I've been dating my bf for two years and our relationship is wonderful. We do have our problems, just like every couple does, no one is immune...but things are slowly getting better. But one problem is that my boyfriend feels insecure and has a hard time trusting me completely. He's been hurt and backstabbed in the past from people who meant the most to him and he just expects it from people now. I haven't done a thing to make him suspicious, I'm a very loyal person, but he does fear that my love of attention (which I prefer from him rather than anyone else) and my way of attracting a lot of guys might make me see better options and cheat on him or go behind his back. He is the one that I love, I don't want anyone else. There is no one that an replace him in my heart.
But how do I make him feel more secure? Is trust a thing that has to be shown over time or can I make it easier for him to feel secure with me? How have you overcame issues of trust?
2007-11-15 12:25:01 · 8 answers · asked by Vanity Affaire 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh trust me, he knows how I feel and how deep my feelings are. I try to express as well as show how much I love him.
2007-11-15 12:30:28 · update #1
People are either suspicious by nature, or not. You happen to be one that is not, so you don't understand why he still doesn't trust you. He will always be this way, what happened in the past only justified his insecurities. I have been married to a man just like that for almost 35 years, and only lately has he eased up. (He's not violent or anything, but he sulks if a guy talks to me). The point is, he'll always be this way, and you can either live with it or leave. I actually have fun with it on occasion, and remember, while he's busy sulking, he's also patting himself on the back, knowing others want you, but you're with him!
2007-11-15 12:34:17 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG a female version- a mirror image of myself!
Believe me it will take forever and there is not so much you can do about it so if you are young and pretty LEAVE because you don't want to spend your time and end up in a wasteland.
It took so many years to convince my fiancee that she is the only one that I love and truly love. I have even decided and brought her to a place in Rome where we can get married.
But everyday I am like in a hell hole that she accusses me of stuff that I don't do-how come I am so attractive to women etcc.. so I said next time I see St. Francis of Assissi I'll borrow his sack cloths and smell like a bum so women won't notice.
Convincing him will make himsecure for a moment specially after having exhausting sex with him but after a while things will get worse and worst until you realize that it is not your problem but his.
My fiancee took medications for her paranoia but we ended up nowhere and I felt that I wasted my love and much of time on something that is worthless.
She is asking me back yet again but I said the issues of trust is with her and she must deal with it first before our relationship can be succesfull.
2007-11-15 12:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by wolfass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yea I understand what you are saying and I realized that when you are in a relationship like that you really need to keep those boundaries in place with other guys. Even having guy friends can be a threat to your boyfriend so if you really want him to feel secure you need to stay away from all guys as much as possible.
2007-11-15 12:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I haven't come over trust issues.. I haven't found anyone that I can truly trust... result I'm still single and still virgin at age 57. Conclusion: I guess you have to show trust before you can be trusted!
2016-05-23 08:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If after 2 years, he is still distrustful, he is likely to continue to be that way, no matter what you do. It sounds like it has nothing to do with you. It isn't possible for you to make him feel more secure. All you can do is deal with it patiently and accept that he might not change in this area.
2007-11-15 12:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by gracie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should realize that you would not deceive him. that you are committed to the two of you. Time should make him more sure of that, but if not i don't see it changing. Telling him and showing him should be enough. He is either going to trust you or drive a wedge between you. He is going to have to trust you or risk making it impossible for you to have the trust and respect you deserve, which is unfair to you.
2007-11-15 12:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be honest in your dealings with him, mean what you say and do what you say. You cant do anything if he has serious self esteem issues, I would suggest him getting some individual therapy. It would help the both of you. Good luck to you two
2007-11-15 12:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by sphynxcats3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him EXACTLY what you just said in your question.
he is the one and only, no one can replace him.
2007-11-15 12:28:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋