that you would really appreciate and you would listen to her advice as a concerned parent but to refrain from trying to be controlling even if she justifies it because she is a concerned parent..You are an adult and need to make your own decisions not only what you want to do with your life but also the people you choose to hang with..so if she can limit her input to good advice then she is also fulfilling her role as a parent as well without drawing resentment from you for crossing the line...My advice is to listen to her realizing that she may know some things you dont just from life experiences and maybe that will give her reassuruance that you are a responsible adult with good judgement. Remember one has to stumble and fall to learn to walk..Be prepared to make mistakes..Just make sure you learn from them and dont put yourself in risky situations..
2007-11-15 14:20:14 · answer #1 · answered by kindablue99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your mother how u feel and that u just want a listening ear but that u want to be able to make your own decisions in your relationship with your boyfriend. And hopefully she'll understand. Good luck
2007-11-15 22:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does this sound?
You have a daughter you had given birth to,took care of her when she was sick, made sure she made good grades, clothed her fed her, spent time teaching her and one day she says, mom I am going to cut my nose off to spite my face, I dont want YOUR opinions but just to listen and nod in agreement and support me!
Does THIS sound reasonable to you?
If it does, then you have serious ISSUES hon.
Your mom is NOT looking at your relationship woes through the eyes of fantasy and lust, but through the eyes of REALITY.
Listen to her, she KNOWS what she is talking about sweetie.
Concentrate on getting through college, men will still be around when you are done.
2007-11-15 22:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you want to be able to confide in her and get advice from her. Explain to her that you want her wisdom and love. Yet you have to be free to make your own decisions and make your own mistakes. Tell her that she has been a good mother and she has equiped you with all the knowledge that you need, and now it's time for you to put it to use. (yes I am a mother) Be open and honest with her.
2007-11-15 22:09:42 · answer #4 · answered by specialsuber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie find a girlfriend to confide in. We mothers can't keep our noses out of our daughters business if we think they are going to get hurt. My daughters always told me too and let me tell you I had to stand on my tongue to keep it from wagging. Tell her only selected things that aren't all that important in the scheme of things. If you tell to much it can alter your mothers feelings about your boyfriend and that can make things sticky.
2007-11-15 22:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly how you feel. It seems that you openly communicate with her so doing this shouldn't be a problem. If she keeps on doing it then shut her out for awhile and she'll get the message.
2007-11-15 22:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by Johny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that how u feel, maybe she will understand. or talk 2 some one else. DONT keep it in it makes everything worse beleive me i know!
2007-11-15 22:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Lexi D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clear the air and tell her the truth.
mom's always try to fix things, just tell her that you were venting and not looking for her to fix anything.
2007-11-15 22:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her u just want to talk to her, but u dont want her in ur buisness
and be nice hun
luv
Cat
2007-11-15 22:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop talking to her about it. She'll probably start figuring it out.
2007-11-15 22:16:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋