There has been a recent issue in my relationship that almost spun out of control last night. We are a young engaged couple (I'm 30 & she is almost 20) renting a place together. We already have two relatively young dogs (under two years old) and one 8 month old kitten / cat. My fiance really loves animals and my enthusuasm is nowhere near and she is putting lots of pressure on me to get yet another cat. I put my foot down, calmly and in a civilsed way and said no to it. She claims that she doesn't know why its my decision & i said it should be BOTH our decisions as we both are going to be paying for it, feeding it & generally looking after it. She can't see that 3 pets is already enough. She also keeps reminding me that i regaurly purchas things for me all the time, and i remind her that those things are for my interests with my money. Buying another cat would be an immature move i think especially with another 3 pets already in the house. How do i / we deal with this?
2007-11-15 12:47:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To be honest if she can not see your side and understand where you are coming from then she sounds a little immature. You have to sit her down and tell her and if that does not work then just don't cooperate. You don't have to feed it or take care of it. Then she will be overstressed and realize she can't handle it on her own. And if she's a good person she will give the dog/cat/pet a good and better home.
Good luck
2007-11-15 13:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by Wowza Emily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see your point and I agree with you. My suggestion would be to ask her why she wants to get another pet when you already have 3 that need care. Honestly I don't know her that well but she sounds like she is a spoiled teenager that is used to getting anything that she wants. Like someone else said if she continues about it you might want to look for another fiance, she needs to be more mature though I mean shes almost to the point of being married but shes still acting like a kid. You two are going to have to come to some kind of agreement that's going to be the easiest way to do it otherwise you or her are going to get upset at the other person for trying to overrule you if you both come to an agreement than everyone should win. Good Luck
2007-11-15 13:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 19 and me and my bf have been mutually for 4 years and we are no longer even making plans a marriage top now. we've stated it and could desire to sometime yet we neither all people is financially waiting for something like that. Wait till you get out of faculty. Get an entire time activity, a vehicle, and pays your guy or woman costs and stuff first. i'm finally on my very own and that i've got found out plenty that i think of will help me as quickly as I do get married, through fact i'm plenty greater responsible now. yet besides, yet another element, the way my BF and that i see it particularly is, If we've been meant to be mutually, what's the push? For us there is none, through fact the time isn't top. i desire to have a great wedding ceremony and a great existence thereafter, and that i know that if we jumped into it now it does not be great through fact we would be broke, and under pressure out, and who is familiar with what else. and those are the forms of issues which could bring about separation and divorce and that i truthfully do no longer desire that. Please understand which you're nevertheless so youthful and the longer you wait the greater arranged you would be. you're able to desire to no longer could desire to ask a gaggle of folk on line if the time is nice besides. it particularly is once you're able to desire to know that this isn't any longer. while the time is nice you would know. And no person will could desire to enable you to're making up your ideas. desire this helps. good luck.
2016-10-02 11:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by ansell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why she wants another cat.Is it because she wants to even up the animals,or is she feeling a void for children?Remind her that the 8 month old kitten is still maturing,and if you get another one,the house will be turned upside down for a while.Then explain to her why you do not want another animal.Besides,who says you have to buy the cat?There are plenty up for adoption for free.It could be animals are her interest.If they are,encourage her to volunteer at the local animal shelter.She will be able to give the love she feels she needs to to these animals,but yet you don't have to deal with the mess and expense of them.
2007-11-15 12:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot agree more with the advice of Barthebe I would just add this ;; Your fiance is not only immature but very selfish and she will stay this way It could be hard to break a engagement but its MUCH MORe harder to get a divorce with 1 kid or worst 2 Think hard before you go farther with this lady
2007-11-15 14:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 30 and she is 19.
she is an immature kid that thinks you should give her what she wants.
and you know it!!!
i agree 3 pets in a rental is 2 more than you need and four is outrageous. what does the landlord have to say about all these pets???
2007-11-15 14:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should reconsider having her as a fiance. She is very immature and this power control issue of hers will only get worse if you marry her. Take a step back and THINK
2007-11-15 13:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋